Translating Coachspeak (Humor & Satire)

The Chiefs just wrapped up thier 2012 Rookie Minicamp that went on and on and on for like THREE WHOLE DAYS! Those poor rooks, not used to having to attend that days of classes practice in a row. Gotta feel sorry for those kids, yanno? I mean, Wylie ONLY got a cool $2.5M (rounded off for brevity) for his "graduation present" from the Chiefs (cheapskates!) although it's believed that the team's 1st Round pick, Dontari "Eat The Children For Breakfast" Poe does (or will [see? this is how little I really pay attention: I don't know if Poe has signed or not, but it doesn't matter because if he hasn't, he will {and you thought MNchiefsfan was the only blogger who could do parenthetical asides}]) get a much bigger paycheck than Wylie, and Romeo, along with his staff of coaches, will be earning theirs for sure.

But lost in the midst of our elation that the 2012 NFL Season is indeed coming is what our illustrious team leaders are REALLY telling us about our favorite team, specifically this year's bumper crop of rookies, both drafted and otherwise. I have, therefore, taken it upon myself to do the work that few would endeavor: translating what Romeo Crennel says to something more recognizable, like English. Let's hop jump right to it, shall we?

This morning, Joel posted Crennel's very own words from yesterday (and/or today) about the Minicamp ...

Dontari Poe: "I know everybody wants to know about [Dontari] Poe a little bit. I thought he made some progress from day one until today. He still has work to do. He's more of a project than I thought, wish me luck, I'm gonna need it!"

Jeff Allen: "[Jeff] Allen missed time because of his graduation, but in the first day he looked like he could bend a little bit, took some leadership, asked good questions in the classroom, ... stole Lilja's locker nameplate and welded on his own ... so we're excited about that."

Donald Stephenson: "Donald Stephenson, I think he's a good athlete. loves Gates BBQ so I think he's going to do well for us in a few years, maybe ... MAYBE (but don't hold me to it)."

Devon Wylie: "[Devon] Wylie showed he has some quickness and has ability to make some plays. I think that's the case looks like a strong candidate for Special Teams"

Junior Hemingway: "[Junior] Hemingway, I think he's a sure-handed receiver and I think once he gets acclimated to the way we do things, I think he'll show up a little bit more." but he can't run a route to save his life and Daboll might kill him by the time preseason is over.

Cyrus Gray: "Cyrus [Gray] has been there and he's been doing a little bit. it took him 45 minutes to find his locker from the hallway. He shows flashes. One time, he looks really good like he MIGHT have a glimpse of a clue but then another time, he looks like he doesn't know what to do yet, his own name but that's what a rookie does. We feel pretty good sick about that but we're getting him a GPS before July.

Tryout players: "The tryouts that we had, basically we let all of them go this morning dropped them like hot potatoes except for the quarterback, [David] LeGree, because we did want a guy to throw for us before we threw away more money as we have with ummmm ... What we told them, and we told their agents when we brought them here, that it was just a tryout and we'd probably send everybody home and we did, and it couldn't happen fast enough, trust me, and then we're going to talk about it and decide or determine if we want to bring anybody else back. over BBQ and beer, and then more BBQ and more beer. That includes Leon Williams, who couldn't play when he was with me in Cleveland; that includes Martin Rucker, who couldn't play when he was with me in Cleveland, so that's where all the tryouts are. We're going to meet and then we're going to decide if we want to bring anybody back or not. torment ourselves and waste more time with these guys, but don't count on it."

Undrafted free agents: "Then the free agents that we signed, they all worked hard managed to find their way to the tryouts, and we're proud of them. [Josh] Bellamy, the receiver, he showed up once or twice with a burst beer and brat and some quickness enough speed to get away from those who tried to steal it. The rest of them showed a good work ethic that they're willing to work hard proved that they can play on their PS3 while watching game film, and I think that they'll be good teammates on the team. Then, we'll just have to see where they go from there choosing another career path in due time, but they're fun dudes to chill with."

And there it is, our first minicamp with traslation of 2012. I'm pretty excited for the season to begin, aren't you?

Yr Humble Scribe,


This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Arrowhead Pride's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Arrowhead Pride writers or editors.

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