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Texans vs. Chiefs: The best and the worst

His Dirkness recaps the Chiefs 17-16 victory over the Texans with the best and worst moments of the week.

Jamie Squire

Best - Kansas City Chiefs

We da besssssssssssssssst!

(Considers ending the article right here)

...OK, I'll go on. But only because the Chiefs are 7-0. And nobody beats 'em.

It's all so surreal to me still. How did we get here? And how did it happen so fast?

I don't want to rattle off all the gruesome details of where this franchise was only 12 months ago (I'll just leave it at the fact the team still hadn't held a lead by this time last season). But just think about it for a Kansas City second. I mean, really put it in your brain and focus on how far this team has come.

What your feeling right now is pride. Arrowhead Pride (pay up, Joel).

These types of seasons are rare. So enjoy the ride.

We are only at the beginning of something special here. And I might say this every week from here on out, because I believe it that strongly (and after the last few seasons so should you), but these types of seasons are rare. So enjoy the ride.

Go out to Arrowhead Stadium. Scream until your face falls off. Watch that extra three hours of football on Sunday so you know the defensive tendencies of the Cleveland Browns. Wear red all over town. Hell, turn Red Friday into Red Everyday. Give your Broncos fan cousin shit. Smile.


Because if you are a fan of the 7-0 Chiefs, you're up a touchdown on life right now.

And we love playing with the lead.

The Best & Worst w/ His Dirkness

Best entrance of all timeAndy Reid. I can't stop watching this. The pure joy. The unbridled elation. The rotund giddiness! I'm heavily considering tattooing this GIF on the inside of my eyelids. Just know that Cosmo Kramer is jealous of that entrance. So is the nWo. And the Kool-Aid Man, too? Ohhhhh yeahhhh! Did I just link the same basic video three different times? Yes, yes I did. It was that good.


via @SBNation

Worst half of football in 2013 - Chiefs defense, first half. The Texans had Sutton Death back on its heels a bit over the first 30 minutes on Sunday, which is understandable given the circumstances. They had no tape on Case Keenum whatsoever, and on top of that, the Texans completely altered their offense for just this game (from under center, bootleg reliant to the Pistol). The Chiefense had little reason to think that drastic of a change was coming, and it proved costly with the resilient Texans racking up six passing plays over 26 yards on the day.

Best time to regroup - Halftime. Give the coaches a chance to see what the opposing offense was doing, make their adjustments, and all of a Sutton, it's a different defense out there. Texans second half stats: 79 total yards (-1 in the 4th quarter), nine yards rushing, four first downs, 0-6 on 3rd down, sacked five times.

Best half of football in 2013 - Chiefs offense, first half. Really the story of the game for me. To have your defense, which has carried you throughout this season thus far, play their worst half of football and yet still maintain a lead going into the locker room was huge. I'm talking like, Kim Kardashian junk in the trunk huge. Well, maybe not quite that big. Butt big. They even got the ball to Dwayne Bowe, who Alex targeted with his first four passes of the game (a little strategy I like to call the Chad Hall Treatment).

Best game of his career - Dexter McCluster. Don't believe me? Just ask Dex.

It's been years, but D=Mc² finally seems comfortable in his role with the team. Or maybe it's the fans who finally seem comfortable with Dex's role on the team. He's become a legitimate threat as a punt returner. And he picked up a 3rd and 21 (Bowe with the double pancake on the play) on a play that could've nearly converted on 3rd and 48. Ha, the Raiders still suck.

Best game of his career, Vol. 2 - Eric Fisher. Look, the bar wasn't exactly set very high on this one (I'm mostly basing this off not writing "Fisher sucks" a single time in my game notes), but he held his own out there against a stout front seven that includes the best DL in the world. As a whole, I thought the OL played the best they have all season, which is great news moving forward.

Best player who didn't play the best game of his career but still rules - Jamaal Charles. You deserve all of the Escalades, my man. And the Bentleys. And Impalas. And even a few Le Barons!

Best Tw-interaction - This back and forth between Jamaal Charles and Brian Cushing. I love seeing things like this. Especially when the Chiefs are 7-0.

Worst Andy Reid impersonation - Andy Reid. We all heard the horror stories before hiring him, but have yet to see those issues manifest themselves on this magical 2013 season. Until yesterday. Final drive, Texans out of timeouts, clock tick-ticking away. Run the ball three times, pin the Texans inside the 20 with 1:10 left and no timeouts, and make Case Keenum beat you. I understand that a completion ends the game at that point, but 40 seconds is much too valuable to risk. With this defense, I don't care if Donkeyface Dorkbutt Manning is your QB, you run the ball in that situation. And Andy threw it twice in a row! First time I've really gotten angry at him this season.

OK, I forgive you, Andy.


Best ratio - 31 teams have started an NFL season 7-0 or better. All 31 made the playoffs.

Best unintentional comedy - On Sunday night, ESPN analysts broke down the Alex Smith TD run as if it was some kind of revolutionary step in the read-option offense. Yes, the play where Jamaal Charles ran the wrong way (he admitted so after the game). PS: the look on Alex's face from the end zone camera on this play was priceless.

Worst play - Alex Smith bungling the 4th and goal on so many levels. He had Do-Re-Mi Fa-Sa-No wide open in the back of the end zone. Or he probably could've hit General Sherman in the flat right away for the score. Instead, he tried to run, got cut off, then saw McBeard pop open and just threw a bad pass. Going for it was still the right call.

Best effort all for naught - Sean McBeard on the previously mentioned play. Anybody else notice he caught that pass one handed, and was approximately three inches away from the catch of the year?

Best play in football - QBs catching their own pass. And it's already happened twice in Chiefs games this year (Fitzpatrick the other)! Talk about a magical season.

Best National Defense strategy - Stay one point ahead of Texas at all times. Just like the Chiefs. 17-16 over Cowboys. 17-16 over Texans.

Best closer in Kansas City - Step aside, Greg Holland. It's Muhammad Hali who has taken over the last two games come 4th quarter. Case Keenum on a potential game winning drive? ...Finish him. Sack-Strip Fatality.

Best part of Sunday - Denver losing. I cannot wait for Chiefs-Broncos. It's going to be a clash of epic proportions. I can't remember the last football game I looked forward to this much. In the meantime, Sundays are amplified even more with two teams to root your heart out for, the Chiefs and the Broncos' opponent. After all, the Chiefs could finish with the second best record in the entire NFL, but if they finish behind Denver in the AFC West, they're staring at three playoff games on the road to reach The Promised Land. A very tall task indeed.

This is so much fun.

Football, baby. Football.

Amateur Hour Postgame Show from last night

Don't miss Chiefs/Texans recap with Houston's own Nick Wright on Tuesday night at 8PM on

His Dirkness

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