The Never Again Mock Draft

I'm sick of mock drafts, but this is the first year I've seriously tried to do one. I might as well submit my last one and see if I can win genius status by getting more right than any of the other prognosticators. I vow to never do one again, unless, that is, someone is paying me. Yes, underemployment sucks.

I put each team's passing and rushing offensive and defensive rankings in parentheses.

  1. QB Blake Bortles to the Houston Texans (15/20/3/23)... Bortles looks and plays like a prototypical pocket quarterback who's also no slouch running the ball. He could develop into a beast with no weaknesses in his game. Houston coach Bill O'Brien witnessed first-hand what Bortles can do against Penn State.

  2. OT Greg Robinson to the St. Louis Rams (27/19/19/9)... Beastly OT especially in the run game. The St. Louis running game could become a juggernaut with him blocking and they already weren't too shabby in that area after Zac Stacy emerged last year.

  3. OLB Khalil Mack to the Jacksonville Jaguars (22/31/26/29)... Passing on the QB for the blue-chip versatile defender WITH a work ethic. Passing on Clowney after having to deal with head-case Justin Blackmon for the last several years.

  4. DE Jadeveon Clowney to the Atlanta Falcons (7/32/21/31) after a trade with the Browns... This now-desperate franchise is less picky than the Jags and they continue to trade away their future for a chance to win now... although I don't see that happening. Within two years, I'd wager that front office will have been fired.

  5. WR Sammy Watkins to the Oakland Raiders (25/12/28/13)... Good WR who fits and is a value pick even though Oakland does have a large stable of wideouts. He'll be pushing someone off the team.

  6. QB Johnny Manziel to the Cleveland Browns (11/27/8/18)... Browns get the QB behind the alleged reason they fired Chudzinski, or so the speculation goes.

  7. WR Mike Evans to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers (32/22/17/15)... Bills want to trade up but the Bucs stand pat with allegedly the next best WR with a need across from Vincent Jackson and the fact he's old and they may not retain him next year. Aaron Donald could go here but I don't see it with McCoy there playing the three-tech. Bucs would love to trade down out of the top 10 and get CJ Mosley much later but they can't pull it off.

  8. QB Teddy Bridgewater to the Minnesota Vikings (23/8/31/16)... Would like to trade down but can't find any partners. Playing in a dome should alleviate some concerns about Mr. "I can't play without my gloves."

  9. OT Jake Matthews to the Buffalo Bills (28/2/4/28)... After desperately trying to trade up for Sammy Watkins and Mike Evans and failing, they settle for one of the top OTs, their third greatest need since Erik Pears will probably be let go next year and didn't play that well last year. Value pick.

  10. CB Justin Gilbert to the Detroit Lions (3/17/23/6)... After desperately trying to trade down, the Lions go with a CB even though they'd like to take Lewan. They fear an overly toxic locker room, though, if they take on another character case. I think Dennard is better but on the artificial turf they play on, the Lions go with the speed and fluidity of Gilbert. They could go Aaron Donald if they really want to jettison Nick Fairley after this season.

  11. DT Aaron Donald to the Chicago Bears (5/16/15/32) after a trade with the Titans... Bears get the player they really want and keep the Giants from getting to him before they do.

  12. OT Taylor Lewan to the NY Giants (19/29/10/14)... Protecting Manning would be a smart tactical move. Giants have gone all in on the OL this offseason.

  13. OG Zack Martin to the Rams... The Rams have doubled down on their OL and with the defenses in their division, who can blame them? Watch out for St. Louis next year with that OL and get ready to draft Zac Stacy in fantasy. They could also use a WR but they have invested an awful lot of high picks there already.

  14. ILB CJ Mosley to the Tennessee Titans (21/14/11/20)... It's a bit early for an ILB but Mosley would likely make the most impact on their team with their move to a 3-4 and the need for more LBs, assuming he can stay healthy.

  15. DT Louis Nix to the Pittsburgh Steelers (12/28/9/21)... Steelers get their true NT for their 3-4. Steve McClendon, move on over to DE. Steelers potentially improve at two positions with this pick.

  16. DE Kony Ealy to the Dallas Cowboys (14/24/30/27)... Picking for this team is almost an exercise in futility. Jerry Jones is kind of like what Al Davis used to be, totally unpredictable. This is a desperation pick... they have a lot of holes on the DL and they need to get pass rush from somewhere. This may be where my entire draft falls apart, if it hasn't already.

  17. OLB Ryan Shazier to the Baltimore Ravens (18/30/12/11)... Ravens throw a curveball to the rest of the league but they stay with their board. Shazier can bring the heat and should only get better. Terrell Suggs is getting pretty old.

  18. CB Darqueze Dennard to the NY Jets (31/6/22/3)... There is a lot of debate over who the best corners are in this draft but the Jets got arguably the best.

  19. DT Timmy Jernigan to the Miami Dolphins (20/26/16/24)... They couldn't trade up for Martin, who they really wanted, so they go to work on the opposite trench on the DL. It needs to be replenished after their free agent departures and the lack of bodies up front.

  20. TE Eric Ebron to the Arizona Cardinals (13/23/14/1)... They need to replace John Abraham sooner rather than later, but they decide to gamble on the no-blocking Ebron considering their low production at TE from Housler. Ebron, with his 11 percent drop rate and no interest in blocking, is a major project but Palmer and Arians might be able to turn him in the right direction.

  21. WR Marqise Lee to the Green Bay Packers (6/7/24/25)... The Packers need TE and safety but they go with Lee here hoping he's the 2012 version. They have been hemorrhaging WRs for the last several years.

  22. WR Brandin Cooks to the Eagles (9/1/32/10)... They have more needs on D but it seems too early to pick Attaochu here. They interviewed Cooks at the Combine.

  23. CB Kyle Fuller to the 49ers (30/3/7/4) after trade with the Chiefs... 49ers can't pass up chance to get the player many have ranked as the top corner in the draft.

  24. CB Jason Verrett to the Bengals (8/18/5/5)... Conventional wisdom has them taking a corner and I concur. They are very old and injured there.

  25. OLB Anthony Barr to the Chargers (4/13/29/12)... The Chargers end his meteoric fall and I hope he sucks. Hypothetically, he should help with their pass rush and pass defense.

  26. OG Xavier Sua-Filo to the Browns... WR or OG here? I went with OG since they signed Burleson and Hawkins.

  27. WR Allen Robinson to the New Orleans Saints (2/25/2/19)... They need to restock the WR cabinet and Marques Colston appears to be in serious decline.

  28. OT Morgan Moses to the Panthers (29/11/6/2)... The Jordan Gross retirement threw their plans into flux. While they badly need a WR, they can't afford to neglect their OT situation.

  29. DL Dominique Easley to the Patriots (10/9/18/30)... Easley is a wild card but could add the most value for a team with needs and injuries on the DL. Wilfork and Kelly almost qualify for dinosaur status. Pats may be able to trade down and still get him.

  30. WR Cody Latimer to the Kansas City Chiefs (24/10/25/22)... Shooting up the boards because he looks real good on tape. 4.4 40 doesn't hurt, either. Chiefs will look at safety and guard with their next picks. Safeties are falling so that bodes well for their chances to get a Ward or Bucannon later. I also think they could go Yankey here if they think they can get Latimer with their next pick.

  31. CB Bradley Roby to the Broncos (1/15/27/8)... The Broncos are lucky to get him here if they can keep him out of jail.

  32. DE Dee Ford to the Seattle Seahawks (26/4/1/7)... They have a mammoth hole at RT to fill but it's too early to reach on the rest of the OTs so they can go BPA and they need another pass rusher for when Bennett moves to tackle on passing downs (which is why they made a run for Jared Allen). I know; it's not fair.

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Arrowhead Pride's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Arrowhead Pride writers or editors.

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