First of all, let me tell all the Kansas City Chiefs fans on here congratulations.
It's cute you guys have a 9-0 team. Sure, they should be 1-8, but somehow the Chiefs have managed to win games without Peyton Manning as their quarterback. Oh man, Peyton Manning. Excuse me while I kneel before my shrine of him.
So, now that I'm done praying to Manning, I see our teams meet at Mile High next Sunday. I look forward to being 9-1 and in first place of the AFC West by the end. Hell, the NFL will probably call the game after the first quarter to spare Kansas City the shame and embarrassment. I figure it will only take 15 minutes before Manning has thrown for 687 yards and eight touchdowns.
Now, I know what you're thinking. You can score on our defense. I have one word for you: Yeah right. You guys have to give us credit, despite playing at the age of 84, Champ Baliey is still the best cornerback ever when on the field. Sure, he's only out there once or twice a game before his hip gives way, but damnit he's in there.
How about our guy Von Miller? Sure, he's got some off the field issues, but who doesn't? He's just trying to impress the front office and act like them. It's all about consistency here in Denver. Now that he is back on the field, our defense will become the best of all-time. In all likelihood, Miller will sack Alex Smith at minimum 12 times in the first quarter.
Wait a minute, I've gone two paragraphs without talking about Manning. Sorry Peyton! Please don't leave me, ever. If you do, we are stuck with Brock Osweiler. Even us Broncos fans can't talk ourselves into thinking you're decent.
I'll give the Chiefs this much: You guys have a few players who might make the Broncos practice squad. Take Eric Berry for example. He tries hard and stuff. No way does he start ahead of Rahim Moore, but then again who does? The guy is going to the Hall of Fame on the first ballot. Some say, what about that Baltimore game? What game? All the tapes have been destroyed here, but the local media told us we won the Super Bowl.
Wish we could have seen it...
Back to Manning. Your secondary has no chance on Nov. 17. We are going to roll out the trio of Wes Welker, Demaryius Thomas and Eric Decker. That is like having Jerry Rice, Randy Moss and Calvin Johnson on the same team. Don't forget about Julius Thomas. He makes Tony Gonzalez look like a scrub.
I would be remiss if I didn't include our leader, the best their ever was, Mr. John Elway in this conversation. Hello there John!
Like I said, good luck Kansas City. I almost feel bad for you. It is going to be tough, watching your beloved Chiefs getting kicked all over the field for 15 minutes before Roger Goodell steps in, stops the game, and awards us the Vince Lombardi trophy on the spot.
I love you Peyton Manning. Amen.