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An open letter to Kansas City Chiefs fans

Start me up. Ah, you've got to, you've got to. Never, never, never stop. Start it up. Ah, start it up, never, never, never. You make a grown man cry...

Dearest Chiefs fans,

Hi I’m Dirkness. How ya doin? I used to write on this here beautiful website but Stormin’ Jimmy Thorman told me my voice was too sexy so now I host a podcast called Amateur Hour. Anywho, I like the sports. Nice to meet ya.

One of my favorite things about sports is that, on occasion, we the fans have an opportunity to actually affect what happens on the field.

False starts. Delay of games. Miscommunications. Worst. Day. Ever. This is the fans’ tangible impact on the game.

Passion. Emotion. A sense of invincibility. This is the fans’ intangible impact on the game.

Think about that. You take 106 of the most athletically gifted human beings in the world and square them off in the world’s most complicated sport. And then you got me: currently typing this in my underwear after waking up at noon today, with Cheez-it crumbs littered all over myself, and I can impact the game?!?

What a time to be alive. Quite literally…

The Kansas City Chiefs play their most important home game in 13 years on Sunday, with the opportunity to advance further than they’ve been in 23 years.

I love this year’s team. I do. I fucking love them. It’s easily my favorite team since the Vermeil days with Priest Holmes and Will Shields and Jason Dunn, the team I grew up on and adored. But guess what? They never got as far as this team can on Sunday.

Think of WHAT this team accomplished in 2016:

  • Division Champs (first time since 2010)
  • Playoff Bye Week (first time since 2003)
  • 6-0 in the division (first time since 1995)
  • First ever 12-4 season (Important: Accomplishing each of these goals while avoiding the 13-3 curse)
Then think of HOW this team accomplished what they did in 2016. Four "I'll remember exactly where I was and who I was with" instant classics:

  • Alex Smith: Season 4, Episode 1
  • Peters Punts a Poached Pigskin
  • Da Denver Doink
  • The Ber-Re-Conversion
Now it’s our time to give back. We need to do our part on Sunday. Here’s a few next level cheering tips:

-Make noise early in the play clock, too. Cheering at the line disrupts the QB’s communication with the offense, but the coach is only allowed to speak to the QB up until 15 seconds are left on the play clock. Reciting playcalls isn’t easy. They’re long and confusing. If the QB mishears any information, it could lead to all kinds of trouble.

-It’s important to cheer the team while they’re struggling. Check out this quote from former NFL’er Lawrence Jackson:
"There are times when you need to be loud, no matter what. When [the] offense turns the ball over, cool, that's done with. But the defense is out there now, and—at that point more than ever—we need to let the visiting team know we're not giving in. We're going out there to kick some ass, you know?"
-Bang your seats - Great substitution for giving your voice a rest. I like to bang while the offense breaks the huddle and then start yelling as they line up so I don’t miss any of the action.

-This one should be obvious but I still see too much of it: Don’t make noise when the Chiefs are on offense. Don’t cheer their decision to go for it on fourth down. Don’t do the Arrowhead Chop. Don’t extend your cheers over from the previous play. Quiet time. Six inch voices.

Arrowhead Stadium is a venue that wins games for its team. You could say it has …a bit of a reputation. They tell me it’s gotten so loud before that some guy drank 142.2 Guinness’s or something.

("Some guy" is actually me on Sunday morning)

But there were a few rumblings locally that Arrowhead wasn’t all that loud a few weeks ago during Thursday night’s game against the Raiders. Sure, it was loud, but it wasn’t "Arrowhead Loud." I was there. And frankly, I don’t disagree. We can be louder.

It should be "John Elway refuses to snap the ball because the crowd is too loud" loud. (PS: This penalty was removed from the rulebook in 1994. Be as fucking loud as you want!)

It should be make the ground shake, make your ears bleed, make your head hurt loud.

I'm gonna do my part on Sunday. I’ll be the loud guy in red if you're looking.

What I’m asking is that 76,415 of my closest friends join in on the fun with me.


his Dirkness

It's Game Time.

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