From the FanPosts. LOL! -Joel
The steal of the century is sitting on the draft board for 2014. He will be overlooked by many teams, probably multiple times. But if our Kansas City Chiefs know what’s good for them, they will select this man, who will bring his team to the promised land. Of whom do I speak?
Pat O’Donnell, punter.
According to some metrics (but not others), Pat O’Donnell is the third-best punter in the draft. Those metrics grossly underestimate the value O’Donnell would have to any team that drafts him. He wore number 16 with Miami this year, so here’s 16 reasons why the Chiefs should draft Pat O’Donnell:
1. Pat O’Donnell is a winner. In his short time with Miami, the Hurricanes won at least one and possibly two or three games. A champion wins games, and O’Donnell has a history of doing just that.
2. Pat O’Donnell can punt a football. Each NFL team fields only one or two players who can competently take a couple steps forward, drop an oblong ball, and kick it before it hits the ground so it travels forward in the air. Teams often overlook this important aspect of the game, and the Chiefs can get ahead if they have more players with this unique skill. And in a similar vein…
3. Think of the trick plays! Imagine O’Donnell and Dustin Colquitt both in the backfield. Who’s going to be the one to punt the ball? You don’t know. The other team doesn’t know. Only God, O’Donnell, and Colquitt know. That kind of trick play will leave any team confused.
4. Pat O’Donnell can do other punter-y things. Punters aren’t just one-trick ponies. Sometimes they have to do other things, like hold on placekicks. Pat O’Donnell has had a long and storied history of receiving snaps from a distance and holding them in a certain position. Pat O’Donnell: Punter, or utility man? Yes.
5. Pat O’Donnell is fast. According to ESPN his 40 time is 4.95 seconds, which is significantly faster than I think I could run. This sort of once-in-a-generation speed only comes around twenty or thirty times in a generation. Jamaal Charles and Pat O’Donnell on the same roster? The NFL would have to do something about that, because it would be just unfair.
6. Pat O’Donnell knows how to travel. He transferred from Cincinnati to Miami last year. If nothing else, if the Chiefs ever have back-to-back road games against the Bengals and Dolphins, O’Donnell can show the team some of the roadside attractions along the way.
7. Pat O’Donnell can kick significantly farther than Dustin Colquitt. In 2011, O’Donnell ripped off a 76-yard punt. Last year Colquitt had a punt that went only 23 yards (and there might’ve been shorter because I didn’t feel like looking up other gams). This suggests that Pat O’Donnell has about three times the leg power that Dustin Colquitt does. In other words, since Colquitt averages close to 50 yards a punt, we can expect O’Donnell to average about 150 yards a punt. This would give the Chiefs a significant advantage in that their opponents will have to field punts from the Arrowhead parking lot instead of the field.
8. Pat O’Donnell would get the navy on our side. His cousin was on the Naval Academy track team. If things ever get out of hand for the Chiefs, O’Donnell can just give his cousin a call and the Navy will take care of everything. (Note that this would only work in games played in the ocean.)
9. Pat O’Donnell has a strong punting heritage. There’s another Irish guy named Pat who punts in the NFL*. This is what he does in extremely accurate yet fictional situations:
And this is what he does in real life:
*I guess he could be Scottish too, but, I mean, that’s close enough, right?
10. Pat O’Donnell likes exploring things. His major was "exploratory studies." I like exploring things too. Sometimes it’s good to venture into the unknown.
11. Pat O’Donnell is tall. He’s 6’5" , which is between five and seven inches taller than me depending on if I have shoes on or if I’m trying to stand up really tall. Ray Guy was pretty tall too, and now he’s in the Hall of Fame. Not a coincidence.
12. Pat O’Donnell’s birthday is during the Scouting Combine. The good folks at the Scouting Combine give your stats a little boost if it’s your birthday.
13. Pat O’Donnell is accurate. I decided to simulate on Madden what it would look like if O’Donnell played for the Chiefs. I took Dustin Colquitt and changed his name to "Pat O’Donnell" and then proceeded to play a game. As it turns out, Pat O’Donnell is equally as accurate with his punts as Dustin Colquitt.
14. Pat O’Donnell shares his last name with a villain from Star Fox. And since the namesake antagonist always comes back whenever I reset the game, no matter how many times I beat him, I’m willing to believe that people named O’Donnell are immortal.
15. Pat O’Donnell is not named Kendrick Lewis. That’s a good sign.
16. Pat O’Donnell’s just a good kid who wants you to give him a chance. He wants you to know that he’ll try his best and that he can kick a football really well. But if you don’t pick him in the draft, that’s okay. The Jaguars have already told O’Donnell that they plan to pick him in the fourth round.