...I figured I would make one for the 2012 KC season: 0-16.
Just kidding. Seriously, though, I see all of these predictions of our record so far and think to myself, "Can't we at least wait to see the schedule before we make our picks?"
The answer: NO! We're a bunch of football loving, barbecue eating, Manning hating "RED" heads!
Therefore, I'm going all out: ranking each team per division (not picking records, etc, but listing who I think will be 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th in each division).
Just some insight into my former "predictions:"
"Bowe and Carr will BOTH be re-signed"
WHOOPS! However, I think Pioli made the right decision because Carr wanted too much money (In MY opinion).
In the words of Homer Simpson: "D'OH!" I still get sick thinking about that Raiders game.
Okay, now everybody jump with me!!!!
1. Giants- Remember, you can't spell ELITE without E-L-I.
2. Cowgirls- This is a biased pick, since they raided our cabinets this offseason. Congrats to Romo on the baby...and for taking the boys back to the playoffs (FYI: I don't like the Cowboys AT ALL, so I hope I'm wrong).
3. E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES!- The Dream Team flounders again. Too much drama, Vick is injury prone, and a fan base full of hate leads to another so-so season.
2. Lions- They have Megatron. They have Stafford. They are the other Wild Card team in the NFC.
3. Bears- Cutler stays healthy this year, but they still miss the playoffs. Lovie Smith is fired.
4. Vikings- Just as much as Matty Nice isn't our answer...Ponder isn't the answer for the Vikes.
1. Falcons- Win the division, lose in their first playoff game. Tony G carried the playoff curse with him when he left (but left some of it with us...jerk).
2. Saints- Bountygate, Brees is ticked, Nicks is gone, they miss the playoffs.
3. Panthers- Newton has another good year, but they still aren't deep enough to make a playoff run just yet.
1. 49ers- They're not going 13-3, but they're still going to win the division because it SUCKS.
2. Cardinals- Kolb won't be as bad as he was this year, but they're still not making the playoffs.
3. Seahawks- I want to rank them last because of those terrible new uniforms, but I can't because...
4. Rams- Bradford may have been a bit overrated after his rookie year. They're also affected by Bountygate because of Williams.
If you're keeping score: PLAYOFF TEAMS- Giants, Packers, Falcons, 49ers, Cowboys (WC), and Lions (WC)
2. Jets- I think matching Sporano and Tebow is good...the other drama? Not so much. They don't make the playoffs.
3. Bills- The Bills floundered after a good start last year...could easily see them having another roller coaster season. Spent too much for Super Mario, IMO.
4. Dolphins- I don't see the 'Phins improving a ton from last year. New coaching staff, new playbook, etc. We know what that's like...
2. Steelers- Todd Haley is their new OC. It took him forever to talk to his QB (whiny, but still important...you'd figure he'd be on that stuff). Either way, I see the Steelers in the playoffs again, but not winning the division (similar to last season).
3. Bengals- Will not make the playoffs this year. Still will be a decent team, but I don't see the AFC North with 3 teams in again.
4. Browns- 'nuff said. When being used as a joke for taking a dump, "Taking the Browns to the Super Bowl," is much more realistic than applying it in a football sense, there's a problem (I feel really sorry for Cleveland fans in general...the Cavs, Indians, and Browns...yikes).
1. Colts- I'm kidding.......Titans- Now that Peyton's gone, this is a toss up between the Texans and Titans. I don't see CJ having as bad of a year as last year, and the Texans basically blew up their OL (Thank you, Houston for Mr. Winston...Chiefs fans need to send y'all a Christmas card this year).
2. Texans- Decent year, but will again play second fiddle and miss the playoffs. I don't think their OL changes can be underestimated.
3. Colts- Luck won't be a world beater, but he'll significantly improve the Colts (DUH). I believe the Colts would've won 6 games last year with Luck as QB (including the game against us).
1. Chiefs- HOMERISM! And realism all in one pick. Great offseason additions, a DECASTRO-lific first round pick, and Matty Nice has an average (20 TD, 10 INT) season. We have our own version of the Giants' Earth (Hillis), Wind (McCluster), and Fire (JC), and a good defense. I see us winning the division.
2. Donkeys- Manning definitely makes this team a playoff contender (forget Super Bowl). I see them as the other Wild Card team in the playoffs.
3. Bolt Nation (as described by Le'Ron McClain---PLEASE TAKE HIM OFF OF THE TWITTER FEED IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY!)- This is a regressing team that lost it's best WR. Gates is getting older. Phyllis Rivers is playing more like a girl than ever before in his career. The only reason they're third instead of last...
4. Da Raidas (Chris Berman voice)- Imploded due to salary cap. I do believe they're on the right track to rebuild (new regime can't help the stupid decisions made by the old one), but they're definitely a year or two away from being a true contender, IMO. Could shock us, but I just don't see it.
PLAYOFF TEAMS: Patriots, Ravens, Titans, Chiefs, Steelers (WC), and Donkeys (WC)
Well, there you have it. You basically can go ahead and flip around all of my predictions and you'll have the real outcome. I'm not picking playoff games or anything, so send me your thoughts!