Colts vs. Chiefs: The best and the worst

John Rieger-USA TODAY Sports

His Dirkness recaps the Chiefs 23-7 shellacking at the hands of the Colts with the best and worst moments of the week

Snap back to reality. Oh, there goes gravity.

The Chiefs put up a performance worthy of hearing all Kansas Citians air their grievances today.

Colts 23, Chiefs 7.

Beatdown.

There would be no Festivus Miracles on this day. Hell, I don't even think there was a pole.

Yesterday's performance was more reminiscent of another of my favorite holidays: Groundhog's Day.

Why you ask?

Because it's gonna be cold, it's gonna be gray, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life.

Okay, campers, rise and shine. And don't forget your booties cause it's cold outside.

The Best & Worst w/ His Dirkness

Worst performance of the season - Obviously. Look, I realize the Chiefs pooped the defecating bed in the most crap-tacular way possible in yesterday's Feats of Strength. But I also know that the Dolphins, Bears, and Ravens all looked worse in games of MUCH higher importance. I know the Eagles and Bengals both got embarrassed last week, only to bounce back this week and win by a combined score of 96-25. And I know the 49ers lost by 20 at home to these very Colts, who lost to the Rams at home by 30 points.

What's your point, Dirk? My point is that this is a crazy league. There doesn't seem to be much rhyme or reason to what happens on a weekly basis no matter how hard we want there to be. And everybody puts up a dud at one point or another. So yes, that was the worst the Chiefs have looked all season, no question, but if you were to rank each of the playoff teams' worst performance of the season, the Chiefs' stinker doesn't look all that bad. It just happened to come at a bad time...

Worst timing - Or was it? The Broncos put up their dud just last week and most people think they'll be ok. The Ravens lost 4 of their final 5 games last season. The 2009 Super Bowl winning Saints lost at home in Week 16 to a 2-12 Buccaneers team (and yes, Brees played the whole game). The 2006 Colts started the season 9-0 before limping to a 12-4 finish and then won it all. So when you hear people saying, "great teams don't lose games like this at this point in the season," go ahead and tell them they're an idiot, from St. Dirkolas. (TAUNTING!!!)

So....what in God's name are you rambling about, Dirk? Well, really the poor timing of this loss is just that it happened in the here and now. It's our freshest memory. But in the tangible world, nothing has changed. These are the same players and coaches who you thought could win a playoff game, and who I thought could win a Super Bowl, just last week. More importantly, this team's season will still be judged by what happens in the game 12 or 13 days from now, same as it would've been if the Chiefs had won their final 4 games of the season in ultra convincing fashion.

Best way to sum up these early ramblings - Just win a playoff game. That's all I want.

Worst loss yesterday - No, not the Chiefs. Or the Dolphins, Ravens, or Bears. It was Von Miller, who's done for the season with a torn ACL (interesting comparison here). The AFC remains wide open.

Worst logical argument that I actually do believe in but expect very few of you to agree with - I'm a weird fan. Hell, I'm a weird guy, Ace (but that's none of your damn business and I'll thank you to stay out of my personal affairs). But I care more than the average bear about historical trends, national perspectives, and superstitions. As in, I immediately got worried yesterday morning when I realized every NFL Pregame talking head picked the Chiefs to win, except Shannon Sharpe who picked [inaudible]. Also, I cheered up after the game when I realized the Chiefs weren't gonna go 13-3 this season (as in, the '95, '97 and '03 failures).

You still haven't made your silly little argument, Dirk. Right, right. So if the Chiefs had walked over the Colts yesterday, say by 7-10 points, they would've been locked into playing them in the Wildcard round. KC would then be a huge favorite going in that game, with everybody and Costanza's mother picking them to win, and people around town still debating whether they'd like to play Denver or New England in the next round. Point being, that is a recipe for disaster, in my opinion. I kinda like our chances better marching into Indy with a bit of a chip on our shoulder, with revenge on our breaths, and with the media picking against us once again. (Our, us, Chiefs, whatever. I'm a part of the team at this point.)

Best playoff opponent for the Chiefs - The Colts. I'll assume they beat the Jaguars at home next week, which means the Chiefs' foe will be decided by Ravens at Bengals. Ravens win, the Chiefs go to Cincinnati. Bengals win, and KC goes to Indianapolis. I say go Cincy, so we can go to Indy.

Best excuse for the Chiefs performance - A perfect mixture of a letdown after clinching a playoff berth the week before, playing a team that was hungrier than thou, and thinking the win might come easy after the early TD, with just a pinch of the coaches holding a little something back.

Worst thing that could happen next week, aside from an injury - You play to win the game! (...and then you lose.) I'm not worried about this team's psyche right now. One bad game, the stench of which will be washed away over the next two weeks. However, If we go all out in San Diego and fall flat on our face once again, then I'd be worried. So I would argue there is more to lose than there is to gain, even before you account for the risk of injuries. Throw that in, and it's a no brainer for me - Sit everybody.

Best information you need to know - Andy Reid has rested his starters 4 times in his career. A quick look...

  • 2001 - Won 2 playoff games (1 on road), lost in the NFC Championship
  • 2004 - Won 2 playoff games, lost in Super Bowl
  • 2006 - Won first playoff game, lost in Divisional round
  • 2010 - Lost first playoff game

Best way to handle Knile(s) Dave - Feed him the rock 25 times next week. If he can hold on to the ball, then he earns himself some playoff touches. If he fumbles again, you gotta shut him down. And then you ride Jamaal like Seattle Slew (although, you do that either way).

Worst verbiage in the NFL rule book - This whole catch/fumble/incomplete nonsense. Hemingway's "incompletion" yesterday looked identical to when Marcus Cooper poked the ball free from Bills WR T.J. Graham earlier this season (returned for a TD by Tamba). It's so inconsistent and I think it's because of the wording. Here's how Mike Periera explained that call on Twitter yesterday: "...it's maintaining control long enough to perform an act common to the game."Um, what? Like...running? Or...falling down? Or pointing a finger at another player in vain? (NO, THAT'S 15 YARDS AND A $50 DONATION TO THE HUMAN FUND!) Simplify the damn rule. Nobody knows what's a catch anymore.

Worst game - Geoff Schwartz. The offensive line played bad as a whole (we miss you, Branden), but Schwartz was particularly awful, almost out of nowhere. Perhaps a bit of a two-face? I'm still sticking with him over Asamoah, but he might be a starter you see play next week to get back on track.

Best thing to avoid against Indy - Turnovers, apparently. Both Colts touchdowns came after Chiefs turnovers. And both came almost immediately, on 2-play and 3-play drives. So, uh, don't turn it over next time? Andy should probably hire me after this pontification.

Best nuance to remember if we meet again - The Chiefs stuffed the Colts on 3rd and 1 twice, or as Trent Richardson likes to call it, "a good run."

Best hit of the day - Jamaal Charles's truck stick after Alex Smith's INT fumble. Maybe he could've tackled Donald Brown.

Worst fanLebron James. Who knew this guy was capable of crushing a fan base like the way he done did Chiefs Nation this week? Blame Lebron.

Long live Greg Manusky,

His Dirkness

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