‘The Match’ recap: results, one-liners, clips, tweets and more

Rules: 2023’s edition featured 12 holes of “scramble play.” That means both players on a team tee off. Each team plays the next ball from wherever the better shot landed — and they continue to do that until someone makes it into the cup. Here’s how to watch Capital One’s “The Match.”

Match recap

Here’s a rundown of what happened in the match:

• Hole 1: Patrick Mahomes and Steph Curry establish themselves as their team leaders for the evening with strong opening shots. On par 4, Mahomes tried to putt it and barely missed from the rough. Klay Thompson came close, and Curry missed left. Hole one ended in a tie. EVEN
• Hole 2: Mahomes backslides a bit and hits his second stroke into the water. Kelce rescues him by putting it in play. Not to be underdone, Thompson hit his into the sand trap. Curry overshoots on his third shot, while Mahomes chips close enough to the cup for the gimme. Curry and Thompson both miss putts to give the Chiefs the early lead. Kelce/Mahomes UP1
• Hole 3: With his second shot, Mahomes sets up his team nicely. Kelce was unhappy with his second shot and proceeds to throw his club. Mahomes makes his birdie on the third hole. Kelce/Mahomes UP2
• Hole 4: After Mahomes hits his second shot too hard, we see Curry coach his teammate. Kelce just overshoots his shot for par, but Mahomes successfully putted it in. Both Thompson and Curry did not make par, extending Mahomes and Kelce’s lead. Kelce/Mahomes UP3
• Hole 5: Curry takes arguably the best shot on a difficult par 5, while the other three sliced their shots. Kelce hit it from the catering tent, almost on to the green. With his second shot, Curry hits the ball from the fairway onto the green in impressive fashion, but he and Thompson missed an eagle putt. Kelce/Mahomes UP3
• Hole 6: Kelce had the best shot out of the three that made it on the green (sorry Thompson), winning $100,000 to be donated to No Kid Hungry. Thompson continues to struggle as he missed his birdie putt. Light-hearted trash talk ensues, Mahomes and Kelce would probably like to believe this led to their success at this hole. Kelce/Mahomes UP4
• Hole 7: Facing a steep deficit, the Warriors are looking for their Chiefs comeback moment. With his second shot, Mahomes hit it into the bunker. Facing the par 5, Thompson hits his ball into the water. Both Curry and Thompson forget that this is a (expletive) live event. Kelce makes his birdie putt. Thompson pulls through to tie the hole. Kelce/Mahomes UP4
• Hole 8: On par 3, Curry looks to put his team back on track with a 116 foot apex on his shot. Kelce’s birdie putt missed, with Mahomes following suit missing their chance to win the match. Kelce/Mahomes UP4
• Hole 9: Thompson used his first shot to hit an onlooker. Mahomes and Kelce have the chance to win the match at this hole. On par 4, Kelce hits a dart that rolls back even closer to the hole. Kelce/Mahomes UP3
• Hole 10: On par 4, Mahomes has the chance for an eagle. Kelce flirts with the camera before Thompson’s shot. Kelce missed an eagle putt, but is not discouraged. Curry makes his birdie shot. Kelce/Mahomes UP4

Mahomes and Kelce win it in 10, garbage time ensues.

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What they’ll be talking about

Some one-liners to know

• Klay Thompson is introduced to the crowd with a diss by his own father, who was quoted as saying that Klay was so skinny that he, “made Reggie Miller look like Karl Malone.”
• Travis Kelce on hole one is already grateful that this is a team sport.
• Theme of Hole 2: “The big guy’s got soft hands!” - Mahomes of Kelce.
• We’ve made it to the fourth hole before anybody was hit, and there was a close call here. Mahomes says to have the EMT ready.
• On Hole 5 Mahomes requests more space from the crowd, the rangefinder makes it’s first TV appearance. He also reiterates that participants are not pros and it is in their best interest to move.
• Impressive and ironic Steph Curry stat: He has a 245 regular season game streak with at least one three-pointer. The last time he had a regular season game without a three-pointer, was on 11/8/2018, which was two weeks before the first [The] Match was ever played.
• *insert non-sponsored, plug for Coors* Mahomes confirms that Coors “bears” have been consumed.
• Kelce credits corn hole, beer pong and darts for the strong connection between he and Mahomes. He also shares his go-to karaoke songs: Pride and Joy - Stevie Ray Vaughn and You Shook Me All Night Long - ACDC.
• Mahomes gently bumps Curry with his cart, prompting Curry to share his plans to sue both Mahomes and Kelce. Kelce is guilty by proxy in Curry’s mind.
• After Kelce and Mahomes missed their chance to win the match, Charles Barkley says that Curry and Thompson may still be “alive but the priest is in the room.”

Tweets and things