From the FanPosts. I really got a kick out of this. -Chris
APPLICATION FOR EMPLOYMENT
KANSAS CITY CHIEFS
**All potential employees are evaluated without regard to religion, age, how long you have been on waivers, who you know...like Parcells or Belichick (by the way...do you know them?), veteran status, or a non-job related handicap that might prevent you from blocking.
Position Sought:________________________________________________________________________
How did you learn about the position? (check one)
[ ] ads in KC Star [ ] watched our last game [ ] Parcells told me [ ] I drew the short straw
Name:______________________________ Address:_____________________ City:________________ Sate:__________________ Zip _____________________
What date would you be available for work? _________________ (Could you play this weekend? Please!)
Are you a U.S. citizen, or are you authorized to work in the U.S. without restriction? [ ] Yes [ ] No
Have you ever been placed on waivers by another team? [ ] Yes [ ] No (If yes, then you are hired)
If yes, please describe circumstances ____________ (not really, we don't care...you are still hired)
If employed, are you willing to be submitted to verbal abuse? Isolation if you are hurt? [ ] Yes [ ] No
If you were in a pressure situation would you: [A] take a time out [B] snap the F*#*$^ ball
If you were covering for a punt, would you: [A] down it on the one yard line [B] stick your head up your A#$ and watch it roll into the end zone
If you are blocking for a punt field goal would you: [A] put your head up so as to stop some, say, 275lb guy from jumping over you [B] keep your head up your A#$ so you have a good view behind you of the blocked kick
EMPLOYMENT:
Last Employer:___________________________________________ Position:_________________________
Was the employer the owner of the [ ] Dophins [ ] Cowboys [ ] Patriots [ ] Cardinals (If so, then you are hired)
Dates Employed: ____________________
Address: ________________________ City:___________________ State: _____________________
Your last Head Coach was: (If not Parcells or Belichick we really don't care) __________________________-
Can you block? [ ] Yes [ ] No (Don't be so hard on yourself...you haven't seen our guys yet)
Other skills: ________________________ (Seriously, can you block)
Acknowledgment and authorization
In the event of employment, I understand that Pioli talks to his father-in-law and any false or misleading information given in my application or interview(s) may result in discharge. I understand, also, that I am required to abide by all rules and expectations of the employer. And if I cannot catch the F*#$#^ ball, I might be released.
Signature of Applicant: _______________________________________________________________