The Kansas City Chiefs are off this week, so we will keep the intro short and sweet. Last week, I really showed my dominance to the rest of the NFL pundits, rolling deep with a 13-2 record. Boom.
After getting on a roll, I feel like bragging. In related news, I'll go 6-9 this week. Onto the picks...
Indianapolis Colts (-2.5) at Houston Texans
This is an intriguing game with the two teams atop the AFC South battling it out. Houston's defensive line is going to eat Indianapolis' front alive, but Andrew Luck is a machine. Luck will get the ball out quickly and find open receivers while Ryan Fitzpatrick will locate open cornerbacks.
Pick: Colts 27, Texans 21
New England Patriots (-3) at Buffalo Bills
Another matchup of 3-2 teams leading their division. Buffalo enjoyed a comeback win over Detroit on Sunday, but only because Alex Henery is the worst kicker alive. New England laid an absolute beating on Cincinnati, showing how impressive the Chiefs' win was. This game is always close, but the Patriots will find a way.
Pick: Patriots 24, Bills 19
Carolina Panthers at Cincinnati Bengals (-8.5)
How is this line this high? Cincinnati looked like a deer caught in the headlights of a Mack truck on Sunday night. Does anybody else enjoy the expression on Marvin Lewis during primetime games? It always feels like he just wants to hide. I think the Bengals win this game, but no way are they covering.
Pick: Bengals 23, Panthers 21
Pittsburgh Steelers at Cleveland Browns (-1)
Cleveland might be decent here. The Browns erased a 25-point Tennessee lead last week to enjoy the largest road comeback victory in NFL history. Meanwhile, Pittsburgh has looked atrocious against Jacksonville and Tampa Bay in consecutive weeks. The Browns are getting better, folks.
Pick: Browns 27, Steelers 20
Green Bay Packers (-3) at Miami Dolphins
Miami is a weird team. One week the Dolphins look great against the likes of the New England and Oakland, while other weeks get hammered by the Bills and Chiefs. Green Bay isn't a Super Bowl team, but it is better than Miami. Aaron Rodgers will make enough plays to pull this out on the road.
Pick: Packers 26, Dolphins 24
Detroit Lions (-1.5) at Minnesota Vikings
Detroit is coming off an embarrassing loss at home and needs to rebound. The good news for the Lions? The Vikings are on deck. Minnesota looked absolutely pathetic against Green Bay last week and even with Teddy Bridgewater, I don't expect much better.
Pick: Lions 34, Vikings 20
Denver Broncos (-10) at New York Jets
Vegas could have made this line 25 points, and I still would have gone with Denver to cover. If you have NFL Game Rewind, go back and watch the Jets last week. All kidding aside, Ole Miss would have beaten them. Not to disparage the Chargers, but anybody in the NFL would have shut them out. Meanwhile, Peyton Manning against Antonio Allen and Dee Milliner. Wow.
Pick: Broncos 45, Jets 10
Baltimore Ravens (-3) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Tricky game right here. Baltimore is a good team but coming off a very shaky performance. The Ravens are not without defensive tackle Chris Canty, a key piece for them. Tampa Bay isn't great but is playing much better with Mike Glennon under center. This could be an upset.
Pick: Buccaneers 20, Ravens 17 *PICK OF THE WEEK*
Jacksonville Jaguars (-6) at Tennessee Titans
Does anybody care? I'm still furious with the Titans. How could the Chiefs lose to that team? Tennessee is a bigger disaster than Lindsay Lohan and Courtney Love on a double date with Dennis Rodman and Carrot Top. Please, excuse me while I chug bleach.
Pick: Titans 24, Jaguars 20 (Jacksonville is beyond awful.)
San Diego Chargers (-8) at Oakland Raiders
Another game that the line should have been set around 20 points. I get that Tony Sparano might invigorate the Raiders and the team might rally around him, but who cares? They have absolutely no talent. The Chargers continue their parade through the worst teams in football with a resounding win.
Pick: Chargers 34, Raiders 14
Chicago Bears at Atlanta Falcons (-3)
This is impossible to pick. I'm going with the Bears only because the Falcons have a lousy defense and despite Matt Ryan being excellent in the Georgia Dome. Chicago will get pressure on Ryan with that patchwork Atlanta line and move the ball at will.
Pick: Bears 31, Falcons 27
Washington at Arizona Cardinals (-3.5)
Arizona's quarterback situation is a mess but luckily for the Cardinals, Washington's entire team is a mess. Arizona is playing above its capabilities and I'm sure it is even a playoff team, but this would be an ugly loss. The Cardinals' defense will do enough to win this one.
Pick: Cardinals 17, Washington 13
Dallas Cowboys at Seattle Seahawks (-9.5)
The Seahawks are almost impossible to beat in Seattle. Dallas is playing better than most expected but this is a really tough spot for the Cowboys. DeMarco Murray will need to rush for over 130 yards for Dallas to have any chance. However, it will be a lot of fun watching Richard Sherman face Dez Bryant should the matchup materialize.
Pick: Seahawks 24, Cowboys 20
New York Giants at Philadelphia Eagles (-2.5)
Interesting that Vegas is not giving the Eagles a customary three-point edge for being the home team. The Giants have really looked like a team on the rise over the past three weeks, while Philadelphia has been far from impressive in its last two dates. Still, the Eagles are going to be a tough out at home.
Pick: Eagles 27, Giants 24
San Francisco 49ers (-3) at St. Louis Rams
Quite honestly, this is a simple mismatch. The 49ers are a much better team than the Rams, who don't have much of an offense. San Francisco has a stout defense and will rattle Austin Davis early and often. St. Louis' only hope is to pressure Colin Kaepernick into mistakes.
Pick: 49ers 23, Rams 10
Last Week: 13-2 (10-5 ATS!!!)