Normally, the NFL settles down around now.
I was thinking that Week 3 would be the week that the NFL would return to the norm — but then suddenly, some strange things happened: The Dolphins scored 70 points, Taylor Swift was at Arrowhead — and the Chargers won a close game!
Just another crazy week in this crazy league.
This week’s voters were Stephen Serda, Ron Kopp Jr., Rocky Magana, Jared Sapp, Matt Stagner, Price Carter, Nate Christensen, Dakota Watson and myself.
1. San Francisco 49ers (2nd)
Brock Purdy isn’t a good enough name to be a franchise quarterback, apparently...
2. Miami Dolphins (5th)
I cannot believe they didn’t break the single-game points record.
3. Philadelphia Eagles (3rd)
As per ESPN: Hurts now has the most rushing touchdowns in a quarterback’s first 50 career games (29), surpassing Cam Newton (28) on Monday in his 48th game.
4. Kansas City Chiefs (4th)
That’s more like it.
5. Buffalo Bills (7th)
They’re settling into the season nicely.
6. Dallas Cowboys (1st)
Losing Trevon Diggs for the year seriously dampens their Super Bowl chances — but then again, so does losing to the Cardinals.
7. Baltimore Ravens (6th)
Justin Tucker has lost his superpowers.
8. Detroit Lions (10th)
Jared Goff scored his first rushing touchdown of his Lions career on Sunday. That’s mad.
9. Cincinnati Bengals (8th)
Joe Burrow isn’t playing up to his contract currently.
10. Seattle Seahawks (12th)
They’re playoff-bound, but that’s probably about it.
11. Los Angeles Chargers (11th)
They won in spite of Staley, not because of him.
12. Green Bay Packers (16th)
This young offense is going to be a roller coaster all season.
13. Cleveland Browns (19th)
The offense just isn’t very good.
14. Jacksonville Jaguars (9th)
I’m going to watch this team at Wembley Stadium this weekend. Send help.
15. Pittsburgh Steelers (17th)
Google search George Pickens’ attempt at a block.
16. New Orleans Saints (13th)
It all fell apart when Derek Carr’s shoulder decided to do the same.
17. Washington Commanders (14th)
What a rough day for the offense.
18. Atlanta Falcons (18th)
Can they trade us Kyle Pitts?
19. Los Angeles Rams (15th)
I mean, I’m sure they prefer the three-point contest they won between themselves and the Bengals.
20. Minnesota Vikings (21st)
Tank for Caleb Williams.
21. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (23rd)
Just got dominated on Monday Night Football.
22. Indianapolis Colts (26th)
Matt Gay could kick the ball over a mountain.
23. Tennessee Titans (20th)
There are only so many times you can run Derek Henry into a wall of defenders until it just becomes stupid.
24. New England Patriots (24th)
Mac Jones is a living version of f—k around, find out.
25. New York Giants (25th)
26. New York Jets (22nd)
They’re sticking with Zach Wilson, evidently. Fools.
27. Houston Texans (31st)
28. Las Vegas Raiders (27th)
Davantae Adam is sick of losing. You chose Las Vegas, mate.
29. Arizona Cardinals (30th)
James Connor lives in the end zone.
30. Carolina Panthers (29th)
They are the worst team in a lousy division.
31. Denver Broncos (28th)
So, so funny.
32. Chicago Bears (32nd)
Greg Olsen trying to give the Bears moral victories was great.