KC Fans Split on Selection of Team's Nerd (Satire)

Logonerd_mediumMany Arrowhead Pride fans still wonder whether the direction the Kansas City Chiefs are currently taking will produce results: Tangible, it can be seen, it can be counted, results.

There are fans on board with the way things are going, fans who want to wait and see, others who like to go one direction and a myriad of fans wanting to go yet others.

This lack of consensus in AP has bubbled over yet again in the latest position to be filled at Arrowhead. Clark Hunt has had a full year to evaluate the direction he would like to take after firing the Arrowhead Nerd at the beginning of last season.


Many fans at AP anticipated the replacement and have been speculating for months which direction the Chiefs should go. Many fans want to go young when filling the KC Nerd position.

These fans, known as Newave, seem to always like fresh faces and new talent. "Change" is their motto. Any Change. These fans have scoured the Nerd rankings to see who could be brought in and at what price. Newave Pic

The current favorite for many Newave fans is 'Baby Face' Nelson, a nerd with a lot of upside. Nelson is an unknown with high upside but a potential to bust. Most Newave fans refute the fact that Baby Face Nelson could turn out bad. They point out his success in other less competitive markets and argue that if Baby Face was a successful nerd at one level then he should have no problem with the Chiefs.

A concern that many fans have about Baby Face Nelson is his recurring acid reflux problem (as can be seen by the need for a bib in the pic above).

The Newave battle cry is: Change...It couldn't be any worse!


There are other fans from Kansas City that look for Clark Hunt to bring in a nerd with "Pop". These fans, known as Bring'n-Bling, are looking for star power, charisma, and want the media impact affect.

Bring'n-Bling's hunt for a high flying, has all the numbers, looks good when the nerd walks in the door has just begun. Most fans think, however, that the only candidate Bring'n-Bling will ever endorse is Ms. Itis Secsy (Pic left).

Itis Secsy is a nerd from one of the most prestigious institutions in our country. She has all the right numbers and was voted best dressed nerd four years running (Well, wouldn't you vote for her?).

One concern that keeps being forwarded by the Newave group is Ms. Itis Secsy may need lower back surgery (as can be seen in the pic in which she seems to be getting some lower back relief by bending forward).

The Bring'n-Bling battle cry is: If it sparkles...I like it.


Soon after Newave and Bring'n-Bling started their campaigns a third group emerged trying to endorse a nerd already in the organization, Mr. D'Olskools Betur (Pic on right).

Most of the fans that favor D'Olskools thought the previous KC nerd was serviceable and didn't need to be let go. This group, known as Stadus-Kwo, covets the team player and the underdog that sticks with it. In return for this demand for dedication, Stadus-Kwo reciprocates this loyalty by advocating for current members in the organization.

D'Olskools Betur posses many skills but is the master of none. His greatest asset is his versatility and loyalty to the organization. He is known to be able to get the job done but with little fanfare.

A concern that has arisen regarding D'Olskools Betur is his potential upside. It is widely known that D'Olskools can not keep pace with the current influx in talent. This leaves the question on whether the Chiefs can keep pace with other nerds if D'Olskools is retained.

The Stadus-Quo battle cry is: If it ain't broke don't fix it.

Due to all of this speculation and conjecture an uprising is starting by some members that is led by the Count Upto MCMXCVIII (Pic below). This group does not like all the campaigning the other three groups have been doing and have enlisted Count Upto MCMXCVIII to take care of it.

This group has attempted to use an archaic parliamentary AP procedure called reconciliation to confine the three groups to one section of AP. However, some more clever campaigners have circumvented the ruling by unconventional "back door" methods.

The group refuses to claim an official name but their battle cry is known to be: That makes...(you insert number).


It is unclear at his point which direction Clark Hunt will go with the KC nerd. What is known is that all of AP has an opinion about it one way or another.

Go Chiefs!

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Arrowhead Pride's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Arrowhead Pride writers or editors.