Sick. That is the first word that comes to mind after our heart wrenching playoff loss this past Saturday. I literally sat there and stared at the screen for I don't know how long. Even at this very moment I honestly have no idea how we lost that game. Yeah I watched it, but I still don't get it. I was flabbergasted, yet not surprised.
This is as candid as a write up as you will see from me. Many of the old heads here have seen me post about the Chiefs choosing me as a team. The fact of the matter is the Chiefs HAD to be my team. I am not from Kansas City, wasn't crazy about the color Red, and didn't know I had such a high tolerance for pain. If the Chiefs were a person, they would be me.
I generally make a decision to be a positive person. I am a Christian and I do my best to live by Christian principles. Yet things just seem to happen to me. I don't believe in Murphy's Law, but I understand. It seems like the rare "what are the odds of that happening" things are always happening to me. I sat and stared at the screen on Saturday not only because I was in complete shock, but because I saw my life in a football game.
It seem like things are only allowed to go so well in my life before the bottom falls out all over again (sound familiar?). When we opened up on the Colts, we encountered my biggest, dare I say "fear" in football. I tell my younger brothers all the time that the worst thing that can happen in football (and probably sports in general) is for a team to get a huge 1st half lead. In my mind, that team almost always loses. Whether it be because the team feels complacent and lets off of the gas, or because the other team is so desperate that they tap into the maximum of human ability, or maybe the really nice coach is trying not to run up the score and the momentum gets away. Whatever the case, I hate when it happens. But this time was different. We were going to do this because we wanted this game. Then we came out of the gates and started the 2nd half by getting an interception and a TD. I said yes, it is different. Then.........we lost. And that was exactly what that game seemed like to me. We were up 38 -10, and it was over, we lost, and I was like what the what??
But again, this wasn't the typical loss. It hit me in a place I really didn't think a football game could. Every thing that could happen did happen just like my life. The hard part is I know that I am blessed and have a lot to be thankful for. That makes me feel even worse because it is like I am unappreciative of what I have in my life.
I spent most of the Holiday season at the hospital because my 104 year old Great Grandmother was admitted for failing kidneys due to dehydration. I was there almost everyday for 3 weeks. When she went in, it took all of the faith that I had to believe that she would be able to come out of there. The hospital employees were kind, but they didn't understand how we put so much belief into a person that old being able to recover and come home. Her kidneys actually returned to normal operation, but then other complications would arise. Blood clots, internal bleeding, the IV in her arm missed the vein so the fluid was running into her arm causing it to be swollen with fluid, and she was in an immense amount of pain. Talk about peaks and valleys. We were told that her kidneys were functioning so she should be able to get home for Christmas, then literally the next day we were told that she would not make it out of the hospital. This reminds me of the 2011-12 season. We were fresh off of a playoff season, the players had settled into the 3-4 D, and Matt Cassel was coming off of his best season as a Chief. Nothing could stop us from going back to the playoffs and doing some damage, or so I thought. Jamaal went down, EB went down, Moeaki went down, and eventually Cassel went down.
Ok. Back to the hospital. My Grand Mother would get past everything that popped up and then something else would pop up. My mother pulled the Dr to the side to talk to him and he told her that we should not expect my G-grandmother to recover. He said "You got your miracle when she didn't die from the near kidney failure. There won't be another miracle." We were definitely not happy to get that news, but we knew we had to keep the faith.
So here we were in 2012-13. Our injured Chiefs were all healthy, our last game was a shocking upset of the Aaron Rodgers led GB Packers, we had a coach that the team loved to play for, and the sky was the limit.
And then, 2-14. Really? How?
Yeah we went to the playoffs in 2010-11, but there would be no more miracles.
But then something that not many people saw coming happened. We quickly secured Andy Reid, Jon Dorsey, and a mostly overhauled coaching staff. Dorsey immediately began to fill the roster with players we had never heard of, Reid was working hard on offense, and the fan base was re-energizing. The season before we had everything lined up and were picked by many to represent the AFC west even though Peyton Manning had set up shop with one of our biggest rivals. And then....2-14. So many people understandably had us winning 7 maybe 8 games this year. There were very few of us who thought we could win double digit games.
Back to the Hospital-
So my Grandmother got the news for the 3rd time that she might be able to leave to come home in a couple of days so that she could be home by New Year's day. And this time it was true. She was home on New Year's day. I was elated as I sat and thought about how far she had come. I mean who leaves the hospital at 104 years old? It was a lot to go through, but we made it. I could have been angry that someone who has lived an awesomely kind and generous life was in the hospital fighting for her life. We could have thrown in the towel when the Dr told us that she would not leave the hospital, but we chose to keep the faith. And now, I reflect on the fact that she has done something that not many people could ever claim. She went into the hospital at 104 and came out better than she went in.
When it comes to the Chiefs, like my life, even when things are going great, the bottom always seems to fall out. But I came to the conclusion that I am so into the Chiefs because in a way, they are a microcosm of my life. I used my Grandmother's situation as the most recent example, but that is just how life seems to go for me at this point. I am so blessed in most ways, but in others I can't catch a break. But I am really excited about things.
We should have won the game this past Saturday no doubt. And that was one of the most heart wrenching ways to lose it.
But the truth is we changed the QB, the HC, the GM, and the offense from a 2 -14 team. And then we made the playoffs with a record that could have easily been 13-3 or 14 -2. Even though the ball literally didn't bounce our way and just about everything that could happen to us did happen to us, we have alot to celebrate. We are FINALLY relevant in all 3 phases of the game and the depth is icing on the cake. We should be something to recon with for years to come. And one day the tides will turn and the same number of bad breaks we get will be the number of good breaks we get. How can I believe that after all tat has happened? It's simple. My life depends on it.