I had some free time at work over the last week and thought it would be fun to make a top 10 list of my most hated teams in the NFL. There doesn't necessarily have to be a reason for anyone to hate another team, but I did my best to give you reasons as to why each team made the list. I hope you all enjoy it and I hope to read your top 10 lists either in a new post or in the comments. Enjoy!
1. Denver Broncos- Orange makes me want to puke, Knowshon’s eyeball fluid makes me want to puke, Peyton Manning’s forehead when he takes off his helmet makes me want to puke, Broncos fans make me want to puke, the fact that we lost to them twice this year makes me want to puke. All of this combined with a Denver playoff win and I will paint my living room with stomach bile, whiskey, and fruity pebbles. Puke. They are easily my number 1.
2. Dallas Cowboys- Americas team my ass. They are the most average team on the planet. As long as Tony Romo is their QB they will never be a real post season threat. It’s good news for the NFC East that the Cowboys locked Romo up for another 7 years by paying him 119.5 million dollars. They are number two on this list because I am tired of seeing a team with such average lifetime potential on my TV as much as they are. Go the fuck away Dallas.
3. Oakland Raiders- I struggle to put the Raiders at number 3 seeing as how they have been the most dysfunctional team in the NFL for close to 10 years now. Its hard hating something that you feel pity for. But, being that I am a Chiefs fan, I have to include them at number 3. Reasons here would include: Al Davis, they play on a baseball field, Sebastian Janikowski, and Ben Davidson.
4. San Diego Chargers- The Chargers play in a dump. Its been called by other NFL’ers, “The armpit of the NFL.” Their fans are just as bad, as they don’t even show up to home games when the playoffs are on the line. Couple the stadium and their lousy fan base with Phillip Rivers and you have a recipe for sad that no plastic surgeon in San Diego can mask.
5. Indianapolis Colts- The fans are generally nice and respectful. That is until they begin winning. When the Colts take a lead their fans get stupid. I was at the playoff game in Indy and watched with my own eyes a fan in front of me play on their cell phone for the entire first half of the playoff game. When the Colts took the lead in the 4th quarter, the fan looked back at me and my three other friends and made the boo hoo crying motion with his hands. Later we joked about following him outside, murdering his wife, wearing her face as a mask, and making the boo hoo sign back at him. Losing in the playoffs turns people a little crazy, I suppose.
6. Seattle Seahawks- Generally, as a rule of life, if you challenge someone to something you should not get a do-over. Such is the case with the debate of “loudest stadium in the NFL.” Seattle played against their arch rival the San Francisco 49ers. They invited a Guinness Book of World Records representative to record their attempt of setting the record. With a partial roof and with the hype and excitement of playing a division rival, who would challenge them for a NFCW title, they scored a whopping 136.6. The Chiefs beat the record a few weeks later by almost a full decibel at 137.5. This should have been the end of discussion. Instead the whiny babies in Seattle asked for a do-over. This time, they would try their luck on a Monday Night against the New Orleans Saints and they would add noise makers. They set the NFL record by .1. Congratulations Seattle! You showed the rest of the NFL how holding a record can make you a winner and a loser at the same time.
7. St. Louis Rams- St Louis is the only NFL team that works in reverse. They view football as a way to pass the time until Baseball season comes back around. And they’re arrogant about it too. They pretend in their east coast accents like they aren’t from the Midwest and like their city isn’t a shade above Detroit’s.
8. New England Patriots- Spygate did this one in for me. I find it odd that once the New England Patriots were caught video taping practices, they stopped winning Super Bowls. Regardless Bill Belicheck continues to ride the coat tails of his 6th round QB season after season while the media portrays him as a football genius. Just do us a favor Bill, keep your staff in tact. That way they can’t bring the “Patriot Way” to other teams in the NFL. Chiefs fans know first hand what kind of dysfunction that comes with it.
9. Miami Dolphins- Growing up I had a friend who was a fan of the Miami Dolphins. His reasoning was because Miami is warm and the girls are pretty in Florida. To my knowledge he had never been to Miami so his ideas were based off of music videos portraying women, cars, and money. For my 12th birthday he bought me a teal snap back Miami Dolphins hat with an orange brim. My parents made me keep the hat despite my many attempts to throw it out. Their reasoning was that you shouldn’t throw away gifts in front of the person that gave it to you. The hat stayed on the top shelf of my closet grimly mocking me every morning before leaving for school. Matt’s friend: 1 Matt: 0
10. Atlanta Falcons- I have a co-worker that lived in Atlanta for most of his life. Throughout the 2012 season he would always come in to work and ask me how the Chiefs fared last Sunday. My answer was always, “I don’t want to talk about it.” He would always gloat over my misery and ask me when I was planning on making the jump to the Falcons band wagon. In week 7 I beat him to the punch and asked him how the Falcons game was Sunday. He responded; “It was good. We won.” Week 7 was Atlanta’s bye week. Ass hat.