Who's Got the Funk? AP's Got the Funk

by Chris Thorman on Aug 23, 2007 9:32 AM CDT Comment 7 comments

The Mayor is smiling because he has the no. 1 overall pick in his fantasy league.

About a week ago, I had the inkling to get inside Kansas City Mayor Mark Funkhouser's head and talk about sports. The Mayor of Kansas City holds a special place in Chiefs lore because it was Mayor Bartle's nickname of "The Chief" years ago that gave the franchise its name. As a tax-paying Kansas City metro area voter who runs a website that gets over 20,000 monthly visitors, Mayor Funkhouser kindly obliged to answer my questions. I know the Mayor is busy so I kept the questions short and sweet but still interesting (I hope anyway). The Mayor and his staff were exceptionally polite and I'm still amazed they let a bum like myself ask the Mayor a few questions. Keep up the good work Mayor Funkhouser.

Growing up in West Virginia, who were your sports heroes and what sports did you play?

Growing up, Celtics Center Bill Russell was my sports hero. I wanted to emulate his style on defense and the way he blocked shots. I don’t have natural talent with regard to ball handling and shooting. It seemed to me that emulating Russell was my best shot at success. And it did earn me a college scholarship to play basketball at Thiel College. There were 60 students in my high school class, and I was a mediocre varsity athlete in football, basketball and track. I threw the discus and ran the high hurdles. As a younger kid, I played baseball, but terribly.

Your education over the years had you living in Pennsylvania, West Virginia, Tennessee and finally Kansas City. Which college program do you root for now or are you forever a Thiel College Tomcat?

I don’t scan the internet box scores for the Tomcat listings, but I do feel good when I happen to notice West Virginia has won a game. As a Missourian, it may not be the political answer, but I have to admit that I follow KU Jayhawks basketball. I appreciate good basketball, and that’s good basketball.

If you had to choose between a mayoral victory and a Kansas City Chiefs Super Bowl victory, which would you choose?

Here I will defer to politics and take a pass on that.

Without looking, can you name six starters on the Kansas City Chiefs?

Sure. Wait, do I have to list them? [Ed.: I fully expect the Mayor to be by the site anytime to prove he can do this.]

What is the greatest sports moment you've been a part of- watched, played in or otherwise?

I couldn’t tell you the year, but I watched an NCAA basketball tournament final when Bill Walton played for UCLA. I was kind of a Walton fan, and he had a run where I believe he shot 100 percent from the floor, rebounding, shot blocking. UCLA won, but just barely. It was the most remarkable single performance I’ve ever seen.

Finally, who is your pick to start the season at quarterback- Brodie Croyle or Damon Huard?

I know Damon is going to be injured still so it will be Brodie. Can that be one of my six starters?

The Mayor is obviously on top of his game. Thanks again Mayor Funkhouser. We all appreciate you taking the time to let us in on your sports experiences.

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That picture

is really weird.

Nice interview, Chris.

by Joel Thorman on Aug 23, 2007 11:15 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Madness

A mayor of a Missouri town is a freaking Jayhawks fan. Pardon me while I throw up.

You play to win the game!

by tailgateandwin on Aug 23, 2007 12:03 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

kc is now funkytown, why not arrowhead 2?

While I do have a recurring dream where I steal
the Gold Jacket and the Mayor chases me around
until he catches up to me and beats me into a
pulp; otherwise, I find him delightful.
I wonder why he wasn't big into football.
Personally, I feel he could play professionally.
Imagine bringing the Funk to the Chief's interior
defensive line. As a noseguard, the mayor could
line up across from the center, but instead of
using the typical football 3 or 4-point stance,
the mayor could stand upright, right next to the
line of scrimmage. As soon as the ball is
snapped Mr. Mayor could lean over the center and
push the quarterback over with one of his go-go
gadget arms complete with bear-like paws.
Every play would be a 2 to 5 yard sack and the
Chiefs would surely win the Superbowl as long as
Brodie Croyle does not throw too many picks that
ended up being returned for touchdowns.
Offensive points would not be absolutely
necessary, as the mayor would get his fair share
of safeties.
Plus, KC would be known for having the biggest
mayoral/leader of men category badass of all
time, discounting POSSIBLY Alexander the Great or
Genghis Khan. Now tell me, what do YOU think
about that?

by i drink herms koolaid on Aug 23, 2007 1:07 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

One and only one problem with that

The lineman have to remain in their stance. Maybe a linebacker?

by Chris Thorman on Aug 23, 2007 1:28 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

And

isn't Funkytown closed? The one right off of 435 and 63rd st.?

Not that I've ever been there.

by Chris Thorman on Aug 23, 2007 1:29 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Not sure if it was the same place or not

But I was at a Funkytown a couple of weeks ago. I wouldn't recommend it for anyone other than horny 45 year olds. Yeesh.

by Pauli on Aug 23, 2007 7:25 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

That rule seems kind of funny

although I don't really know the rules. i mean, do you need to even have a "lineman" on the field? and lets say a guy who is generally a lineman, starts playing "linebacker" and then walks up to the line and does the same thing. shouldn't this be legal because players can switch positions, e.g. defensive end/linebackers, who frequently do. Just wondering what would make you a "lineman" thus requiring you to stay in your stance. Not that it really matters and I'm too lazy to look it up.

Regardless, blitzing "linebacker" would be ok because they can just walk up to the line anyway. The obvious offensive approach to my nasty defensive strategy would be to cut-block the funk. This my friends cannot stand. I propose a Roman phalanx approach, by which we get about 4 mean, nasty lineman who can get real low (2 in tight on each side of the funk) and 1. form a protective type of shield around the funk and 2. inflict massive pain to the midsection of anybody who goes after the funk.

also, i've heard some good stories about the funkytown down there at raytona beach. sadly, it closed well before both my time and its time.

by i drink herms koolaid on Aug 23, 2007 2:26 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs