Doctor Diagnoses Casey Fanz with Bipolar Disorder (satire)

BS - Press - October 29, 2009 10:00am CT

Missouri resident Casey Fanz has been diagnosed with a rare mood disorder called Bipolar disorder "C". This disorder is characterized by swings of mood from Manic Delusional Episode (during a general work week) to a Major Depressive Episode (primarily on Sunday).

AP member, Casey Fanz, has missed the past few days at the Arrowhead Nation due to testing for a disorder more commonly known as the 'roller-coaster ride.' He was last heard saying during one Manic Delusional Episode that his favorite football team would go 8-8 after a 1-5 start.

A statement was released just one hour ago that REBT therapists say it will take "extensive therapy" to treat the activating event. Some doctors have even gone as far as to say, "donors might be needed to replace the failing systems that are causing Fanz to have these mood swings." Ideas for a draft will be released soon.

The disorder can affect several different members at once. It is recommended that all members at AP Nation be checked by their personal physician immediately. If you have any two of the symptoms below, please contact your doctor immediately.

If you:

  • start showing decreased interest in going on Arrowhead Pride on Mondays because you have "work to do." (ya right)
  • get totally smashed before 12:00 to avoid remembering the actual game. (not that bad yet)
  • start mowing grass more often anytime from 12:00-3:00 on Sunday.
  • have a wife that stops complaining that you don't pay attention to her during a Chiefs game. (things aren't looking good)
  • start humming 'Swing Low Sweet Chariot' after each Chiefs game. (you have it)
  • start hanging around new friends that talk about things like kids, wheat grass juice, or soccer. (you got it bad)
  • start lying about being a Chiefs fan three times before the cock crows. (you're going straight to hell for that one)

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Arrowhead Pride's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Arrowhead Pride writers or editors.