15 excuses heard after the Chiefs’ loss to the Colts

Editor’s note: New Arrowhead Pride contributor Tom Ruprecht is a lifelong Chiefs fan who is forced to watch New York Jets games in New Jersey. He is also a comedy writer who has written for television shows like “Late Night with David Letterman” and “How I Met Your Mother.” We are delighted for Tom to bring us a different kind of commentary after Kansas City Chiefs games.

1. “Ultimately, the game was decided by what really matters: a referee overhearing a naughty word.”
2. “Well, that’s the last time we find our kicker on LinkedIn.”
3. “We always struggle against young, mobile quarterbacks.”
4. “Mahomes was distracted by Andrew Luck sipping Mai Tais, raving about the joys of early retirement.”
5. “Never should’ve let Nathaniel Hackett coach our special teams.”
6. “Chris Jones blew the game by becoming the first player in NFL history to swear.”
7. “We told Skyy he should drop a “y” from his name — and well, we guess he misheard.”
8. “In hindsight, maybe the pre-game Jagermeister was a bad idea.”
9. “How were we supposed to know it’s a mistake letting the punter throw the biggest pass of the game?”
10. “If Justin Reid and Matt Ammendola switch positions, we win going away.”
11. “Hey, we don’t want to be the ones to keep the 1972 Dolphins from drinking their champagne.”
12. “Turns out once every nine years, Kelce drops a touchdown pass.”
13. “We couldn’t watch film of the Colts’ offense against Jacksonville — because the Colts had no offense against Jacksonville.”
14. “If we win, Frank Reich gets fired — and who wants that on your conscience?”
15. “Not fair that one team gets to play with lucky horseshoes on their helmets.”