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Ramblings Of An Idiot: Karn Evil 9

Happy Tuesday boys and girls. It's been a tumultuous early week for the Chiefs. After yet another blowout Sunday, in which Tyler Palko proved beyond doubt that he isn't even close to being half the quarterback that Matt Cassel has been, Scott Pioli and Clark Hunt handed Todd Haley his well faded, torn-up, and sweat stained hat, along with his walking papers and a fresh set of Mach 3 blades for the job hunt preparations.

***QUICK, Everyone jump to the conclusion that I'm somehow defending Cassel as the quarterback of the future with the first half of that extended sentence.

The Chiefs are now without a long term head coach as well as being short in the offensive coordinator position. Romeo Crennel will step into the role of interim head coach and continue to call the defense for the remaining three games of the season. As of Monday, the Chiefs playoffs hopes are now bound as directly to Denver's actions as their own. If the Chiefs lose another game, they're out. If Denver wins another game, the Chiefs are out. We have reached the end of playoff rope. It's a brittle rope with frayed ends that have twisted themselves apart, leaving the Chiefs hanging by naught but a thread.

***Sorry Mr. Muir, but you can read the writing on the wall can't you? You might be lucky enough to remain the line coach in 2012; but after the performance of the truly 'offensive' line in the last few weeks, even that isn't a sure bet.

It's officially time to start the discussion about off season moves for coaching positions, draft picks, and free agents. I can't think of a better summary of both our season, and the off season to come, than was sung by Emerson, Lake & Palmer. You young-in's might need to fire up your You Tube fingers if the melodious notes of carnival barker style lyrics don't immediately jump into your head.

Early this season we began to see rumored reports mysterious leaks coming out of Arrowhead. They suggested that Pioli was prepared to fire Haley if he lost the game leading into the buy week.The first few lines of this KL&P tune tell the story of not only the Chiefs coaches, but also the suffering players. As always in the NFL, the carnival barker tells us that it's a show we don't want to miss. And as always, there are going to be fans that not only revel in watching the demise, but cheer it on.

Cold and misty morning, I heard a warning borne in the air
About an age of power where no one had an hour to spare,
Where the seeds have withered, silent children shivered, in the cold
Now their faces captured in the lenses of the jackals for gold.
I'll be there
I'll be there
I will be there.

Suffering in silence, they've all been betrayed.
They hurt them and they beat them, in a terrible way,
Praying for survival at the end of the day.
There is no compassion for those who stay.
I'll be there
I'll be there
I will be there.

And now Romeo Crennel and Kyle Orton step in to begin their shot at redemption. That redemption isn't going to come in 2012. Try as they might, this season is going to end in sorrow. Before it's all said and done, I expect Orton will be gone in in 2012 and Crennel will be replaced as head coach.

There must be someone who can set them free:
To take their sorrow from this odyssey
To help the helpless and the refugee
To protect what's left of humanity.
Can't you see
Can't you see
Can't you see.

I'll be there
I'll be there
I will be there;
To heal their sorrow
To beg and borrow
Fight tomorrow.

And then comes the hiring season for new coaches, the draft, free agency and training camps. We all know what's coming along with those changes, the push to 'sell' the fans the hopes and dreams for the next season (along with some jerseys, hats, and season tickets)

Step inside! Hello! We've the most amazing show
You'll enjoy it all we know
Step inside! Step Inside!

We've got thrills and shocks, supersonic fighting cocks.
(young, viral, overhyped draft picks fighting for draft position)
Leave your hammers at the box (BELIEVE in the hype. Don't kill the spectacle with logic)
Come Inside! Come Inside!
Roll up! Roll up! Roll up!
See the show!

Left behind the bars, rows of Bishops' heads in jars
(tattered remnants of the careers of players cut from the teams)
and a bomb inside a car (explosive, polarizing, illegal antics of players doing stupid things in the off season)
Spectacular! Spectacular!

If you follow me there's a speciality
some tears for you to see
Misery, misery,
(fired head coaches, replaced general managers, and dumped coordinators)
Roll up! Roll up! Roll up!
See the show!

Next upon the bill in our House of Vaudeville
We've a stripper in a till
(the inevitable hiring of high dollar free agents assured to res-'erect' their new teams)
What a thrill! What a thrill!
And not content with that, with our hands behind our backs,
We pull Jesus from a hat,
(unknown late round/undrafted players that fans are convinced are the second coming)
Get into that! Get into that!
Roll up! Roll up! Roll up!
See the show!

Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends
We're so glad you could attend
Come inside! Come inside!
There behind a glass is a real blade of grass
(convincing the fans that training camp success is real)
be careful as you pass.
Move along! Move along!

And then it's time to start selling the tickers for the 2012 season. The carnival freak show barker starts the advertising anew for another year.

Come inside, the show's about to start
guaranteed to blow your head apart
Rest assured you'll get your money's worth
The greatest show in Heaven, Hell or Earth.
You've got to see the show, it's a dynamo.
You've got to see the show, it's rock and roll ....

Right before your eyes we pull laughter from the skies
And he laughs until he cries then he dies then he dies
(teams begin to emerge and fool us, then crash and burn)
Come inside the shows about to start
Guaranteed to blow your head apart

You gotta see the show
It's a dynamo
You gotta see the show
It's rock and roll

Soon the Gypsy Queen in a glaze of Vaseline
Will perform on guillotine
(the sexy, alluring, hyped draft picks make the inevitable stupid rookie mistakes)
What a scene! What a scene!
Next upon the stand will you please extend a hand
to Alexander's Ragtime Band
Roll up! Roll up! Roll up!
See the show!

Performing on a stool we've a sight to make you drool
(the stool is the pillar fans put players onto)
Seven virgins and a mule (green rookie players and replacement QB vets taking over starting jobs mid season)
Keep it cool. Keep it cool.
We would like it to be known the exhibits that were shown
were exclusively our own,
(The obligatory legal speak. Property of the NFL, not for rebroadcast! NFL network exclusive)
All our own. All our own.
Come and see the show! Come and see the show! Come and see the show!
See the show!

Obviously, that comparison is a bit tongue in cheek. I'm just as entranced by the year round football discussion as everyone else, but the last few years have started to get out of control. The barker never stops talking up the show, even when there's no show to see. However, if I didn't love the discussion I wouldn't hang out on AP, so let's get it started with your list. Tell me who or what you think should fill the voids, and why.

1) Head Coach: I'm looking for a defensive minded coach. I'm good with Crennel, but I'd be ok with Crennel dropping back to DC too. Just say no to Josh McDaniels.

2) Offensive Coordinator: YES! We need one, and a strong one too. Muir is not the answer, but a freshly fired Norv Turner is DEFINITELY not the answer.

3) Defensive Coordinator: Keep Romeo if he isn't the new head coach. If Romeo stays on as head coach let him call the defense and pick his guy that will expand on the system, but not try to put in a new one.

4) Quarterback: Take a chance on a first or second rounder. It's time, 1983 was so long ago. And fire Palko and Orton. Cassel can start while the Rookie and Stanzi learn behind them. Yes, this means another season with no viable experienced back up. I'm ok with that if it means taking a high round quarterback. If Cassel plays badly the first 4 games, get one of the rookie in there for game experience. It's time to get a new era started.

5) Offensive line: Don't mess with Albert. Leave him be, and bring in a right tackle. Use Mims if we have to, but get rid of Richardson.

6) Defensive Line: Trade Dorsey if we can get good value. His run stopping is good, but he's just not right for the 3-4 DE. Also, Powe on the field more in 2012. Test him or dump him.

7) Strategy: Keep on keeping on. Other than needing to take a shot at quarterback, I'm happy with the system of taking young players and developing them on our own to build roster depth. It takes time to build a team the way we're doing it, but it's the right way to go. A spattering of veteran free agents is fine, but all out spending sprees on declining players has never worked, and never will.

I showed you mine. Now you show me yours. 1-7 in the responses, right after you tell me I'm an idiot.


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