Keys For Writing a Killer Fanpost

Using proprietary detection software all SB Fanposts and their comments were pattern screened. The results clearly indicate that, by using the 10 keys below, you will be able to create a highly commented post. Our algorithms predict a minimum of 300 comments.

1. You may use any number of words and run-on sentences but all must fit into one paragraph no matter how long it is so it will be easy to read and retained and then the viewers will be able to remember what to comment on.

2. Repeatedly show your disdain for Matt Cassel and his entire genealogy. Words and phrases such as "freakin' clipboard carrier", "incompetent boob" and "Pioli patsy " seem to be very effective.

3.Stress that Scott Pioli is evil. Everyone knows he won't trade this years entire draft picks plus the next two years number one picks for Robert Griffin III. He should be run out of town for such derelict performance.

4. Note that Clark Hunt is cheap, short, and looks like an accountant. We'd all rather have an owner who looks like Salvatore Dali...I mean Shahid Khan.

5. Inserting photographs in your post grabs a readers attention. When you use the photo of your Peyton Manning shrine make sure the focus is adjusted so the votive candles in the foreground have a slight blur. It's much more effective.

6. It is also recommended that you provide statistical analysis. You can easily find data from any number of websites to confirm your bias. Objectivity is never used.

7. Never, ever, drop in any unkind remarks about Dwayne Bowe. He is very sensitive and needs your love. It is a fact that he reads AP the night before every game. You could wind up messing with his mind.

8. Reason and rationale won't get you any points. Instead show your passion about your headline by going into an emotional tirade. Venting in public is therapeutic.

9. Mention that, according to the new CBA, all teams that have cornerbacks with the same first name must pay them equally. Clearly, the Chiefs may be subject to disciplinary action in the future.

10. While we don't recommend showing empathy for any current or former Chief employee an exception is made for Todd Haley. The reason he looked like a homeless person is that he lost everything to his bookie and was living in cardboard box under a bridge. Poor guy. If only he'd have answered his cellphone when the goons called.

That's all there is to it, folks! Just follow the steps above and your on your way to AP immorality. Happy posting!

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Arrowhead Pride's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Arrowhead Pride writers or editors.

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