Damn you, late game! You’re messin’ with my flow. If you’re anything like me, and God help you if you are, your fall weekends are pretty routine. Get out of work Friday, jam some tunes, pounds some drinks and maybe some cheeseburgers. Wake up Saturday, do some chores, watch some college football, and lay low to ensure you’re fresh for that 9am tailgate Sunday morning. Hop out of bed Sunday morning, toss on that tattered red golf shirt (no self respecting man wears a jersey) and either hightail it to Arrowhead or out to the driveway to get a solid three hours of tailgating in before kickoff. It’s a wonderful, time tested routine, but this weekend that routine gets turned on its head.

The only college game we have is shwag ass Army Navy. Spare me the “Support our troops” BS, this game is a snoozer. To make things much worse, we’re stuck with the dreaded 3pm Chiefs game. Oh I how I hate those. You’re still up and ready at 9 but if I crack open that Pale Ale or I’ll be doing my best Bob Huggins’s impression come kickoff. So, its three hours in some sort of bizzaro limbo while anxiously waiting the Chiefs kickoff. Sure you have morning games, and this week we have thrillers like Atlanta Carolina, Browns Bills, and Green Bay Detroit but let’s be honest, Army Navy is more intriguing.

So you pace around the house for 3 hours waiting for shitty morning games to start. You try to start the tailgate at noon but it just doesn’t feel right. Finally, the Chiefs kickoff but you’re problems aren’t over. You love yourself a post noon game nap. You’ve been out in the sun, maybe the cold, you’ve done some day drinking and some over eating, and the Chiefs just won at Arrowhead. There is no better time to shwag out for an hour on the couch. You can sleep an hour and still wake up to catch the end of the late games. It’s blissful. But not this weekend. Try to take a nap and you’ll wake to complete darkness wondering where the hell you are. Late games messin’ with your riddim.

I hate you late games. I hate you more than a Nancy Pelosi prepared veggie burger.