That was the one.
That was the game people will remember most if this Kansas City Chiefs season continues its 2014 path down the Verruckt slide.
The 14-6 lead. The offensive PI. The 3rd and 20 INT. The 3rd and 18 TD. The Travis Kelce fumble. The flag that just now came out for the offensive PI. The, uh, well I'm still not sure what we're calling the end of that game. The Chieftastrophe? And finally, the staggering disparity between two numbers of great significance: 48 and 13.
This game had a little bit of everything.
All of which is nothing new for Chiefs fans, where the sky isn't so much falling as it is sitting comfortably on the ground.
I am Kansas City's everlasting sadness.
The Best & Worst w/ His Dirkness
Worst two minute drill of all time - That. THAT! That incompetent, dimwitted, embarrassing, INCONCEIVABLE!, gutless, mind-boggling, Carlester Crumpling, incomprehensible, pathetic attempt by the Chiefs offense to tie the game yesterday. Ugh. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Here's just one example of a more properly executed drill.
Best not said anymore - Alex Smith is among the smartest QB's in the NFL. He had no grasp on what was happening at the end of that game. None. It reminded me of Elvis Grbac in a two minute drill (only Elvis was sexier). Intermediate Alex passes (0-3 yards) to the sideline. Deep Alex passes (4-7 yards) over the middle. Doesn't spike the ball. Then he throws a swing pass. Unbelievable. Alex Smith might be the safest person in the history of mankind. I'm sure he gets wild every now and then, drives 5 over the speed limit, drinks regular Coke instead of Diet, or goes to the airport without his surgical mask on, but not when it comes to the gridiron. No way. I don't know, Alex is fine, I guess. I'd just prefer my $17 million quarterback to come equipped with a pair.
Worst play call of the season - After all of that. Andy Reid dials up an inside screen, needing 35 yards in 19 seconds and no timeouts left. I just ... Wow. That play was actually called. Even if Albert Wilson scampers 30+ yards with the ball, the Chiefs wouldn't have enough time to get set and spike it. The only way that play gains yards and doesn't end the game is if Wilson, who's targeted around the hash mark, running towards the middle of the field, is able to get out of bounds. The best realistic result? An incompletion. Which is what happened. One of the best plays of the possession really. I could probably write a novel on how poorly executed that final drive was, but I think I'm done now.
Worst play calling of the season - 48 passing plays. 13 running plays. (39 pass attempts + five sacks + four Alex scrambles.) With that group of receivers, that offensive line, that quarterback, the best running back in the NFL, and the lead for over 36 minutes in the game. Need I say more?
Best Fullback in the NFL - Anthony Sherman, at least according to PFF. Here are his snap counts over the Chiefs three game losing streak: 12, 9, 14. He's played on only 26 percent of the team's snaps this season. It's not like the Chiefs have this multitude of offensive weapons they need to get on the field. They've been playing Junior Hemingway, AJ Jenkins and Frankie Hammond all God Jam season! All while a legitimate weapon, one that should compliment their style of play, only plays a quarter of the snaps for the season. Daddy, I would like some more Sausage.
Best chance of you hating me - I thought the Travis Kelce fumble call was ruled correctly. Once he fumbles the ball, he needs to regain full possession, just like he would a catch. He never does while hand fighting over it with the Cardinals defender and then it finally pops free. The call could've very easily been ruled inconclusive. But hey, Roger Goodell's puppet agrees with most of you.
Best indicator of NFL challenges - Whatever "NFL rules specialist" Mike Carey says, go with the opposite.
Worst call - The offensive PI on Anthony Fuhgeddabousano. The latest flag throw I may have ever seen changed the entire game. The Chiefs went from a 21-9 lead to a deficit in a handful of plays. All because Larry tripped over someone's Foote.
Best thing to come out of the Chiefs' 2014 season - The Great Double Shtoinker Duo of 2014! The first time in NFL history* a team has been involved in two games consisting of two field goals shtoink'd off the uprights. First, it was Cairo Santos in The Red Wedding of Week 1. And then Frank Costanza yesterday.
Best Smith on the team - Sean. OK, time for a positive. He has had a fantastic season. Currently rated as the fifth best cornerback in the NFL on PFF (his company in the top five: Chris Harris, Darrelle Revis, Vontae Davis and Richard Sherman). I think there's an argument to be made for Sean Smith as team MVP. While Justin Houston and Jamaal Charles have both had "better" seasons, they've come at positions of strength for the Chiefs. Meanwhile, the other cornerback position has been a revolving door and Chris Owens missed considerable time as the nickel corner. Meanwhile, Smith has been the constant. He's always been a guy who's had the talent, but has been wildly inconsistent throughout his career ("He's great when he wants to be"). You almost wonder if the trouble he got in this past offseason, along with his demotion in training camp, helped him get things straightened out and get his priorities in order. He's been that good.
Best players that deserve mentioning in an overwhelmingly negative B&W - Vance Walker (lived in the backfield yesterday), Jaye Howard (solid starter), Albert Wilson (completely took over Avery's role), Jason Avant (making a difference) and Chris Owens (finally healthy again).
Worst running team in the league - Still racked up 141 yards on 33 carries. Why are the Cardinals running it so many more times than the Chiefs, while they were losing most of the game and have the worst rushing attack in the league? No, don't ask Kerwynn Williams. Ask Andy Reid.
Worst defender on the field - Josh Mauga. Stick a fork in him. Whether he's injured, or just worn down, it doesn't really matter. His performance has been horrendous lately. According to PFF, he now leads all NFL inside linebackers in missed tackles with 19 on the season, 11 of those coming in the last four games. We finally got to see Joe Mays on the field and he ... I dunno, helped a little bit? I think the next move is to play JuManJi over Mauga.
Worst situational football - Well coached teams know what to do when specific situations arise during the game. Down and distance football. Bill Belichick lives and breathes this stuff. The Chiefs had two very poor instances of this yesterday:
3rd and 20, AZ 29 yard line, INT: With the Chiefs already in field goal range, Alex Smith has one objective on this play. The one thing he's really really realllllllly good at. Play it safe. No sacks or turnovers. Instead, he throws a 4 yard pass to a TRIPLE COVERED (not even including the interceptor) Albert Wilson. A run was probably the best option on this play. Bad Alex. Bad Andy.
3rd and 18, KC 26 yard line, TD: With the Cardinals already in field goal range, the defense has one objective on this play. The one thing they're really really realllllllly good at. Don't give up the big play. Instead, the Chiefs line Ron Parker up in press coverage (boom, roasted) and drops Kelcie McCray down to the 15 yard line to play a short zone. Why?!? They need to get to the 8! The Chiefs rush four and only have one safety over the top?! ON 3RD AND 18!? Back to back weeks I've been disappointed with HeisenBob.
Best citation ever - This dude basically received a violation for being too good of a fan. I'd put this in one of those plastic ticket holders that goes around your neck and wear it to commemorate the event.
Best game of the final four to lose - This one! It's insane to me that people think this season is over when the Chiefs control their own destiny. If the Chiefs win their final three games, they make the playoffs. It's that simple. And they will be favored in two of the three games! And the other isn't exactly against some juggernaut. The Steelers have lost to both the Jets and the Buccaneers this season.
Here's what's going to happen: The Chiefs will beat the Raiders convincingly at home next week. Then everybody gets a little intrigued about the Steelers game looming. By Red Friday, a good majority will be back on the bandwagon. So take all the time you need Chiefs fans, I'm not giving up on this team for losing on the road to the NFC's No. 1 seed, even if it was in spectacularly dumb fashion.
Chiefs beat themselves 48-13,