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Chiefs vs. Ravens: The best and worst

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His Dirkness' weekly KC Masterpiece

Tommy Gilligan-USA TODAY Sports

TOO easy.

No no no, too EASY.

Yesterday was exactly what the doctor ordered for a team who's battery life is on red, in need of a full week’s recharge for the home stretch.

Ain’t no thang but a chicken wang on a strang.

The Kansas City Chiefs’ 34-14 win over the Baltimore Ravens wasn't a total pushover. The game was still technically up for grabs before Marcus Peters’ pick-six in the 4th quarter, but the outcome felt secure ever since Tyvon Branch’s fumble-six (if not before then). But it was nothing compared to the emotional toll this physically beaten down team has endured over the past three weeks.

It wasn’t especially pretty. However, Andy Reid seems to thrive in those types of games. I’m not sure any team in the NFL has won more games over the past few seasons by doing less.

Get an early lead, sit on the ball, don’t make any mistakes, and wait for the other team to come crumbling down. That’s been the crux of both the Chiefs’ 9-0 start in 2013 and their current 8 game winning streak.

In other words, Andy is the type of coach who wants to win first, look good second. Maybe that’s his secret. Because he sure takes a lot of flak from the media for a coach who’s flexed his mustache to a career record of 159-110-1. And that is pretty. Soooo pret-tay.

We goin’ sizzler, y'all.

The Best & Worst w/ His Dirkness

Best look to the future - Quarterback is the most important position in football, if not across all sports. We all know this. But I would argue the 2nd, 3rd and 4th most important positions are Pass Rusher, CB and WR, in that order. Well, say hello to Justin Houston, Marcus Peters and Jeremy Maclin, who are 26, 22, and 27 years old (respectively) and under contract until 2021, 2019, and 2020 (once again, respectively). Go ahead and read that last sentence again. Bask in it. The Chiefs are locked in at these positions for the foreseeable future, and that’s a beautiful thing.

Best news about Marcus Peters - He’s a total stud (as much as I’d like to end this paragraph, and this article, right here, unfortunately I have more to say). And Peters is only going to get better. Cornerback is not a position that’s easy to learn. The best of the best don’t start shining until their third of fourth seasons in the NFL. Odds are you’d never heard of Josh Norman up until this, his fourth year in the league, when he’s likely to win Defensive Player of the Year. Darrelle Revis wasn’t an All Pro until his third year. Patrick Peterson, third season. Chris Harris, Vontae Davis, Brent Grimes, on and on. They all went through their growing pains. You won’t really find an Odell Beckham or a Deandre Hopkins at the toughest position to play in today’s NFL. But you will find rookies, like Peters, who show all the signs of becoming one of the greats.

Best part about Peters’ pick-six - It was the play after Andy Reid tried to challenge a catch but threw his flag too late and there was mass confusion. Here’s MP22 before the snap, throwing up his arms in confusion at the defensive call. See, if he wasn’t a rookie, he would’ve already known HeisenBob called the score a touchdown play.

Best NFL Awards Show - It’d look something like this…

  • Eric Berry: NFL Man of the Year
  • Derrick Johnson: NFL Comeback Player of the Year
  • Marcus Peters: NFL Defensive Rookie of the Year

Best team to ever lose 5 games in a row and then win 8 games in a row - Chiefs. Also, the worst team to ever do so.

Worst team to ever return a fumble 70+ yards for a TD and an INT 90+ yards for a TD in the same game - Chiefs. Also, the best team to ever do so.

Worst late hit you'll see all season - Timmy Jernigan on Alex Smith. I loved how adamantly Baltimore argued the call. It wasn't even close. And the Ravens were looking good up until that point, even in those Grey Poupon pants.

(Wait. Hold on. Folks, I’m sorry, but Steve Harvey read the wrong name for this B&W distinction. Still a great night! Here’s the actual winner…)

Worst Best late hit you’ll see all season - I mean, BOOM.

Best announcing moment - There's a play, mid-2nd quarter, where Mike DabVito and Derrick Johnson both help blow up a screen. Right away, Kevin Harlan recognizes they are the two players who rehabbed their Achilles injuries together last season. Announcing is a difficult, thankless job, so I like to point out when somebody excels at it. Harlan wasn’t done though. Later on, he referred to Marshall Yanda’s facemask dangling slobber as "mistletoe." Take a freaking bow, Kevin.

Best guard in football - The aforementioned, Marshall Yanda. I believe this would be the consensus amongst NFL folks. Well, yesterday, Jaye Howard had a great game. I’m not sure how much of his work came against Yanda Bear, but Jay-E flashed throughout the day. And he definitely got the best of him on one snap, leading to an illegal crackback call (explained as a roll up block, or something weird). Pay this man before the rest of the league figures out how good he is.

Best 3rd and 1 defense in the NFL - Chiefs. I’d bet the defense takes a real sense of pride in this stat. I know I do. A real man’s man stat. "You can’t get one yard on us."

Best matchup to exploit - Kendrick Lewis on Jeremy Maclin. I’m going to be disappointed if that play doesn’t go for a touchdown.

Worst time for women and child to be watching - When Charcandrick West had the audacity to celebrate his touchdown and dance with his teammate for all of 2 seconds. What kind of message is Chark sending to the children? And who’s gonna teach my kids right from wrong now? We should all be talking about whether or not Dubstep will be suspended for next week. Such a classless act.

Worst injury - Gotta be Jimmy Clausen’s broken ankles.

Worst call - Daniel Sorensen flagged for his jersey getting caught on Jimmy Clausen's helmet. That hit wasn't late. It only looked bad because it yanked Santa Clausen's helmet off as he tried to get up.

Worst fear as a Chiefs fan - Justin Houston’s injury is more serious than we know. There are reports out there. And Dr. James Andrews, the scariest man in sports, is now involved. But this defense badly needs Fiddy Sack back. There was a noticeable lack of Puff Puff Pass Rush yesterday. Clear eyes. Full bellies. Not stoned.

Worst news about Pittsburgh beating Denver - The Chiefs need to continue winning. Ain't no rest for the wicked. Money don't grow on trees. The Steelers are going to win out (Baltimore, Cleveland), so the Chiefs need to as well in order to earn the right to play the NFL Europe AFC South winner. And if the Jets can beat the Patriots next week, the Chiefs will be fighting for their playoff lives in the final week against the Raiders. Go Patriots.

Best news about Pittsburgh beating Denver - The AFC West is still alive. And, if everything breaks just right, if the Steelers and Jets win out and the Broncos lose to Cincinnati, then Denver is out of the playoffs and the Jets come to Kansas City for the first round.

As if there’s any doubt…

Everything’s coming up Milhouse,

His Dirkness