Chiefs vs. Eagles: The best and the worst

Super-three and hooooo!

What to say after a game like that ...

Um, I'm so happy that I can't feel my arms? Yeah, that's a good start.

Sorry, my thoughts are more disorganized than a Chiefs' Hail Mary attempt before halftime right now.

Yo Mars Blackmon, is it the booze? It's gotta be the booze.

What's that? I'm off to a bad start? "A false start on everybody but the writer" ... what's that supposed to mean?

3-0. All that matters.

The Best And Worst w/ His Dirkness

Best thing I will say about this offense - They get the job done when it matters most. My goodness, what a drive to end that game! The Eagles had just cut the lead to 23-16 with a Chip Kelly-patented lightning quick TD. The crowd is rockin'. The Chiefs offense had no running game up to this point whatsoever, and that's not to suggest the passing game was exactly clicking. Oh, and to top all of that off, Dexter McCluster muffs the kickoff so the offense starts at the 5 yard line (Still have no idea why Quintin Demps wasn't back there).

No problem guys, we'll go ahead and win this game right here.

Best play of the game - Alex Smith to Donnie Avery for 16 yards on 3rd and 10 (the fourth such 3rd down conversion from Avery on the night: Thank you, Donnie). Same series. Actually, this was the play that shifted the series out of park and into drive. The pass was a little behind Avery, which actually helped him aide the ball away from the charging safety, Nate Allen. If this play isn't made right here, you're putting a tired defense back on the field ordered to stop a high octane offense with all the momentum, who only needs one score to inexplicably tie the game. Instead? 15 plays, 75 yards, 8:15 off the clock, and a game-sealing 38 yard field goal. That's a grown man's drive.

Best question - How are the Chiefs able to run the ball on these final drives, but can't for the first 3.5 quarters? I...I don't even have an answer. Would love to heart some theories on this.

Best definition of a "game manager" - Alex Smith. Sorry to bring the most overused cliche in the National Football League (<--- that's another) into the discussion, but I believe Smith is actually the type of QB this term applies to. Look, you can say what you want about Smith ("Throw the damn ball, Alex" tends to be my favorite), but he's not gonna throw INT's. It has been etched in to his DNA to dink and dunk all game long, neglect star WR's who predicted they'd lead the NFL in receiving yards, take sacks, etc. But ... THE FIRST RULE OF ALEX SMITH IS - HE DOES NOT THROW INTERCEPTIONS.

Worst thing about previous paragraph - What are you supposed to say about Alex when he actually does throw an INT?

Best microcosm of Andy Reid's career - We ran the gamut of emotions all in one night. The maddening lack of rushing attempts for the team's best player. Some questionable clock management before halftime (Alex needed to sneak it for the 4th and 1 conversion, then quickly spike it for a FG attempt). Lots of short-term headaches, but undeniable success in the long term is the story of Andy Reid's career. Actually, I can't decide if this is a bigger trademark of Andy Reid or Gary Pinkel. Lets just call it the Gandy Reinkel.

Best butt trio - First, there was the Butt Fumble. Then the Butt Slide. And now ... The Butt Snap! Big thanks to Travis Kelce's bro.

Worst game of every week - Thursday Night Football. This wasn't quite Jets / Patriots bad, but neither team, especially the offenses, were very sharp. And a lot of the Chiefs fans I watched the game with (via Twitter) were upset about how ugly the Chiefs played.

Uhh... this isn't the preseason, where looking good is what matters most. This ain't Sydney Deane's house. This is an NFL road game on a Thursday night. This is Billy Hoyle's house: Win first, look good second.

Worst 4.5 sack performance of the season - Justin Houston. Calm down, I realize I'm being oxymoronic. Houston played fantastic and would be the NFL's Defensive Player of the Year if the season ended right now. But lets just say he was fortunate, as he (literally) just fell into a couple of those sacks.

Best play not receiving enough credit - Derrick Johnson's pass breakup leading directly to Uric Burry's pick-six. It was DJ's jump on the ball and near-INT of his own (how many times you heard that one?), before Berry right-place-right-time'd it to the house. Both these dudes played their asses off Thursday night. And so did Tyson Jackson.

Best "Pay Branden Albert" argument to date - Eric Fisher's performance on Thursday night. My man, Fish Blockos was awful. Just dreadful. I'm nowhere near ready to label him a bust yet, because OL tend to take a few years to develop, but I might be ready to claim that he wasn't the best player in this past Draft class (to be fair, I was skeptical of that before he took his first snap).

Best play design - The two 3rd and long conversions to Donnie, Who Loved Bowling. It was essentially a downfield screen pass, with the other eligible receivers acting as the lead blockers. I remember seeing this play from the 49ers last season (gotta wonder if Alex played a role in bringing it here) and was blown away by its effectiveness. Play design at its finest.

Best Chiefs diss - "And (the Bears are) able to pass for more than 10 yards." - Barack Obama. No, really.

Best way to move on from the worst season in franchise history - Surpass that win total by Week 3 the next season. I thought this would be a record for sure, but somehow five (5!) other teams have started out 3-0 after losing 14 or more the previous season. That's shocking to me. Also of note, none of those five teams made the playoffs.

Best schedule in NFL history? - 2013 Chiefs. Here it is. Look at it. Salivate on it. Who are you scared of on that slate outside of Denver? Houston, at home, maybe? Chargers on the road? The Colts? I can already hear every NFL analyst in December, "Sure, the Chiefs are 9-4 but who have they beaten?" And I can't say I'll disagree (unless they can take 2 of 3 from Houston + Denver twice).

Best headline - Chiefs win a dogfight. Heh.

Best team in the NFL - Kansas City Chiefs. I don't see anyone else sitting at 3-0, do you?

Amateur Hour Postgame Show

Amateur Hour Primetime w/ Nick Wright

I'm gonna party like it's my birthday tonight,

His Dirkness