I've noticed a disturbing trend here on Arrowhead pride the last four years or so that I passionately feel needs to be addressed,
namely that I am not being included among the "elite" contributors.As we all know, "not being elite" = dirtbag. I have noticed that the "elite" contributors either get flagged, are labeled trolls, or are told to f**k off. While upamtn, hmills, (and perhaps mnchiefs (although I may have to flag him myself (once I research the technique) to ensure he is (rightfully) included on this list)) have received the "elite" treatment, I have routinely been overlooked.
After much soul searching, it became obvious to me in about 15 seconds, that I was not the culprit in this debacle. After all, my biannual articles and my four comments per week are packed with insightful commentary of an existential nature far exceeding that of the common posters here. Indeed, I am the world's best Chiefs' fan. The fact that my co-workers and acquaintances no longer invite me to their game day parties does nothing to diminish that.
Further, I would like to remind all those who ignore me that my controversial ideas are firmly rooted in the facts. It's not as if I do not do my due diligence, alliterations notwithstanding. Although I do check the NFL standings two or three times a month, I know they do not tell the whole story. For example, I firmly believe the Chiefs will never win the Super Bowl with Derrick Thomas, Will Shields, Willie Roaf, or Priest Holmes. You can take that to the BANK. But if they ever do, I promise to take my ball and go home.
No, the real reason Arrowhead Pride folks have not given me my due is because of some exotic character defect found among the Chiefs fans here. However, that does not mean I cannot step up my game. After researching this problem I have learned that the keys to getting flagged are Add Hominy attacks. So without further ado, ( I will also add that the Chiefs will never win the SuperBowl with Dan Marino either, (hate me all you want)) the following is my grand entrance into "elite" status:
There, I said it.A recent non-biased poll by the Idaho Potato Commission http://www.foodreference.com/html/a209-favorite-veges.html found that 75% percent of Americans listed Potatoes as their favorite vegetable. As we all know (right?) hominy is made from corn, and corn came way down on the list with only 19% claiming it was their favorite. Numbers don't lie. I'm sure we can all agree that corn will never make it to the Super Bowl of vegetables. To make hominy, field corn is dried, then treated by soaking and cooking the grain in a dilute solution of slaked lime (calcium hydroxide) or wood ash, a process termed nixtamalization. So, unless you are a big fan of nixtamalization, you must come around to the inevitable conclusion that hominy sucks. Just the idea of adding hominy makes me sick!
Finally, I want to say that although I desire "elite" status here with all my soul, I will not beg nor intentionally provoke being flagged (Lin Elliot, Lin Elliot, Lin Elliot) by making comments such as "I'm glad they started Elvis" or "They should have let Larry Johnson get the rushing record". I would never stoop that low.