Move over Royals, there's a new winner in town.
Yes, the Kansas City Chiefs entertained the idea of showing up for their regularly scheduled game yesterday. A novel concept for a professional football team, and probably about 2-3 weeks too late, but HEY HEY HEY HEY - Better than late than never!
A quick breakdown of the city's two juggernauts for all the haters out there...
The Royals begin every game with Escobar swinging at the first pitch. The Chiefs begin every game with a screen pass that resembles the morning after a night of getting honxed. Advantage: Royals.
The Royals just defeated Canada. The Chiefs just promoted Canada to starting RG. Advantage: Chiefs (hey, I love Canada).
The Royals send in the great Wade Davis to close games out. The Chiefs once had Willie Davis close out a great game. Advantage: Royals.
The Royals came in second last season. The Chiefs won the Super Bowl this preseason (only undefeated team - look it up!). Advantage: Chiefs.
Royals fans HATE Joe Buck. Chiefs fans ... hate Joe Buck. Advantage: Push.
There you have it, folks. Seems like a tie to me. Which is a step up for my football teams this year. Shout out to Nick Bakay, who used to do this bit on SportsCenter back in the day. Now lets eat some B's &
The Best and Worst w/ His Dirkness
Best throwback - Tamba Hali and Derrick Johnson have not had good seasons, both for very legitimate reasons. But yesterday, returning to their 2013 comfort zone of Arrowhead Stadium against a third string QB, they carried the defense. DJ forced two INTs, tipping one to Eric Berry via the helpful hand of Antonio Brown (great moment), and picking one off himself. Meanwhile, Tamba put a stop to the biggest drive of the game (third down in the red zone, Steelers down 16-10) and cemented the victory with a vintage Tambahawk strip. If nothing else, it was great to see two of the all time Chiefs' greats play up to their capabilities when the team needed someone to step up.
Best throw-forward (for those Chiefs fans who are clueless here, this is when the QB attempts a pass over and across the line of scrimmage) - The youngins on offense: Charcandrick West, Chris Conley and Albert Wilson. Just like we drew it up before the season (the fourth quarter of the preseason, to be exact). These three tykes, two of which went undrafted, combined for 263 of the Chiefs' 377 yards of offense yesterday. Quick thoughts on the threesome: Wilson finally looks like he did at the end of last season, not sure if his injury was nagging him or if he just wasn't getting any looks. Conley seems a bit timid over the middle with contact, but definitely possesses the raw abilities to be a weapon. And 'Drick seems to thrive off running out of shotgun, with open space in front of him. I don't know if these three have a future with the team, but they have 10 more games of audition to prove they should be.
Best guess at the Chiefs final record - 7-9. They aren't 1-5 bad, nor are they 11-5 good, which is what many of us hoped coming into this year. They just farted away their chances early in the season. They let one loss become multiple losses (Broncos heartbreak, Jamaal's injury). They were mentally weak. Which seems so weird to me. They have an experienced head coach and an experienced QB, who I might not always see eye-to-eye with, but I've always thought had a good control on the locker room. There are veterans all over the defense. These seem like the foundational pieces they would need to carry them through the bad times. And this team has more talent than last year's scrappy 9-7 squad. I just don't get it. Hard to remove the red tint from my sunglasses, I guess.
Worst predictions - Rich Baldinger and Michael Coleman, on whatever show is on CBS at 10:30 a.m., picked the Steelers to win 28-10 and 27-3, respectively. Mind you this is a Kansas City Chiefs specific pregame show. This'd be like BJ Kissel getting a terrible haircut, slapping on a bow tie, and picking the Lions to win 45-6 next week. Or maybe that's just my Halloween costume for next week.
Best / Worst feeling - When the Chiefs score a touchdown. Best, because hey, that's awesome. Those are actually worth twice as much as a field goal, which you could see the team figuring out as yesterday went on. But then they play that song. That new touchdown song. And I become Bleeding Ears Murphy. And suddenly the whole kicking a field goal every drive thing makes sense because that song is so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so bad. I blame this season on that song.
Best patience I've ever seen from a RB - Now, the answer to this was always and forever Priest Holmes. But I think Le'Veon Bell is actually more patient than Priest. I've never seen a RB so content to just sit behind a pile of OL and wait it out. And he makes it work.
Worst place for said RB to be on a crucial 4th and 1 - On the bench. Which is exactly where LeVeon was when DeAngelo Williams got stuffed late in the first half. It's like Todd Haley was reliving the glory days of losing games in Kansas City on purpose.
Best jersey made better - Dear sir, you are a hero. Your jersey is awesome. I just have one suggestion - placing a "24/" before the 7, so it reads "Ass 24/7." Then you'll really be fighting them off with a stick. Your welcome.
Best development of 2015 - Eric Fisher has been good, despite playing musical chairs at tackle because Donald Stephenson: A) can't play RT and B) quit on the team (yep, went there). We even got to see some fight out of Fish Blockos when he was flagged for rightfully coming to the defense of Karma Charcandrick, who was getting his ankle twisted up by a defender after the play. I think this is something we all needed to see out of Fisher. You heard the whispers around Week 1 questioning his love for the game, his willingness to fight through nagging injuries, and his desire to step up to the challenge of JJ Watt. This was good to see yesterday and might be the most positive development so far of 2015.
Worst debate to have - Should I be cheering for my team to win or lose? This was on my mind all week while the Steelers' QB situation was up in the air (I was actually surprised Roethlisberger didn't play, he usually doesn't take no for an answer). But when your squad's reached that point of the season where the playoffs are nothing but a green dream in your pipe, all winning accomplishes is a worse draft position. Or maybe winning builds camaraderie within the team. Maybe momentum is created for next year by finishing out the lost season strong. Maybe team prestige matters when it comes to the recruitment of future free agents, coaches and executives. Or maybe the Chiefs are just mediocre enough to once again shatter any hopes of drafting a QB in the first round. Regardless, I hate how often this debate has been relevant in Kansas City by October.
Best hope for a meaningful game - If the Chiefs beat the Lions, they'll head to Denver at 3-5 coming off their bye, in a Skate Or Die type of game that will carry just a modicum of significance.
Wait, the Chiefs play at what time next week?