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Top 10 Things You Might Have Heard Haley Say At This Week’s OTA

Thanks for picking up my slack this afternoon, NJ.  -Joel

Well boys and girls, the first OTA has ended and other than a few minutes each day when the media was allowed to observe, we have no idea what happened.

I'm sure most of us would have loved to have been a fly on the wall of the training facility or locker room to have a better understanding of what's going on with our Chiefs during their first OTA. How bad were the dropped passes? Where did McCluster line up the most? How are the new coordinators interacting with their players?

Unfortunately, it's not possible to know the answer to those questions, and to try to guess the answers would be pure speculation. So much is new in those areas (other than the drops) that we can't even rely on past observations.

Using those past observations and recent reports, we can make some good guesses about what the general mood was and how the head coach was interacting with players. In the spirit of David Letterman, I've put togher a list of what those players might have heard. [Remember, it's Haley speaking borderline SFW]

Let me know what one's I missed.

10.  What the f--k am I supposed to do if I’m not calling plays? This is just f-ing weird. Do I at least get to blow the whistle?

9.  Can someone please tell me where the donuts are? Charlie? Romeo? I’m not f-ing kidding, guys!

8.  Mo, damn it, I expect more from you! Not you Leggs, I meant Carthon. You’ll know when I mean you.

7.  Jesus Christ, Brodie, snap the f-ing ball! No, not right now, Matt’s with the first team. I just like the way it sounds.

6.  Charles, Jones, and McCluster? I could just s--t twice and die I’m so happy.

5.  Well f--k guys, how ‘bout we just pretend catching the ball is your f-ing job and you make a f--k ton of money to do it. Will that work? Christ, you guys are awful.

4.  No DJ, you’re not starting.

3.  O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?
Deny thy father and refuse thy name;
Or if thou wilt not, at least get this f-ing defense
to where they don’t f-ing suck anymore.

2.  Men, I can’t tell you how pleased I am that we’ve all stayed below the media’s radar and stayed out of trouble. Good work.

1.  Holy s--t, Waters showed up!

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