FanPost

A Tribute to AP's Funniest Comments (March-May)

Back in February MtHammer produced this amazingly timely and humorous representation of A Year in the LIfe of AP'ers Predictions. If you haven't read it, do so. It's a glorious reflection of AP at it best and at times zaniest. Taking inspiration from that I began to catalogue some of AP's funnier threads and comments. I figured I'd do it (similarly to MtHammer) for a year or so and see what I came away with. In my naivety I didn't realize just how large an undertaking that would become. AP as it turns out (surprise surprise, you didn't see this coming ECT?) is a damn funny place.

It's not every post, or article. It's not most of the Open Threads as I usually am not on them. It's not a lot of things. Yet after only around 3 months of this I have 13 pages of a Word doc and it's only expanding. And that's 13 pages of the comments that made me laugh out loud. But as time went on I began to realize how large this beast was going to get. The proverbial Goliath.

I realize I don't have all of the best comment quotes. I realize that I'll have missed a lot of 3rd Shift shenanigans as I'm not usually on those threads. And I realize that the poll is gynormous. But I needed to get this ball rolling.

SIDE NOTE: (If you want to dive right into it, then NOW would be the time to do so. All of those glorious posts and retorts are below the jump. However I'm going to rattle on a bit about the background of this FanPost. Just wanted to give fair warning. And as no FanPost would be complete - at least when TC is involved - without a Poll, I have included the best <perhaps, ok not really the best, but maybe the longest?> Poll at the very bottom. Enjoy). Oh and I kind of love how this is a snipped of AP historical documenting in how fans change their signature lines throughout, who's thinking about what, when, and what's universally funny no matter when. END SIDE NOTE

Well that was the beginning of June. There were three main reasons that this wasn't posted earlier (hey ECT this is all off topic and I want to read the damn thing already! - Yeah I know, but I'm not a non-sequitur in training for nothing).

First off, it was the editing. OK, mostly it was the editing. And it still is just meh, in my opinion. I really do apologize abou it. But what can you do? I wanted to get the threads and specifically the responses in order with proper formatting - ie the indents and font sizing, and every time I tried to do so, whether I went in through the Word Clipboard Icon or not, I'd get the same thing happening. No indenting, all the same font size, etc. It made reading it (I thought), harder. Secondly none of the images that were originally in the threads, and in my Word Doc were coming through. More editing ensued. Finally, I left for a family trip to Europe and then a friend's wedding in Vail, and I'm only home for a few days before I'm off again to Seattle for two weeks of work. So the FanPost is just now happening.

If you have any suggestions regarding the editing, let me know, I figured out half way through that if you cut and pasted from the original source, then it came out perfectly. But man that's a lot of work. I can't seem to do anything with the added spaces. Otherwise have at it. I'll try to keep these going semi-regularly, but as I am gone all summer, and then the Football and Teaching year starts (yay for the end of my...Ahem..., Sabbatical!), depending on your responses we shall see when the next one happens.

Last thing, I can't really tell if these are funny anymore as I have looked at them soo often and been editing, or attempting to for what feels like a long time. Hopefully some being completely out of context, some being threads, and some being written by straight up witty and intelligent AP'ers they will make you smile and belly achingly laugh as much as they did me at one time. So let me know if this is as brilliant an idea as I originally thought...

March 2012

I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.

Chrome users should check out this and that.

by Tarkus on Mar 26, 2012 12:55 PM MDT up reply action

This post will be dedicated to the awesomeness that Upamtn

displays each and every day and on each and every fanpost, fanshot and story that hits this site.

BJ Kissel Mar 26, 2012


Needs a poll

Worst fanpost ever.

This is my signature line. It is full of awesome and win. - SAVANT, TBD, SAVANT, SAVANT, SAVANT, TBD, TBD

by KC_Satchmo on Mar 25, 2012 7:57 AM MDT reply actions

needs more conservative references

How can you write a post about ups without mentioning his staunch support for santorum and his avid fanship of glenn beck?

I love my wife, my kids, and the Chiefs. In that order. Except on game days.
I am the Master of Hyperenthetical Asiditry (you know, like this. Only more)

by MNchiefsfan on Mar 25, 2012 1:35 PM MDT

You know, I was really hoping to develop a good solid drinking problem.

And with you guys reminding me of all the specifics of our monumental failures last season, I think that just may do it.

Jerks.

The Matt Cassel of Kooky

by TRSChief on Mar 27, 2012 12:39 PM MDT

My grandpa said it best. Baseball is an old man's game.

You can watch the first inning, take an hour long nap, wake up for the 8th and 9th and not have missed a damn thing.

by mushin on Mar 28, 2012 1:27 PM MDT


But the most popular meme on AP right now is

that we are NOT going to lose anybody on the O line, if ONLY we draft Ups' son DeCastro.

When you gotta go in the lion's den, you don't go quiet. You go in loud, kick the door down and say WHERE IS THE SONUVABITCH. -B. Billick

by Brsrkr on Mar 28, 2012 4:47


or stash 1 on the practice squad

2010 = The beginning of a dynasty
President of the anti-Matt Cassel bandwagon

by ChiefWildcat on Mar 29, 2012 10:41 AM MDT

where he's be snapped up by another team in 12 seconds

Twisted Lord of AP Color Commentary (H/T - Loco) - Hi, Mo! 5 Minutes!!!
"I shall conquer untruth by truth" - Mahatma Gandhi
"It's always easier to sell 'em some shit than it is to give 'em the truth" - Shel Silverstein, The Perfect High

by upamtn on Mar 29, 2012 10:52 AM MDT

Give or take 12 seconds.

Chrome users should check out this and that.


by Tarkus on Mar 29, 2012 10:56 AM MDT

Mostly take.

"[Jamaal Charles] probably fights crime in his spare time while inhaling carbon emissions, exhaling oxygen, and crapping oil. That’s how awesome he is. Not just good for the Chiefs, but America."
- MNchiefsfan


by MtHammer on Mar 29, 2012 10:58 AM MDT

I'll give you that.

Chrome users should check out this and that.


by Tarkus on Mar 29, 2012 11:00 AM MDT

I'm not sure about your lack of sureness

I love my wife, my kids, and the Chiefs. In that order. Except on game days.
I am the Master of Hyperenthetical Asiditry (you know, like this. Only more)


by MNchiefsfan on Mar 29, 2012 10:49 AM MDT

	 Possibly.
	 Or not.
 		The Matt Cassel of Kooky

		 by TRSChief on Mar 29, 2012 10:56 AM MDT  
 		But...
		You could or could not be.
			I think we missed a turn back there somewhere...
			by Zif on Mar 29, 2012 11:11 AM MDT   
 			Do or do not........ There is no try.

craig in calgary ‏ @Teeeenwolf Shut up Horseface.


by Eastcoastransplant on Mar 29, 2012 3:47 PM MDT

I disagree that you disagree.

and I may decide to yell about it whilst omitting vowels, no telling.

by u2nspenserfan on Mar 29, 2012 10:43 AM MDT up reply actions

or not?
	The Matt Cassel of Kooky
	by TRSChief on Mar 29, 2012 10:53 AM MDT up reply actions  
 		   	WHT THE FCK?
		 your qustion confusng.
	    What's the difference between jelly and jam?
by WestonK on Mar 29, 2012 10:54 AM MDT up reply actions 
  			  I agree. Kind of.
			 Or maybe not.
				      The Matt Cassel of Kooky
					by TRSChief on Mar 29, 2012 10:57 AM MDT up reply actions  
well crap, you can use the mouse to make comments green?

I’ve gone through so many green highlighters and monitor cleaning supplies.

NOW you tell me.

The Matt Cassel of Kooky


by TRSChief on Mar 29, 2012 10:55 AM MDT

April 2012
I know its hard to believe...

but my bong is longer than your signature line

A white man's Heavan is a black man's Hell

by HIV2 Elway on Apr 4, 2012 12:05 PM MDT

Good intentions and good faith will find you with a knife in your back, when

the other guy has bad intentions and bad faith.

It takes two to make peace. It only takes one to start a fight.

As to the weather thing: Bullshit. We’re both blogging, so we’re not enjoying outdoor activities.

would of ≠ would've

by hmills110 on Apr 8, 2012 11:04 AM MDT up reply actions


Yeah, I'd be totally confused.

I’d be pissed, then comptempletive, then accepting, then optimistic, then pissed again. Cycle would repeat every eight seconds until the season starts.

I’d be like that depression-era grandma that everybody has who keeps washing her used tin foil

even though her grandkids are giving her cars for Christmas.

Oh my God I just threw the Venus on the spider three Y banana.

by Brsrkr on Apr 9, 2012 10:49 AM MDT
Granny Brsrkr

has a nice ring yo it :-)

Twisted Lord of AP Color Commentary (H/T - Loco) - Hi, Mo! 5 Minutes!!!
"I shall conquer untruth by truth" - Mahatma Gandhi
"It's always easier to sell 'em some shit than it is to give 'em the truth" - Shel Silverstein, The Perfect High

by upamtn on Apr 9, 2012 10:54 AM MDT up reply actions

			  Grannys
			   are badass. Mine taught me how to kill a goat with my bare hands

Grannyclampett-729655_medium

  				via 4.bp.blogspot.com

by Brsrkr on Apr 9, 2012 11:07 AM MDT up reply actions

		Isn't Jeff Ireland.

Approve.

Cynical, glass half empty Chief fan.

by severn58 on Apr 10, 2012 10:15 AM MDT

Anyone who didn’t drink heavily during those games is someone I’d be suspicious of. (Take that, English language! I ended in a preposition!)

The Matt Cassel of Kooky

by TRSChief on Apr 10, 2012 11:08 AM MDT

Not really

It’s one of the few spots there may be some stability in. With all the rabid speculation of who’s going where and why, gets a little old about now. Truth be told, 98% of us would have a better shot at picking out what color panties LadyChief is wearing on any given day than who they are gonna pick first. Bunch of smoke and mirrors, isn’t it?

" It's often better to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission"

by DFisr722 on Apr 10, 2012 9:48 PM MDT

Just because he is on the bench does not mean he cannot still be yelled at. I vote b-rich for scapegoat 2013

Yay to QB compitition Pffft


by BDCinSA on Apr 11, 2012 7:31 AM MDT

Tannehill overkill

Dude is roadkill pigswill. Belongs in a landfill. Aint worth a dollar bill. Qb position he will not fill. Confidence he will not instill. Draft him and Chiefs go downhill. AP just needs to chill.

by ArrowDread on Apr 11, 2012 8:48 AM MDT

I was with you until that bit about testicular cancer.

Cassel > Tannehill > testicular cancer.

by Jaywalk3r on Apr 11, 2012 11:01 AM MDT

Isn't your God invisible?

Do you approve of Him?

"I'm speechless." Three sentences from now. -Drew Brees


by neiowakcfan on Apr 11, 2012 10:53 AM MDT up reply actions

…jesus christ

Cynical, glass half empty Chief fan.

by severn58 on Apr 11, 2012 10:55 AM MDT up reply actions

I think

he’s playing for the Jets now

					   by AnkenyChiefsFan on Apr 11, 2012 11:04 AM MD
		X					  Th_slavei-1_medium

via th158.photobucket.com

Firs of all, you throwin' too many big words at me, and because I don't understand

them, I'm gonna take 'em disrespect...


by SFLChief on Apr 11, 2012 11:12 AM MDT Perfect!

Chrome users should check out this and that.


by Tarkus on Apr 11, 2012 11:14 AM MDT up reply actions

Grrrr,

I look forward to seeing this on a non-work computer

Got nothing but the little "X" box

Cynical, glass half empty Chief fan.


by severn58 on Apr 11, 2012 11:18 AM MDT up reply actions

			Man
			makes his God in his own image.

By Brsrkr on Apr 11, 2012 11:09 AM MDT up reply actions

Mine must be an average, out of shape, white dude that loves the Chiefs then.

$1000 to Tamba if he takes out Manning. Oh...wait...

by ARROWHEADSHANE on Apr 11, 2012 11:12 AM MDT
Thusfar hasn't developed Diabetes.

Approve

Twitter: @teeeenwolf

by craig in calgary on Apr 11, 2012 10:39 AM MDT

did not get suspended for the entire season

approve

D-Bowe says: "THAT'S MY BIKE, PUNK!!!!"

by reedeasy on Apr 11, 2012 10:43 AM MDT

We're still talking about this?

Huge Chiefs fan and a flaming Hosmersexual.
Swag swag swag swag

by ExRoyalsFan on Apr 11, 2012 11:14 AM MDT reply actions

We had stopped until that comment.

/and now this one

Chrome users should check out this and that.

by Tarkus on Apr 11, 2012 11:15 AM MDT up reply actions

And now this one.

/Queue 100+ additional comments over the next hour.

"[Jamaal Charles] probably fights crime in his spare time while inhaling carbon emissions, exhaling oxygen, and crapping oil. That’s how awesome he is. Not just good for the Chiefs, but America."
- MNchiefsfan

by MtHammer on Apr 11, 2012 11:16 AM MDT up reply actions

99+ comments

Huge Chiefs fan and a flaming Hosmersexual.

Swag swag swag swag

by ExRoyalsFan on Apr 11, 2012 11:23 AM MDT

Also, are you trying to make slashies a thing on AP?

/because if so, I approve

"[Jamaal Charles] probably fights crime in his spare time while inhaling carbon emissions, exhaling oxygen, and crapping oil. That’s how awesome he is. Not just good for the Chiefs, but America."
- MNchiefsfan

by MtHammer on Apr 11, 2012 11:17 AM MDT up reply actions

I think he is

/not 100% sure what it means

Huge Chiefs fan and a flaming Hosmersexual.
Swag swag swag swag

by ExRoyalsFan on Apr 11, 2012 11:24 AM MDT up reply actions

Whatever do you mean?

/slashes > #hashtags

Chrome users should check out this and that.

by Tarkus on Apr 11, 2012 11:25 AM MDT up reply actions

I'm 100% behind you on this.

/In fact, I always liked the Fark.com style of being way too liberal with slashies
//They just keep adding more and more until it gets truly ridiculous
///Every new side point ends up getting a new row
////You know what I mean?

"[Jamaal Charles] probably fights crime in his spare time while inhaling carbon emissions, exhaling oxygen, and crapping oil. That’s how awesome he is. Not just good for the Chiefs, but America."
- MNchiefsfan

by MtHammer on Apr 11, 2012 11:28 AM MDT up reply actions

Im still opposed to slashies and hashtags.

byMontana Chief on Apr 11, 2012 11:37 AM MDT via mobile up reply actions


													I hate you.

/kidding
//or am I?

Chrome users should check out this and that.

by Tarkus on Apr 11, 2012 11:46 AM MDT up reply actions

/I think you are

//or are you?

$1000 to Tamba if he takes out Manning. Oh...wait..

by ARROWHEADSHANE on Apr 11, 2012 11:49 AM MDT

Matt Cassel isn’t going anywhere and is gonna prove himself this next year! I promise you that!

by javim100 on Apr 17, 2012 7:55 AM MDT

Is this your mock draft?

Mock drafts now include depth chart changes. No. I think Branden Albert’s a pretty solid tackle in the league.

I love this response.

It says, ‘What are you? Stupid? Leave the job of GM and coach to the guys with the titles in front of their names’ without actually coming right out and saying it.

by JacinB on Apr 17, 2012 7:58 AM MDT

Dammit I love me some Romeo

Funnier than Herm…
Less batshit than Todd… If we could only catch him crying about

something in the locker room, he could give Vermiel a run too.

Now… you’ve got me hooked Romeo, please help this team be a winner so I can enjoy you for years to come.

by Ochophosphate on Apr 17, 2012 7:17 AM MDT

If he makes Rivers and Manning cry, would that count?

by km230015 on Apr 17, 2012 7:20 AM MDT

Does Rivers have to physically cry?

Cause he "cries" in every game no matter what – so that won’t be hard.

If he makes Manning cry that absolutely counts.

by Ochophosphate on Apr 17, 2012 7:47 AM MDT

Whining is not crying

by dubld on Apr 17, 2012 8:21 AM MDT

turtles are not cats

by shaytron on Apr 17, 2012 8:34 AM MDT


Bad logic. The #3 QB prospect this year is a 3rd round type prospect.

Just bad, bad reasoning all the way around….you are basically picking Tannehill because you’re out of other options and are too impatient to hold your wad for a year.

"I was hoping to buy my daughter a brand new Volvo/tank to take to college. But this car lot is totally out of Volvo/tanks,

the next car lot is AAAAALLL the way on the next block, and I can afford this Pinto right now. Do I smell smoke?"

Oh my God I just threw the Venus on the spider three Y banana.

by Brsrkr on Apr 16, 2012 2:18 PM MDT

ok, so I'm supposed to like say something here, right? about t he bestest breakdown post EVER of all time in the annals of football breakdowns ... I'm supposed to say something?

there is no possible way that I can say or think of anything that would do this gem true justice …

the find on blocking alone is worth 5 train wrecks seriously, \car wrecks, train wrecks, ship wrecks …

the entire accumulated rubble of all Mankind doesn’t do justice to

this magnificent effort, and I am truly and forever humbled by the greatness that is MNchiefsfan, the very bestest breakdown guy ever

and MN … thank you for you doing this! can’t wait for the season to get going to we can see Dex in the MIX of things

with Charles and Hillis … everyone healthy this year? oh yeah, this should be MAJOR fun!

Twisted Lord of AP Color Commentary (H/T - Loco) - Hi, Mo! 5 Minutes!!!
"I shall conquer untruth by truth" - Mahatma Gandhi
"It's always easier to sell 'em some shit than it is to give 'em the truth" - Shel Silverstein, The Perfect High

by upamtn on Apr 12, 2012 10:49 AM MDT

succint? you???

excuse me for a moment, I’ll be right back after a fit of hysterical laughter …

Twisted Lord of AP Color Commentary (H/T - Loco) - Hi, Mo! 5 Minutes!!!
"I shall conquer untruth by truth" - Mahatma Gandhi
"It's always easier to sell 'em some shit than it is to give 'em the truth" - Shel Silverstein, The Perfect High

upamtn Apr 12, 2012 2:40 PM MDT

Let's talk in depth about that...

I love my wife, my kids, and the Chiefs. In that order. Except on game days.
I am the Master of Hyperenthetical Asiditry (you know, like this. Only more)

by MNchiefsfan on Apr 12, 2012 2:42 PM MDT

SO SICK OF THAT ARGUMENT!!!

Ok, whew, that is out of my system. But if I have to hear again how Palko was "preferred over Stanzi", I may have to club a baby seal.

by AnkenyChiefsFan on Apr 16, 2012 9:11 PM MDT

More like apples to crabapples

Your comparing apples to PEARS.

The crabapple kind of looks like an apple and looks like it might be all right to eat, it’s got potential.

\So you spend a bunch of time and energy collecting them, only to finally take a bite and find out they taste like shit

and leave you sick to your stomach.

by Everest on Apr 17, 2012 9:40 AM MDT

Tannehill is a waste of a draft pick

I want a franchise QB more than anyone. But I don’t want to throw a turd against the wall and see if it sticks. Tannehill is going to be a bust. Quote me on that

'' if you’re expecting something to look real fancy or nice, I don’t think that’s what you’re going to see here with this Chiefs team'', Todd Haley

Aint that the truth

by saints_chiefsfan1979 on Apr 16, 2012 10:01 PM MDT

Honestly I want a franchise QB as much as anyone but I don’t blame Pioli for passing on a high round QB in the last few drafts

as the classes have been pretty weak. This class has two legit prospects in Luck and RG3 and then falls off a cliff, hanging from a smal

l shrub 3/4’s of the way down is Tannehill.

by Everest on Apr 17, 2012 1:05 AM MDT

There's an awful lot of not-getting-it going around. If I have 80 grand to spend and I want a new Mercedes CLS550, but the dealership is sold out and needs to back order it –

I’m not going to rush over to the Kia dealer and give them that 80 grand for a Rio just because OMG I HAVE TO HAVE A CAR RIGHT NOW!

by TRSChief on Apr 17, 2012 7:03 AM MDT

You dont get it, sir! by market maker on Apr 17, 2012 7:32 AM MDT I get it so much,
		it so much, it's already paid for and sitting on the shelf collecting dus.
                          by TRSChief on Apr 17, 2012 7:38 AM MDT 
Arguing with yourself.....probably a sign that this thread has gone on entirely too long.....

Oh my God I just threw the Venus on the spider three Y banana.

by Brsrkr on Apr 17, 2012 3:57 PM MDT

We could.

And if Pioli can manage to trade out of the #11 and get a 2013 first round pick, then we should just officially name him the King of KC

and build him a fucking castle. I’d be his personal chauffeur.

Unrelated, but I want to brag: Holy crap, I spelled chauffeur on my first try

"saints_chiefsfan1979 is a genius" - yes, I lost a bet.

by Tomahawk29 on Apr 17, 2012 12:34 PM MDT

Now all we have to do is win some football games.

Would someone please kick Matt Cassel in the ass, put the ball cap on his head for him, and tell him the idea is to CROSS the goal-line.

"The Hammer"

by G.L. on Apr 17, 2012 6:06 PM MDT

the point of the game is

		to cross the goal line? You just blew my mind

by I drink red kool aid Apr 17, 2012 6:09 PM MDT

Troy hits Peyton.

Both go on IR after the game.

Atlanta Braves CoffeeshopChiefs NationTarkus+

by Tarkus on Apr 17, 2012 6:43 PM MDT

Didn't Inky wear 14 in college?

by RamX21 on Apr 19, 2012 1:51 PM MDT via mobile actions

I think that was Scratchy.

Atlanta Braves CoffeeshopChiefs NationTarkus+

by Tarkus on Apr 19, 2012 1:57 PM MDT up actions

Or was that Pinky?

And the Brain?

AP's resident gif poster - for your viewing pleasure.

by Eastcoastransplant on Apr 19, 2012 2:46 PM MDT up actions

You heathens.

Blinky, Pinky, and Clyde are the names you’re looking for.

Oh my God I just threw the Venus on the spider three Y banana.

by Brsrkr on Apr 19, 2012 3:00 PM MDT up actions

How they came to be?

Meh...
@ChiefBlindersOn

by Chief-blinders-on on Apr 19, 2012 3:10 PM MDT

It blows my mind how stupid AP readers are. Basic reading comprehension. Great work Chris!

by Chef's Kitchen on Apr 19, 2012 1:59 PM MDT actions 3 recs

X

Boy I tell ya, I really hope we don’t take take Tannehill in a week, that guys the next Akili Smith, let’s discuss.

Cynical, glass half empty Chief fan.

by severn58 on Apr 19, 2012 2:04 PM MDT actions 4 recs

What did you say?

You can't be fat and fast, too; so lift, run, diet and work.
Hank Stram

"Winning isn't everything, but it beats anything that comes in second."
--Paul "Bear" Bryant

by 65 Toss Power Trap83 on Apr 19, 2012 2:08 PM MDT up actions

Didnt Berry wear a....um...oooo...red dress...at...um...wow....uh....Tennessee?

Wait….what just happened?

To make a bad day worse, spend it wishing for the impossible.

I've had the same dream every night this week. I think it means that the spring season flopped and my subconscious has gone into reruns.

by chiefsandcigars on Apr 19, 2012 2:10 PM MDT up actions

rec whore

Oh my God I just threw the Venus on the spider three Y banana.

by Brsrkr on Apr 19, 2012 2:33 PM MDT up actions

Let me just pick up my tongue

as it rolls around listlessly on the floor.

AP's resident gif poster - for your viewing pleasure.

by Eastcoastransplant on Apr 19, 2012 2:50 PM MDT up actions

I'm soooo ready for Avengers...

And soooo worried it’s going to suck… and yet, Scarlett makes everything better.

2012 Chiefs Draft: 1st - G DeCastro or NT Poe, 2nd - NT Ta'amu or G Zeitler, 3rd -S Martin or ILB Acho, 4th - RB Pierce or ILB Burfict, 5th - WR AJ Jenkins or RB Gannaway, 6th DE Wolfe or OLB Vernon, 7th ST fodder.

by Falcon58 on Apr 19, 2012 2:58 PM MDT up actions

Nah, should be good as long as Downey gets a majority of the screen time

After Scarlett of course.

Cynical, glass half empty Chief fan.

by severn58 on Apr 19, 2012 4:11 PM MDT up actions

Huh..........................

Yay to QB compitition Pffft

by BDCinSA on Apr 19, 2012 3:00 PM MDT up actions

You know he wore 14 at Tennessee, right?

by dbakerku on Apr 19, 2012 2:05 PM MDT actions

...

I kind of hope you’re joking, but the joke’s already been made like 14 times if so.

by u2nspenserfan on Apr 19, 2012 2:13 PM MDT up actions

It was actually made 29 times once when he was in college, I think.

Bold prediction: Alameda Ta'amu will be selected before Dontari Poe or jcgokc owns my sig line

by RedNose on Apr 19, 2012 2:16 PM MDT up actions

C'mon man.
by JacinB on Apr 19, 2012 2:16 PM MDT up actions  




What primary needs?
It just doesn’t feel like they really addressed any of their primary needs in this draft or landed any high-impact players.

QB is probably #1, but there were no good options. NT was the second biggest need, and that was addressed with the very first pick. After that was OG, which was addressed with the second pick, and ILB, which isn’t a huge need. Following that, they needed depth as S, RB and WR, all of which they accomplished. They needed a swing tackle and possible future LT, and they accomplished that.

You can quibble with the choices they made, but to say they didn’t address their primary needs is just downright ignorant.

Atlanta Braves CoffeeshopChiefs NationTarkus+

by Tarkus on Apr 29, 2012 8:25 AM MDT actions 1 recs

yeah!

and he kicks dogs too!

the expat formally known as Chiefsinchina

by Shanghai_Chiefs on Apr 29, 2012 8:32 AM MDT up actions

Obviously.

Atlanta Braves CoffeeshopChiefs NationTarkus+

by Tarkus on Apr 29, 2012 8:36 AM MDT up actions

911 psycho nazi pedo-rapist too

the expat formally known as Chiefsinchina

by Shanghai_Chiefs on Apr 29, 2012 8:40 AM MDT up actions

Clearly.

Atlanta Braves CoffeeshopChiefs NationTarkus+

by Tarkus on Apr 29, 2012 8:45 AM MDT up actions




Kiper's hair:

A+

I eat nails for breakfast, tacks for snacks, and I sh*t nickel.

by SupremeChief on Apr 29, 2012 7:53 AM MDT

Agreed

Bask in it’s glory friends, judging by it’s noticeable thinness this weekend, it won’t be with us much longer.

Cynical, glass half empty Chief fan.

by severn58 on Apr 29, 2012 8:16 AM MDT

And we'll all die just a little bit in the inside

by mushin on Apr 29, 2012 8:39 AM MDT

Fuck kiper by chieftimbob on Apr 29, 2012 8:14 AM MDT Man, it'll take a lot of beer.

And even then, probably not.

The Matt Cassel of Kooky

by TRSChief on Apr 29, 2012 8:44 AM MDT

I'm sorry, you might have been making some very good points

But maybe try making them on a computer instead of mashing your forehead into your blackberry

Twitter: @teeeenwolf

by craig in calgary on Apr 29, 2012 9:51 AM MDT


Beef is good.

D-Bowe says: "THAT'S MY BIKE, PUNK!!!!"

by reedeasy on Apr 29, 2012 9:52 AM MDT via mobile up actions

It's what's for dinner.

Atlanta Braves CoffeeshopChiefs NationTarkus\

by Tarkus on Apr 29, 2012 9:59 AM MDT up actions

Can I send it back and order something else?

"If people don't want to come out to the ballpark, how are you gonna stop them?" ~Yogi Berra~

by TheK-man on Apr 29, 2012 10:35 AM MDT up actions

No, if you don't eat yer meat, you can't have any pudding!

Atlanta Braves CoffeeshopChiefs NationTarkus+

by Tarkus on Apr 29, 2012 10:37 AM MDT up actions 1 recs

They already served me 6 puddings.

"If people don't want to come out to the ballpark, how are you gonna stop them?" ~Yogi Berra~

by TheK-man on Apr 29, 2012 10:51 AM MDT up actions

How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?

CHIEFS DYNASTY – we’re kind of a big deal

by kabrink on Apr 29, 2012 11:26 AM MDT up actions 1 recs

wrong

do it again.

D-Bowe says: "THAT'S MY BIKE, PUNK!!!!"

by reedeasy on Apr 29, 2012 11:31 AM MDT via mobile up actions

really?

CHIEFS DYNASTY – we’re kind of a big deal

by kabrink on Apr 29, 2012 12:09 PM MDT up actions


certainly not

feel free to fly off the handle and make rash, irrational judgments based on missing and/or incomplete data like many others :-)

Twisted Lord of AP Color Commentary (H/T - Loco) - Hi, Mo! 5 Minutes!!!
"I shall conquer untruth by truth" - Mahatma Gandhi "It's always easier to sell 'em some shit than it is to give 'em the truth" - Shel Silverstein, The Perfect High

by upamtn on Apr 29, 2012 10:58 AM MDT

Many of us were DeCastrated by Ups.

Atlanta Braves CoffeeshopChiefs NationTarkus+

by Tarkus on Apr 29, 2012 10:21 AM MDT

Something about if certain linebackers can play 4-3..

Then Dorsey should be able to play nose. Didn't we put this one to rest a couple

years a ago?

Angry Red, 'nuff said.

by chiefsfan62 on Apr 29, 2012 10:31 AM MDT

Well, since you can drive a Dodge Pickup, with a 6'' lift and 37-inch tires on the highway, then obviously you can take a Ferrari off-road.

would of ≠ would've

by hmills110 on Apr 29, 2012 1:13 PM MDT

Which of these DBs is actually an S?

Because that’d be my first choice. Anyone is better than Sabby.

2012 Chiefs Draft: 1st - NT Poe - Official pick, 2nd - Osemele G/T, 3rd -S Martin or ILB Kendricks, 4th - RB Pierce or ILB Burfict, 5th - RB Gannaway, 6th DE Wolfe or OLB Vernon, 7th ST fodder.

by Falcon58 on Apr 30, 2012 3:28 PM MDT actions

Menzie.

Oh my God I just threw the Venus on the spider three Y banana.

by Brsrkr on Apr 30, 2012 3:30 PM MDT up actions

+Berry and the guy from Denver.

Atlanta Braves CoffeeshopChiefs NationTarkus+

by Tarkus on Apr 30, 2012 3:30 PM MDT up actions

"The guy from Denver" has a name.

Sheesh. Insensitive.

Oh my God I just threw the Venus on the spider three Y banana.

by Brsrkr on Apr 30, 2012 3:32 PM MDT up actions

Not until I memorize it, he doesn't.

Is it McCarthy or something like that?

Atlanta Braves CoffeeshopChiefs NationTarkus+

by Tarkus on Apr 30, 2012 3:33 PM MDT up actions

HellifIknow.

Oh my God I just threw the Venus on the spider three Y banana.

by Brsrkr on Apr 30, 2012 3:34 PM MDT up actions

It's like Haley with the helmet decals.

He has to make the team before he earns a name.

Atlanta Braves CoffeeshopChiefs NationTarkus+

by Tarkus on Apr 30, 2012 3:34 PM MDT up actions

Then we'll have to figure out a label for Poe until he makes the team.

WW? Workout Weapon?

Oh my God I just threw the Venus on the spider three Y banana.

by Brsrkr on Apr 30, 2012 3:36 PM MDT up actions

The Hoff

in honor of the Baywatch Games.

Atlanta Braves CoffeeshopChiefs NationTarkus+

by Tarkus on Apr 30, 2012 3:37 PM MDT up actions

No. That triggers an uncomfortable mental cross-up between Carmen Electra and Terrence Cody running.

Oh my God I just threw the Venus on the spider three Y banana.

by Brsrkr on Apr 30, 2012 3:39 PM MDT up actions


May 2012

"Boy, I tell ya, that Kendrick Lewis is slooooooow."

“How slow is he?”
“He’s so slow that Chariots of Fire plays when he’s walking!”

Cynical, glass half empty Chief fan.


by severn58 on May 1, 2012 7:13 AM MDT

It's a backwards 29.

He's gonna suck.

FREEDOM!!!

by Tomahawk29 on May 1, 2012 11:19 AM MDT actions

or an upside down 56

He's gonna suck

Go Chiefs!!!!

http://kony2012.com

by ravenhawk on May 1, 2012 11:20 AM MDT up actions

Or 9-2=7

He’s gonna suck

Cynical, glass half empty Chief fan.

by severn58 on May 1, 2012 11:24 AM MDT up actions

Or 9+2=11, a disgusting prime number

<>He's gonna suck</>

by NigerianNightmare on May 1, 2012 11:26 AM MDT up actions

92, the year I got married...

He’s doomed.

--My earliest Chiefs memories are watching guys named Dawson, Podolak, Taylor, Thomas, Bell, and Buchanan. So, yeah...I'm kind of an old fart.

by Scott B. on May 1, 2012 11:30 AM MDT up actions

Or 9 x 2 = 18, Emmitt Thomas

wait, he didn't suck....

AP's resident gif poster - for your viewing pleasure.

by Eastcoastransplant on May 2, 2012 9:35 AM MDT up actions

I hope Gregg comes to training camp for a day as a consultant to show Poe how to jack up his pants to his armpits

Luke Kuechly.... a less athletic version of Cory Greenwood


by Chiefs_KC on May 1, 2012 11:41 AM MDT

That makes 2 Crow Eaters, 1 Savant, 1 Sour Puss, and if you make it to Arrowhead for a game after getting back together with your former slutbag, and bring her along with you... then you can erase all the grades and I'll talk to Chris about letting you add the line "slutbag whore" to your signature.

BTW, if you root for the Chiefs to re-sign Barry Richardson so that you can have bragging rights every Chiefs fan on the planet will curse your first born to club feet and uncontrollable body odor

That was more brutal than your best man accidentally booking your bachelor party at a gay bar because he thought the name of the place sounded like a strip club.

(Dear Baby Jesus, Please bring this guy a new screen name. Amen)

1 for 3. If you were a baseball player you'd bat clean up; unless you were a KC Royal. If you were a KC Royal you'd be traded to another team for 9 farm players, a dozen hot dogs, and $23,000 in cash.

If anyone has managed to read this far down I'd just like to point out that, as usual, I have the top "score." I don't know why you guys and girls ever question me. You should just believe everything I say all the time without ever doubting me for a single second. Either that, or I graded myself on a curve and one reversed grade would make me 50/50.

by Texas Chief on May 1, 2012 9:01 PM MDT

you arrogant bastid! using MY name shamelessly as if it would get you more rec's! (as it should, right?)

THE funniest shit EVER! :-)

btw, I’ve already blocked your number so don’t bother trying to call

Twisted Lord of AP Color Commentary (H/T - Loco) - Hi, Mo! 5 Minutes!!!
"I shall conquer untruth by truth" - Mahatma Gandhi
"It's always easier to sell 'em some shit than it is to give 'em the truth" - Shel Silverstein, The Perfect High


by upamtn on May 1, 2012 10:09 PM MDT

It's not about the grades.. it's about the witty comments

blocked? fine. I’ll just drive to your house and pee on the front door.

The Powers Of Astute Observation Are Often Mistaken As Cynicism By Those That Do Not Posses Them -- G.B. Shaw
-2012 NFL Prognosticator Extraordinaire: Savant, Savant, Crow Eater, Savant


by Texas Chief on May 1, 2012 10:19 PM MDT

I thought I was a wit ...

… turned out I was half right

I’m writing a script for a show about puns, it’s going to be a play on words

Twisted Lord of AP Color Commentary (H/T - Loco) - Hi, Mo! 5 Minutes!!!
"I shall conquer untruth by truth" - Mahatma Gandhi
"It's always easier to sell 'em some shit than it is to give 'em the truth" - Shel Silverstein, The Perfect High


by upamtn on May 1, 2012 10:20 PM MDT

I always have said, the best job in the world is an NFL backup longsnapper.

You get paid 6-figures, you get the best seat in the house, you don’t have to shower after games, you have zero chance of getting hurt, and you are still an NFL “player”. When I went to Lambeau in 2006 I sat next to Green Bay’s backup longsnappers wife who was a solid 9/10. I tells ya, that’s the life for me.

Twitter: @teeeenwolf


by craig in calgary on May 3, 2012 1:49 PM MDT

Your country has milk in bags

Your argument is invalid

I love my wife, my kids, and the Chiefs. In that order. Except on game days.
I am the Master of Hyperenthetical Asiditry (you know, like this. Only more)


by MNchiefsfan on May 3, 2012 7:38 PM MDT

weight gain

you guys are pussies, I’ve gained 10 pounds since February. It’s easy, eat pizza and drink a six pack every night, and don’t do any exercise at all.

by pizzalover on May 8, 2012 7:32 AM MDT

I JUST WANTED TO START A THOUGHT IN ALL CAPS

And then finish it in regular sized text below.

The Matt Cassel of Kooky


by TRSChief on May 8, 2012 6:42 AM MDT

OMG, I get it now.

After all these months of being on AP, I never knew why you named yourself MNChiefsFan. But, your like, from Minnesota.
WTF…

by NigerianNightmare on May 7, 2012 9:51 PM MDT

One word can make a sentence.

The shortest full sentence in the English language is, “no.” It has to do with there being implied subjects and nouns in the sentence. The statement “no” implies the full meaning “I am saying no to the statement/question you just made.”

by Chiefs4Life on May 8, 2012 1:40 PM MDT

Oh.

Atlanta Braves CoffeeshopChiefs NationTarkus+


by Tarkus on May 8, 2012 1:41 PM MDT

Nice.

by Chiefs4Life on May 8, 2012 1:44 PM MDT up reply actions

What?

Oh my God I just threw the Venus on the spider three Y banana.


by Brsrkr on May 8, 2012 2:53 PM MDT

Dear Yahweh, why won't he address his fantasy football value?!

Cynical, glass half empty Chief fan. R.I.P.-Yauch

by severn58 on May 9, 2012 6:26 AM MDT actions 3 recs

Rec'd for keeping your eye on the really important things.

No real than you are.

by TRSChief on May 9, 2012 6:28 AM MD

I'm gonna go break off some manly ass pushups for this thread

I just screamed like a little school girl.
I think I just peed a little.

Cynical, glass half empty Chief fan. R.I.P.-Yauch

by severn58 on May 9, 2012 6:43 AM MDT up actions 1 recs

Stop living a lie!

No real than you are.

by TRSChief on May 9, 2012 6:47 AM MDT up actions

I'm gonna go read 50 Shades of Grey and discuss it with my girlfriends.

Cynical, glass half empty Chief fan. R.I.P.-Yauch

by severn58 on May 9, 2012 6:49 AM MDT up actions

I need to go see what book Oprah is telling me to read, real quick.

No real than you are.

by TRSChief on May 9, 2012 6:50 AM MDT up actions

I havnt been this excited since the last sale at Penny's

To make a bad day worse, spend it wishing for the impossible.

I've had the same dream every night this week. I think it means that the spring season flopped and my subconscious has gone into reruns.

by chiefsandcigars on May 9, 2012 7:03 AM MDT up actions 1 recs

There's a sale at Penny's?!?

No real than you are.

by TRSChief on May 9, 2012 7:15 AM MDT up actions 2 recs

Nowai, did I miss it?!

Cynical, glass half empty Chief fan. R.I.P.-Yauch

by severn58 on May 9, 2012 7:18 AM MDT up actions

Girlfriend, I just heard on the radio that it's going on through the weekend.

No real than you are.

by TRSChief on May 9, 2012 7:35 AM MDT up actions

Bitch for real?! You know I'ma be there after my Zumba class!

Cynical, glass half empty Chief fan. R.I.P.-Yauch

by severn58 on May 9, 2012 8:00 AM MDT up actions

The "No-no huddle offense"

Just another hit brought to you by the same team that gave you other such memorable moments such as:

“draw-draw-bubble screen-punt”
“125 lb quick RB up the gut”
And my favorite
“look at Palko’s hair! That man was made to be a NFL QB”

by mushin on May 9, 2012 11:07 AM MDT

I suppose I haven’t tried humerous in a while… I’ll have to mull it over :)

I suppose it would be fun to talk about Bowe finally snapping after years of mediocre QB play and going on a shooting rampage that only stopped when he dropped the gun…

I love my wife, my kids, and the Chiefs. In that order. Except on game days.
I am the Master of Hyperenthetical Asiditry (you know, like this. Only more)


by MNchiefsfan on May 16, 2012 11:37 AM MDT

Shenanigans...

Meh...
@ChiefBlindersOn


by Chief-blinders-on on May 16, 2012 11:31 AM MDT

You're calling shenanigans?

I love my wife, my kids, and the Chiefs. In that order. Except on game days.
I am the Master of Hyperenthetical Asiditry (you know, like this. Only more)


by MNchiefsfan on May 16, 2012 11:34 AM MDT

Sure, did you want to talk to them?

Meh...
@ChiefBlind ersOn


by Chief-blinders-on on May 16, 2012 11:38 AM MDT

What are you talking about?

People don’t understand satire/sarcasm?

…never….

AP's resident gif poster - for your viewing pleasure.


by Eastcoastransplant on May 16, 2012 12:15 PM MDT

Use the font Luke

Meh...
@ChiefBlindersOn


by Chief-blinders-on on May 16, 2012 12:19 PM MDT

Please. Ben Kenobi would never advocate the use of the sarcasm font.

Vader, maybe.

I hear he loves it when text gets cut off mid sentence.

"[Jamaal Charles] probably fights crime in his spare time while inhaling carbon emissions, exhaling oxygen, and crapping oil. That’s how awesome he is. Not just good for the Chiefs, but America."
- MNchiefsfan


by MtHammer on May 16, 2012 12:30 PM MDT

I know you've schooled us on the proper English word "centre"

But rediculous isn’t a word.

by old_school on May 16, 2012 11:29 AM MDT

Don't be rediculous

it’s definatley a word.

"[Jamaal Charles] probably fights crime in his spare time while inhaling carbon emissions, exhaling oxygen, and crapping oil. That’s how awesome he is. Not just good for the Chiefs, but America."
- MNchiefsfan


by MtHammer on May 16, 2012 11:32 AM MDT

*twitch* *twitch*

No real than you are.


by TRSChief on May 16, 2012 12:45 PM MDT

QB, QB, QB, and QB.

I would also like some veteran depth at S.

by Chiefsfansince85 on May 16, 2012 12:56 PM MDT

Sure...but what about QB?

You didn’t really mention that.

No real than you are.


by TRSChief on May 16, 2012 1:02 PM MDT

Abortion

Gay marriage
Gun control
Death Penalty
2003 Chiefs defense.

There are some things people are never going to agree upon

Twitter: @teeeenwolf
I don't mean to brag, I don't mean to boast, but I'm intercontinental when I eat french toast.


by craig in calgary on May 18, 2012 3:59 PM MDT

Do not inject rationality into your argument

You will be summarily flogged by old women with rubber hoses

by mushin on May 21, 2012 5:43 PM MD

ahhhh.. so then why didn't you just say...

pretencious hipster apple fanboy/fangirl assholes with hair multi-colored hair 1/2 covering their faces and a mash up of clothing styles from the 50’s combined with the 80’s .. all wearing dumb ass hat’s and brightly colored, horn rimmed, non-perscription glasses….. that all think their “too cool” to conform to society and therefore rebel from by dressing exactly the same, buying all the exact same technology items, bitching abut the exact same shit over and over again, and whining incessently about trivial bullshit on facebook all day long every single day..as if anyone cared.

Hmm.. “fashionista” is slightly less to type than that paragraph… I guess I can see why you’d shorten it. But can we agree that it would be easier to define that group of people as people with “narcissistic personality disorder” (NPD) ?

The Powers Of Astute Observation Are Often Mistaken As Cynicism By Those That Do Not Posses Them -- G.B. Shaw
-2012 NFL Prognosticator Extraordinaire: Savant, Savant, Crow Eater, Savant


by Texas Chief on May 21, 2012 12:37 PM MDT


When you hit your head against a wall and it hurts, you stop hitting your head against a wall.

No one likes a quitter.

by JacinB on May 22, 2012 12:02 PM MDT up reply actions 4 recs

AP encourages spam.

This is my 11,339th comment. And have you seen the crap that I post?

Should’ve been removed years ago, tbh.

No real than you are.


by TRSChief on May 30, 2012 7:57 AM MDT

Meh.

lazycash42.c()m is alright, but I felt that c4sh4freesies.()rg/definitelynotascam was superior. It took most of the themes that lazycash42established and really expanded on them in some very interesting and compelling ways. Your personal journey from starting out reading the page all the way through giving them your credit card and social security numbers just felt more complete and intellectually fulfilling.

I don’t know, though. Maybe that’s just me.

"[Jamaal Charles] probably fights crime in his spare time while inhaling carbon emissions, exhaling oxygen, and crapping oil. That’s how awesome he is. Not just good for the Chiefs, but America."
- MNchiefsfan


by MtHammer on May 30, 2012 8:31


not only is the OLine is alive ...
Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe, as it happens, near Transylvania. They were driving in a

rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late, and raining very hard. Bob could barely see 20 feet in front of the car.

Suddenly the car skids out of control! Bob attempts to control the car, but to no avail! The car swerves and smashes into a tree.

Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his wife unconscious, with her head bleeding! Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has to carry her to the nearest phone.

Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road. After a short while, he sees a light. He heads towards the light, which is coming from an old, large house. He approaches the door and knocks.

A minute passes. A small, hunched man opens the door. Bob immediately blurts, “Hello, my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife Betty. We’ve been in a terrible accident, and my wife has been seriously hurt. Can I please use your phone??”

“I’m sorry,” replied the hunchback, “but we don’t have a phone. My master is a Doctor; come in and I will get him!”

Bob brings his wife in. An elegant man comes down the stairs. “I’m afraid my assistant may have misled you. I am not a medical doctor; I am a scientist. However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic, and I have had a basic medical training. I will see what I can do. Igor, bring them down to the laboratory.”

With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob following closely. Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and his own injuries, so Igor places Bob on an adjoining table.

After a brief examination, Igor’s master looks worried. “Things are serious, Igor. Prepare a transfusion.” Igor and his master work feverishly, but to no avail. Bob and Betty Hill are no more.

The Hills’ deaths upset Igor’s master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the steps to his conservatory, which houses his grand piano. For it is here that he has always found solace. He begins to play, and a stirring, almost haunting, melody fills the house.

Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. His eyes catch movement, and he notices the fingers on Betty’s hand twitch. Stunned, he watches as Bob’s arm begins to rise! He is further amazed as Betty sits straight up!

Unable to contain himself, he dashes up the stairs to the conservatory. He bursts in and shouts to his master:

“Master, Master! … The Hills are alive with the sound of music!

Twisted Lord of AP Color Commentary (H/T - Loco) - Hi, Mo! 5 Minutes!!!
"I shall conquer untruth by truth" - Mahatma Gandhi
"It's always easier to sell 'em some shit than it is to give 'em the truth" - Shel Silverstein, The Perfect Hig

by upamtn on May 30, 2012 2:48 PM MDT


This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Arrowhead Pride's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Arrowhead Pride writers or editors.

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