Hey. In case you didn't know I am Scott Pioli and I am here to answer your questions. First, I know what's on everyone's mind so let me answer a few things outright:
Defensive coordinator -- I'll get to it when I damn feel like it. I'm up to my ears in X's, O's, and Herm's draftees, working 12 hours a day before doing some blow and working several more hours. Do you really think it's a matter of me sitting on my thumbs?
QB -- Tyler Thigpen is a god among men. When I first spoke to him, his manhands smothered my girly handshake. I was so overcome by his powers of intimidation that I'm trading Croyle and Quinn to Detroit for the rights to Matt Millen's mangina.
RB -- Larry Johnson has a sweet ride, dudes, and he's a helluva guy to party with. He could be our punter. He don't know when to COL' QUIT. Charles' last name is a first name. I like that.
WR -- People say this Crabtree is a good player, but I'm looking for football smart, lightning fast, strong handed, agile, self-starters with a sharing attitude. I'm afraid Crabtree lacks something in the 'agile' department. His peanut butter and jelly time at the combine was not exactly 'what the scouts were looking for'.
Defense -- Dick Butkus is the key. I'm looking at Butkus to man the trenches. We could really use Dick to send right up their alley, you know, and create pressure and what not. Then we just pop in some Czonka for good measure. ALRIGHT ALREADY. So I haven't done my evaluations yet.
Herm -- begged me for a position in ticket sales, but I just felt he was a cancer in the clubhouse. Had to go.
So that's it. Any questions? I'll answer them honestly. That's what I'm here for.
Some of you might not believe I'm really Pioli. Whateva. I'll break ya kneecaps