Chargers Vs. Chiefs: The Best And The Worst

Oy. I know I can't be the only person in Kansas City feeling this way today -- pounding headache, burning throat, pure lethargy.

Oh, and a big, fat, first place smile on my face, bay-bee!

 

The magic returned in full force to Arrowhead Stadium last night. I'm still not even sure exactly what happened. My body went into a state of shock as Philip Rivers gagged the snap, and I found myself reaction-less for a good 15 seconds. What did I just see? Did we get the ball? How could this happen? Why are there fireworks going off?

 

That's magic baby. It can't be explained, but it does exist, and you know it when you see it. And last night? Definitely magical. Lets break it all down...

 

But first, a tale…

 

Worst way to lose your Chiefs rally towel - The following events are all true. Because he's too cheap and he didn't want to pay $8.50 for a beer inside the stadium, the guy next to me illegally brought a flask into the game filled it with some of his very own magic. So the guy hands it to the girl he's hitting on sitting next to and she takes a swig. No big deal right? Only when he gets it back I can't help but notice the flask has become all wet and slimy. So I look at his hands to confirm the nightmarish scenarios racing through my mind and BAM - puke. I'm now looking at a flask covered in vomit, peering inside wondering what unknowns are now mingling with our good friend Jameson. On the bright side, it was a great night for the Chiefs to hand out rally towels puke rags (which I was twirling harder than anybody I'll have you know!).

 

Now lets celebrate...

The Best and Worst w/ His Dirkness

 

Best sport on God's green earth - The NFL. Where else can you find a roller coaster ride of this caliber (speaking of both the season and this game)? Worlds of Fun doesn't make them this topsy-turvy. Sitting at 0-3 with their best two players out for the season, I'm not sure the Chiefs season could've been more finished. And to respond with four straight wins? Simply amazing. As was the story with this game, the Chargers only needed to take a few snaps (uh-oh) and settle for a 30 yard field goal to win. And that Rivers fumble (big time credit goes to Kelly Gregg, who's upfield push prevented Rivers from scooping the ball up immediately) was just one of the many loop-de-loops on the night. I just sit back and tip my cap to the NFL for spoiling us with a product this enjoyable. And I'm not sure you can say any one team has provided more drama and entertainment in 2011 than the Kansas City Chiefs.

 

Best Chiefs game I've ever been to? Nope, not quite. 1. 2010 vs. San Diego Chargers (I'm a big bad weather guy). 2. 2004 vs. Denver Broncos (Dante Hall's return was the most memorable play I've seen in person). 3. 2011 vs. San Diego Chargers (more twists and turns than any game I can remember).

 

Worst argument you'll hear today - The Chiefs are only beating teams who aren't good or have tons of injuries. I've been hearing this for the last 23 games now, and I couldn't be more sick of it. Do these people think other teams are beating playoff teams every week? Yes, the Vikings and Colts are bad. And yes, we caught the Raiders and the Chargers at a good time personnel wise. But I don't think any team has suffered like the Chiefs when it comes to injuries, so why would I care about other teams' inconveniences? This is a weak attempt at diminishing this winning streak, when it should be anything but. What this Chiefs team is doing right now is special.

 

Best Halloween tradition - Ryan Succop hitting a game winning field goal, which has now happened two years in a row. Keep an eye on him on Wednesday night, October 31, 2012 -- he might win Bingo.

 

Best Halloween costume - Todd Haley as a hobo. Wait, that's not a costume? There's actually an NFL head coach that looks like that? No way. I couldn't be prouder to have the most unprofessional head coach in the NFL strutting Kansas City's sidelines. I said it last week and I'll say it again, Haley's got homeless man's swag.

 

Best math lesson (for the kids) - Beards > Everything.

 

Best case of déjà-vu - How similar was this year's game to last year's season opener? Monday Night Football. Chiefs race out to a first half lead. Chargers outplay the Chiefs through a majority of the game. Chargers seem to finally catch up, but can't stop tripping over their own feet. Chiefs win it on the last play. Arrowhead chants from your seat to your car.

 

Worst plays in NFL history - The Chiefs two offensive plays before kicking a field goal at the end of the first half. They literally resembled a middle school team at that point and time. Couldn't decide whether to pursue points, plays coming in late, WR's lining up incorrectly, barely avoiding delay of game penalties. Luckily, Icy Matt Cassel kept his composure and wisely threw the ball away on consecutive plays, saving the field goal.

 

Best video clip unveiling - Matt Cassel recovering an onside kick at USC. First, the Andy Reid punt, pass and kick video (favorite Youtube video of all time), and now this.

 

Best player on the biggest drive of the game - Jackie Battle. The Chargers had bolted the lead down to 13-12, and the Chiefs had no first downs in their prior three drives. Another three and out and the Chargers seemed poised to take control of the game. Out of nowhere, Battle comes alive with runs of 7, 11, 5, and 18 yards before punching it in from one yard out. He is a legitimate physical running back that gets better as the game wears on, and I'm not sure anybody symbolize the comeback of this team better than Jackie 'don't call me Bates' Battle.

 

Best case for controversy - San Diego's two point conversion. Not because Curtis Brinkley didn't break the plane (he did, ever so slightly, which is all it takes), but he didn't keep control of the ball all the way through his catch. I didn't hear one single mention of this, but check your DVR's. You can see the ball on the ground once he rolls over.

 

Worst case of déjà-vu - Matt Cassel throwing a horrific interception to lose the game against the Chargers. It happened in A Whale's Vagina San Diego and it almost happened again last night. Luckily, Eric Weddle loses his balance and trots out of bounds because there was a lot of green grass in front of him.

 

Best comedy of the night - The Chargers call tails in overtime, to which Derrick Johnson immediately responds - "Yes!"

 

Best play of the game - 3rd and 14 conversion to Steve Breaston in overtime. This dude makes magic happen. That's it, I'm calling him The Magic Man from now on. Lets hope he's a fan of Heart.

 

Best way to beat the Chargers - Let them do it themselves. Are these guys the new Raiders or what? Penalties, turnovers, and fumbled snaps galore from this annually underachieving team. Has anybody blown more winnable games than the Chargers the last few years?

 

Best player in the game - Tamba Hali. Not only did he register two sacks (including the huge one in OT), but he played the run well, forced multiple holding calls, and watched his counterpart, Marcus McNeill false start four times on the night. It's a shame I can't wear his jersey anymore (only worn three times, the first three games of this season).

 

Best fact that only Kansas City Chiefs fans seem to know - Ryan Mathews is terrible. I don't think I've ever seen a running back so afraid of contact.

 

Best uniform violation - Dwayne Bowe, Brandon Flowers, and Brandon Carr all rocking the red socks. Damn, them men were looking sharp.

 

"Worst day ever" - #1 hit single from Cry Me A Rivers featuring Justin Timberlake. Who says that past the age of five (besides somebody who wears skinny jeans or resides on the cast of Jersey Shore)? 

 

Best AFC West QB to beat - Philip Rivers? Jay Cutler was fun because I despised him so much. Tim Tebow will be fun because, well, for obvious reasons. Rich Gannon would've been high on the list, although I'm not sure the Chiefs beat him too often. John Elway because of his greatness. Jake Plummer, Ryan Leaf, and Craig Whelihan are all strong candidates, but Philip Rivers is seriously whiny, and it thrills me like no other to watch him lose. So who is/was your favorite divisional QB to watch the Chiefs defeat?

 

Go crazy Kansas City, you deserve it. However, we might all want to take a night off and lower the overall Blood Alcohol Content of the city.

 

Follow me on Twitter

His Dirkness