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Schpladow!
And with that, an NFL season opening kickoff careening off the goalpost via the right foot of Ryan Succop, a new season (and a new era) begins for the Kansas City Chiefs.
No, that wasn't the 5th preseason contest that you witnessed in all of its glory yesterday, the game actually counted!
Why the Jacksonville Jaguars insisted on playing their backups for 60 minutes, I have no idea (What? No, no, there's no way that is their actual team. Nah, I'm not printing these falsehoods).
Yesterday was a go outside and high-five your neighbor type of day (so long as your neighbor isn't this guy). Of course, once you realized how hot it was, you needed to turn around and go right back inside and watch more football.
Yes, it's a good day to be a Chiefs fan. The first such day in a LONNNNNGGGGGGGGG time. Sitting through 3 hours and 6 minutes of hardcore Chiefs porn is exactly what this fan base needed. Hell, we downright deserve it.
Now lets eat this Poe-Berry sammich...
The Best & Worst with His Dirkness
Best a defense can look - I mean, I understand the Jaguars are battling Blaine Gabbert's Syndrome and all (only known cure: Rick Stanzi), but what more can you ask for from your defense? 49 yards of offense at halftime. Didn't cross midfield until a meaningless drive trickled over the 50 with seven minutes remaining in the beat down. Two INTs. Six sacks. Six points on the board. So how good can this defense be when they aren't playing the Women's JV team of the NFL (I'm not gonna lie guys, it feels absolutely fantastic to write these jokes about a team other than the Chiefs)? We might get our answer next week with Dallas, who should provide a great litmus test (assuming Tony Romo / Dez Bryant are healthy enough to play).
Best gifts left behind by our dear friend, Scott Rigatoni - Justin Houston and Dontari Poe, who were the two best players on the field yesterday. Hungry Hungry Hip Poe single-handedly raises the potential of this defense. Unleashing Houston / Hali around the edge is one thing, but getting that push up the middle adds a whole new element to this defense. If Poe continues at this rate, he will make each of the other 10 defenders on the field better. This can't be stated enough.
So what does this mean for the best defender on the team (a fun little debate in itself, but I'll say Houston)? I think he's a legitimate NFL Defensive Player of the Year candidate this year.
Best performances I didn't expect - Kendrick Lewis and Mike Catapano. Lewis was a man on a mission taking on those feeble Jaguar screen passes in the early going. Here's a guy (slurred in my best drunk John Madden cadence) who has been banged up for what seems like forever, who might actually be healthy now. Meanwhile, the 7th round rookie from Princeton made a living in the Jags' backfield. It could be that Jacksonville's offensive line is BGB (Blaine Gabbert Bad), but Catapano really showed me something yesterday. Even more than Tyson Jackson did.
Best sign we've seen yet to vindicate taking Eric Fisher over Luke Joeckel - Fisher held his own yesterday, while Luke Joeckel got passed around the Puff Puff Pass Rush circle from the left right hand side. He gave up a sack to Houston and it was his missed cut block that led to Tamba's pick-six.
Worst cutaway - From Tamba doing his Brazilian Zamba. Look CBS, Tamba has come a long way to do his thing here in KC. He can dance if he wants to. He left his friends behind.
Best play you may not have noticed - Jamaal Charles lining up wide and catching a slant pass on a LB. And looking very natural doing so. More of this, please.
If Charles can make that type of catch ... that's tough to stop.
— Arrowhead Pride (@ArrowheadPride) September 8, 2013
Worst play made by James-Michael Johnson leading directly to the only two points Jacksonville would score all day- Well damn, I guess I gotta go with the blocked punt. Really painted myself into a corner on that one. Also of note, I thought it was Quinton Caver at first.
Worst play of the preseason - Alex Smith getting clocked by Troy Polamalu with nobody sticking up for him. Look, the preseason doesn't matter, but sticking up for your guy, no matter when that is, does matter. Football is a violent game full of attitude and intimidation. I was furious when nobody went after Polamalu following that cheap shot. I thought it was a sign of weakness. Fast forward to yesterday, when Jamaal took on a little something extra from a Jags defender, and BAM! Branden Albert right there to protect his guy. And on the Jags sideline, of all places! It wouldn't shock me if the coaches said something in the film room after nobody came to Alex's aid in the Pittsburgh game. Or maybe the team was extra fired up after Jaxson the Jaguar tried to take out Donnie, Who Loved Bowling following his TD. Either way, great sign.
Best opportunity gone completely wasted - Chad Henne refusing to catch his own batted ball. Once in a lifetime opportunity, Chaz.
Worst challenge - Jacksonville throwing the red flag on a pass initially ruled an incompletion. Only, the WR dropped the ball before ever hitting the ground. So the only possible overturn would've ruled it as a fumble going to KC. I was on my knees hoping this would happen. And Jacksonville would've retained their timeout! High comedy.
Best Worst QB Debate - Blaine Gabbert vs. Brodie Croyle: Who ya got?
Thanks for reading. Be on the lookout for The Best And Worst every Monday around 5 PM on Arrowhead Pride. Also, be sure to catch Amateur Hour's Chiefs Postgame show (which I am a part of) every Sunday at 6:30 PM. You can listen to last night's right here.
Go Chiefs,