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Derrick Johnson is a great Chief

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Hi, my name is MNchiefsfan (or Seth Keysor if you want to be all precise), and I’m here to explain 10 reasons why Derrick Johnson is one of the greatest Chiefs of all time.

Why today? Well, we’ll get to that soon. But first and foremost, let’s talk about tackling people.

Tackling people is important in football, because if you don’t tackle them they proceed to run all the way to the end zone. That’s called a touchdown, and it’s bad when it happens against you. Tackling them stops it from happening, and that’s good because it means the bad thing (aforementioned touchdown) doesn’t happen.

In the history of the Chiefs organization, literally no one has tackled more people than Derrick Johnson, with 890 tackles. That means that 890 times Derrick Johnson has stopped something terrible from happening. If we estimate that every time DJ did not tackle someone it would have been a touchdown, that means DJ has prevented 6,230 points from being scored against the Chiefs. Wow, right?

Not only does DJ prevent bad things from happening, but he does it in ways that make us all happy.

I don’t want to exaggerate my position, but literally nothing has ever brought me the same amount of happiness as that video clip and it’s the best thing in the history of mankind. It brings us happiness. Much like our touchdown conversation above, it’s important to note that happiness is better than sadness. Approximately 91.2% better, in fact (sadness is sometimes nice if you’re in one of those weird moods where it’s emotionally satisfying to be sad, like when you’re reading Lamentations or listening to Adele). That means your life is 91.2% better because of DJ. I bet you haven’t even thanked him, have you? Of course not, you only think about yourself.

There are more reasons Derrick Johnson is the greatest. One of them includes taking the football out of midair when opposing quarterbacks throw it (this is called an interception) and running it back the other way to score a touchdown. This not only stops the other team from catching the ball (and probably scoring a touchdown if DJ doesn’t tackle them and save the day like he usually does), but it adds points for the Chiefs. That means in addition to the literally thousands and thousands of points DJ has saved, he’s scored points. I don’t have an exact number in front of me, but it’s probably another thousand or so. At least it felt like that some games.

Speaking of that, did you know that DJ is tied for the all-time lead in pick-sixes in a single game? It’s true, see? And DJ, even in his now ripe old (football) age, is still doing it.

Again, DJ is the greatest, and even the Jets receivers acknowledged this by barely trying to tackle him at the end of that pick. Would you try to stop the greatest? I would not.

But what really, really makes DJ the greatest is that he’s been with us for more than a decade, delivering play after play and being the soul of the defense. And even now, after all that time, he remains the gift that keeps on giving.

Now, I’m sure it’ll come out later (or maybe even has as I sit here and type) that it’s not EXACTLY a pay cut, or whatever. I don’t care. As far as I’m concerned, DJ said “I shall do whatever we need, Chiefs Kingdom” and then proceeded to take the salary cap and beat it like it owed him child support. Because that’s how DJ does things.

Oh, and his nickname is “DJ.” Easy to say, easy to type, and memorable. Even my 3-year-old daughter knows it. When you’re so great that you’re willing to make even your nickname easy to cheer for, you are the greatest.