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The Kansas City Chiefs And The Battle For Sanity

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Since the NFL Draft, there has been much speculation on whether or not the Kansas City Chiefs tried to trade Dwayne Bowe. Never mind the fact that he's not under contract and legally can't be dealt, that would take all the fun out of it. Surprisingly, many have said that it would be wise for Kansas City to trade its 27-year-old star.

The amazing thing is some have actually rationalized the idea as being a solid ploy because the Chiefs just drafted Junior Hemingway and Devon Wylie. They can't possibly become anything less than solid contributors as a seventh round pick and fourth-rounder who has constant injury problems right?

Plus, Jonathan Baldwin is a talented young player who could step in once Bowe is dealt and emerge as a top receiver. He made 21 catches last year, it's his time.

This is complete and utter lunacy.

Let me give an example: You're dating a really attractive girl. She's everything you could ever ask for, but like everyone has minor flaws not unlike yourself. However, you're not satisfied.

So you leave her because you have a 400-pound girl waiting in the wings. Sure, she needs some serious plastic surgery and to drop 250 pounds before she fits through a door jam without the aid of Crisco, but she might someday be almost as hot as your current girlfriend.

Now, why in the world would you do that? It's the old grass is greener on the other side bit. Except, it usually isn't. Trading Bowe would be insane considering the unproven quantities behind him. It's even more crazy considering Kansas City has ample cap space and can franchise tag him for the next two seasons.

The team is finally ready to compete, but hey, grab the Crisco and push baby!

Here are a few more examples of this that just make me run for Advil:

Current girlfriend: Glenn Dorsey

400 Pound Girl: Jerome Long

It's amazing how many people have said it would be wise to trade Dorsey for a pick because we now have Jerome Long on the team. This again reeks of thinking that draft picks become automatic starters.

Is Dorsey a top-notch player? Absolutely not. Is he very good at stopping the run? Yes. So Scott Pioli should deal Dorsey or let his contract expire so Long can play? From every report available, Long is lucky to make the team let alone contribute. Build depth at this point through the draft, not a revamped starting lineup.

Quick fun fact: In the sixth and seventh rounds, only 10 percent of players drafted become starters. Don't let that stop the masses though from pining for Long and his immense amount of untapped ability.

Current girlfriend: Branden Albert

400 Pound Girl: David Mims

Albert has been a solid left tackle his entire career for the Chiefs, but with his contract running out after this season many have been ready to let him walk. Why? We have Mims, that's why.

He may have never seen a down or flashed even an ounce of legitimate potential, but how can you turn a blind eye to the complete unknown?

Mims might be an unmitigated disaster but come on, what are you soft? Kansas City has to show some guts and put him in, roll the dice and hope he's better than Albert. Then we're saving money and really cooking with gas.

Current Girlfriend: Matt Cassel

400 Pound Girl: Brady Quinn and Ricky Stanzi (800 pounds in this case, grab an extra jug of Crisco)

This might be my favorite. While I'm not saying that Cassel is a very good quarterback, I am saying he's been the starting quarterback on two teams that went 11-5 and 10-6, including an AFC West championship. People can say what they wish, but he's accomplished a lot more than Brady Quinn has and most likely will.

However, that doesn't stop folks from screaming on the rooftops for Quinn to replace Cassel. Forget the fact that Quinn hasn't been able to beat out Derek Anderson or make any kind of an impact in the NFL, that's irrelevant. Just look at how he played in college five years ago, that has to mean he's a better player at this stage.

Let's not overlook Ricky Stanzi either. We're talking about a guy who hasn't even sniffed an NFL field because he couldn't beat out the immortal Tyler Palko, but that's not an indication of current ability. The Chiefs were fine with throwing games down the stretch, watching Palko throw the ball into the waiting arms of four defenders.

Stanzi is a clear upgrade over Cassel because he was slightly above-average in college and those third-team training camp reps will come in handy. Kansas City is ready to win now, and without Stanzi's proven ability to win a game we're screwed. Where's Brodie Croyle in our time of great need?

It's impossible to blame anyone for wanting a new quarterback to lead this talented time. It's equally impossible not to blame someone yelling that Quinn or Stanzi would be a definite upgrade.

Somebody run to the supermarket, we're all out of Crisco.

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