What a disaster!
I don't know about you guys, but I expect better when I tune into the National Football League. This is supposed to be the premier sports league on the face of this Earth, and this was the product on display? Didn't get a single thing right all day!
I am, of course, speaking about the catastrophe that was the…
Worst announcer of all time - Randy Cross. This guy went on a 300-second rant about windows and portals (and I think maybe even car periscopes) all due to Jerheme freakin' Urban letting a pass go directly through his hands. He couldn't blame Matt Cassel enough for his best pass of the day. Then he praised Cassel for heaving the ball into double coverage, while he criticized Dwayne Bowe for winning that double team with his body alone, but letting the ball slip just off his fingertips on what would've been a spectacular individual effort. Not to mention, how thoroughly he aced the Matthew Stafford oral exam. And yes, the rumors of me taking out my frustrations on Cross via Twitter are prevalent, but 100 percent false!
I might have to consider changing the name of my weekly article from here on out, but for now, it sticks! Lets do this…
Chiefs v. Lions: The Best and the Worst:
Best explanation for what has gone wrong - Todd Haley has lost this team. Somehow, someway it has happened. The thing is, if you go back just a short time ago to Week 16 of last season, that statement would be 100% inaccurate. With the lack of contact during the NFL Lockout, this leads me to believe that it was a specific event that led to this unfortunate reality, as opposed to it occurring gradually over time. As far as I know, there have been two major incidents that could be the culprit to what we are now seeing (I usually stick to the bulletpoints, but have a lot of thoughts to get out here, so I'll break this into paragraphs):
1. Charlie Weis leaves and goes to Florida. The timing of this announcement (two days before the home finale against Oakland) goes hand-in-hand with the direct 180 this franchise took at the end of the 2010 season. The reasoning of this divorce is unclear to me, but all signs seem to point to a feud between Todd Haley and Rascal Weis. Was Rascal Flatts the true architect of the Kansas City Chiefs offensive renaissance? Did the players know it? Was the dispute a public one, and if so, did the players side with Weis on the matter? These are questions that need answering Todd, and if you feel like delivering company lines, then get out.
2. The Jonathan Baldwin mystery fight. We are led to believe that team leader (oxymoron) Thomas Jones put the young rookie in place with a scuffle in the locker room, and nothing more. Or is there? Isn't Thomas Jones the most likely candidate to take a fall for something much, much bigger? I'm not a huge speculation guy, but in times like these, I take all instances into consideration, no matter how extreme. We don't, and probably never will, know the details of this skirmish, but the fact is that turmoil has run rampant through the organization from this point forward. And now Yahoo! Sports is reporting that Haley and Scott Pioli don't get along at all? How? I watched these two yuck it up all season long last year. What has happened since then? I need answers! Serenity now! End rant.
Worst part of the first half of this article - The heavyheartedness. This isn't typical of my style, but I'm beyond the point of reconciliation right now. And I don't feel like this team deserves anything more then that.
Worst choice of apparel - Todd Haley wearing a women's sweater. Ah, that's better.
Best excuse for why Jerheme Urban is on this team - Affirmative action. Much, much better.
Worst officiated drive ever - The Detroit Lions opening drive. First off, I don't understand how Jon McGraw wasn't ruled down on his interception. He was forced to the ground by a defender. I guess it came after he actually had the football but is that actually the rule? Then there's a tiny ruckus that breaks out, which always leads to offsetting personal foul calls. Only this time it leads to two personal foul calls, both on the Chiefs. Then the refs ignored an obvious hold on Tamba Hali, and countered that by calling a super weak roughing the passer on Glenn Dorsey because Stafford flailed on the ground like a four year old throwing a tantrum (the age limit for a dude continuing to go by Matthew, by the way). The Chiefs officially have no friends around the league, within the league office, or with the almighty Football Gods.
Worst inevitable occurrence - Jamaal Charles's injury. You could see it coming before this season. You could see it coming before this game. You could see it coming before that play.
Worst time for a new contract - Brandon Flowers, this week. That may have been the worst performance out of B-Flow that I can remember. And you might expect that having to take on Calvin Johnson the whole game, only it wasn't Megadeath doing the damage. It was Nate Burleson. And Titus Young. And Tony freakin' Scheffler. The Chiefs needed to retain one of their better players, but Flowers is off to an atrocious start to the 2011 season. Oh, and…
Worst time for a celebration - Brandon Flowers after a Calvin Johnson drop. Losing 20-3 and doing absolutely nothing on a play is not a cause for celebration B. It also didn't help that you got toasted on the very next play.
Worst player in the NFL - Jon McGraw. Move over Sabby Piscitelli, there's a new sheriff in town, and it's my least favorite Chief this side of Crodie Broyle. I can't even stand to look at McGraw anymore. I refuse to cheer for him. He's worse at football than McG is at directing films.
Worst excuse made for Matt Cassel - The offensive line. My biggest fear heading into the season actually hasn't been half bad. Branden Albert has been the best player on the team to this point of the season. Ndamukong Suh was a non-factor (the shocker of all shockers). They paved the way for huge lanes in the running game, and gave Cassel adequate time in the pocket, especially against a defensive line as fearsome as the Lions. However, I'm not sure anybody is even making this excuse, as the Cassel apologists may have packed up and left town.
Worst Arrowhead Pride hire - This guy. I'm big into superstitions. I went through KU's entire 2008 National Championship run without showering once (you're welcome Jayhawk Nation - still waiting on my ring). I don't shave on winning streaks. Nor do I change seats. I prefer the same group of friends to watch the game. Now I feel like everything this season has touched has been tainted. I sat in different seats at Arrowhead for Week one. I watched the game at a different friends house for Week two. I've worn my Tamba Hali jersey for precisely two days, and those just happened to be the worst two days in the franchise's history. I'm the type of fan that feels a personal responsibility for changing something up, and seeing that lead to a negative result out of my team. How can I come back to any of this? I hope I'm still around here next week, but who knows at this point.
Best plan to help you move on - Selecting an NFL adopt-a-team. You can call it fair-weather if you want (although I would never abandon the Chiefs), but I need a reason for this NFL season to matter. So my new team for the remainder of 2011 is the Buffalo Bills. Big game next week baby…
Look at that, I made it through an entire Chiefs article without mentioning Andrew Luck once. However, after next week's debacle, expect a reassessment of expectations, most of which will include the prospects of drafting Luck.