Last week at halftime I raced to the grocery store in search of wonderful depression numbing alcohol. This week, going into half time down only 4, I sat glued to the screen, clinging to a hope that I was convinced was too good to be true. I made the decision to avoid the game day thread this week for a couple different reasons. The number one reason being that I am one of those superstitious fans. I battle the feelings of helpless by adjusting how and where I watch the chiefs, convince that if I find the right mixture of clothing, food, and seating arrangement, the chiefs will find a way to win. Since we were crushed the last two weeks while I followed chief hatred online, I decided to change things up by leaving my laptop closed the entire game. And boy was I right! Right?
Quarter One (13:52) Chiefs defense completely breaks down and loses contain of the hobbit. Sproles runs for a gain of 47 yards. I grit my teeth, walk upstairs to the kitchen and even though it’s only 10:10 here on the west coast, I crack open a Bud Light Platinum – the more alcohol bang for your buck.
Quarter One (12:23) Brees throws a TD pass to Lance Moore. I guzzle the rest of beer one but quietly thank God that I started Moore in my fantasy team.
Quarter One (5:01) After watching the chiefs put together a well executed drive only to end with a Baldwin circus drop and a Succop field goal, I crack open another.
Quarter One (4:06 & 2:46) Brees displays a cool sense of calm with two deep throws on 2 different 3rd downs. I start to think that I am going to run out of beer by halftime.
Quarter One ends and the Chiefs hold them to a field goal. For now, I think.
Quarter Two (13:39) Chiefs do their patented run, run, incomplete pass, punt play calling. Drink.
Quarter Two (10:53) Saints punt. Seriously? An opponent punting? I scoot closer to the TV and rub the dust from my eyes.
Quarter Two (6:30) Saints punt again. HOLY CRAP! We brought our defense to the game this week!
Quarter Two (4:46) Chiefs kick a field goal after two long incomplete passes to Bowe. Why can’t these two figure it out?
Quarter Two (0:08) Saints miss a field goal. Hmm…
Quarter Three (14:57) I scream. Then scream again watching an arm bend in a way that just should not happen. I listen to commentators say how McCluster gives himself up and how the fumble should not count. I watch the substitute zebras award the Saints possession of the ball. I scream. I scream again. Then I drink two beers.
Quarter Three (13:14) Brees throws a pass that my grandma could make. Touchdown. I drink another beer and start a letter to Roger Goodell about how he and his crap eating refs have crushed my sanity.
Quarter Three (6:31) I watch the best starting backup QB in football throw a pick. I yell. My thumb wavers over the power button and I almost give up on them. Almost.
Quarter Three (5:41) Saints TD. I go for a short walk. A walk I regret.
Quarter Three (2:43) I come back to the TV to see a replay of Routt intercepting Brees. I think, “is this our first turnover this year?” Too little too late I suppose. Then I notice the score. How do we have 13 points? A graphic comes on the screen the clues me in. Charles is the man. I think to myself, maybe I should stay away. Maybe I’m bad luck. But I can’t. I stay.
Quarter Four (9:16) Two more field goals. Better than nothing I guess but why can’t we get in the f-ing endzone!
Quarter Four (7:57) Saints three and out. I start to feel that something special is happening.
Quarter Four (6:26) Chief three and out. Nevermind… same ol’ chiefs…
Quarter Four (5:40) Safety? A flash of Derrick Thomas jumps in my head. Could this be happening?
Quarter Four (0:08) A beautiful drive, that may show a confused Crennel at times but ultimately contained some great plays including a game saving 4th down and 5 (In which I initially screamed when the punt team came onto the field then cheered when Crennel’s confusing timeout forces the offense back onto the field) a milking of the game clock and a game tying field goal. Wow.
OT: We win the coin flip. From the way I react, my wife thinks we won the game.
OT (11:58) A beautiful punt and coverage leads to another Brees 4 and out. Nice! This is ours to lose!
OT (6:32) Snap. Hold. Kick…. I cover my face. It’s good! It’s good! How the Hell? It’s good. My son and I dance around the room. Who Dat? CHIEFS!!! DAT WHO!
Postgame: I talk my wife into driving me to the grocery store. I drank too much to drive but I need more beer. And I’ve got some celebrating to do!
Three hours later: Raiders win. Damn it.
What’s your celebratory drink of choice tonight?
Happy Hangover! Don’t forget to check out BroSports Podcast this Thursday. You can bet we’ll be talking Chiefs after this one!