What to Expect When You're Expecting, or You Owe Me One Year of Life Back, Chiefs

The season is over. I had post after post planned this season. I had every intention of checking in once a week to offer my two cents and boast about our division leading team. That all fell apart when the chiefs took a StressfulPoo on me. One Poo, one cup. This season was one of the hardest things I've ever had to endure (that's what she said). I knew it was bad when I found myself making plans on Sundays. For f-word's sake, I only won ONE fantasy league. ONE!!! Obviously, I couldn't focus on the NFL.

This post is about new beginnings because, well, I hope for that to be a theme for the Chiefs in the coming weeks/months/years. Throughout the course of the season, I have made a wish list of things I hope can change for the 2013 season. Basically, I know a lot of people who don't want to give my favorite team any of their time or money any more, and I want to give them a chance to remedy this fact. How fitting that I write this on New Year's Eve.

1) A time machine - My plan for the offseason was to sign Orton and Bowe/Carr and to franchise whichever of Bowe/Carr didn't get the long term deal. Even after cutting Routt, I hope we can all admit the season would have gone different if we had Stanford Routt as our nickel back (editor's note: insert joke about bad canadian rock later). I definitely wanted to be a player in the Peyton Manning sweepstakes, but even without, our team would have been in much better shape if we had Orton on the roster. As I've stated previously, he's not the permanent answer, but he answer. I don't even want to get into the fact that I was the first person in my group of friends to sing RG3's praises, or that nearly every QB I wanted to draft hit more than anyone on our roster (Wilson, RG3, Cousins, Foles and...Osweiler?). Keeping Orton and Carr out of Jerry Jones' butthole would have made our team leaps and bounds better. I figured this the best place to start.

It wouldn't be a bad idea to use this time machine for coach selections either. Or to replace Lin Elliott. Obviously, if time travel was an option there are a lot of things that could be different. I didn't think this through very well.

Knowing that a time machine is only an option when roads aren't necessary, I'll start talking about the future now:

2) 3 NEW QUARTERBACKS- I feel bad for the QBs on our roster. I wish I didn't, but I do. Regardless, they need to be gone.

Who needs to be gone?


Sheesh, that guy is intense.

Losing is a sickness. This year's edition of the KC Chiefs have been thoroughly infected. No lube. "Infected". Ya feel me? There is no better way to turn that around than to gut the most important position. To quote my good buddy Greg Williams, "If you cut the snake's head off, the body will die."

That doesn't HAVE to be negative advice. I think it could be a quick fix to our losing culture. We have two picks in the top 33. I would like to get the best two QBs available with those picks. I would actually like to trade out of the top spot to make this a less drastic move. If we could have two QBs of the following grab bag (in the order of my want): Geno, Tyler Wilson, Glennon, Murray, Manuel, Thomas, Jones, Barkley, Bray, I think we'd be in decent shape going in to the year. Ideally, we would have a veteran free agent signing to mentor as well, but if we don't sign them before the draft, it could be hard convincing someone with anything left in the tank to take on that role.

In the offseason/preseason, our two rooks and veteran QB could have an ACTUAL competition for the starting job. A crazy situation where (gasp) the best QB/leader takes over this team as their own. I know it's a crazy thought to build around a person with skill to whom the team responds, but I think it could, possibly, make a difference.

As much as it's said that we need a QB, I think the fact that bad QB play hurts every facet of the game is still not pointed out enough. Time of possession, faith in teammates, leadership skills, etc. There is more at stake than making throws.

3) Coaches, GM, Janitors, and Vendors- Again. Head. Snake. Decapitate it. Gut it. All reports say that Pioli will be back, and that sucks. For the record, I'm against the whole "fly a banner/boo injured players/shit on my town" movement, but I get how it got to that point. I'm dumb enough that I'm going to hope that we stand a chance and wipe the slate clean each week. No matter what I disagree with, I'm going to root for the shitty QB on the field, the horrible game plan, etc.

I still feel as though Pioli put together a decent roster. I also feel as though our boring draft last year was to support our new QB for 2013. I think it was a plan that backfired when the team imploded. That doesn't excuse letting Orton walk to be a backup.

I started writing this yesterday, and after Clark Hunt's statement today, I feel as though we are headed in the right direction. I like that he basically said, "if I can magically hit a home run and get Cowher or Gruden, Pioli is gone". I have a feeling that the whole thing was more to keep the fan base at bay than it was about having intentions of firing Scotty the Body.

My biggest fear about Scott Pioli staying is that I'm afraid that Pioli's micromanaging has shown up in the game planning. It is routinely brought up that we have had a revolving door at OC, but what isn't addressed is how similar the game plans have been. The no risk/no reward offense has to be from a consistent source. I fear that Pioli has something to do with vanilla everything. Is it that outlandish to think the guy that picks the players is forcing his opinion of how they should be utilized? Regardless, I feel that if this new report to the owner structure will prevent that moving forward. At least, I hope.

I'm not even going to get into coaching changes because it's obviously an issue. We had more pro bowlers than wins. I just hope we get someone who can mold QBs. Completely unrelated, not at all suggesting we give Jon Gruden the biggest contract a coach has ever gotten side note: remember Jon Gruden's QB school last draft? Yeah? Me too.

4) Severe discounts on divisional game tickets - This one pretty much speaks for itself. The team needs to fix what is wrong and reach out to fans. Clark is in danger of half of the fanbase disappearing next year. One of the best things about Royals games is that going can be spur of the moment; it's not a borderline major purchase like going to a Chiefs game. No matter how disgusted I am with the team, I have a hard time turning down cheap/free tickets. It's an event. I think packing the house with crazy drunks who, possibly, couldn't usually afford a ticket would be a shot in the arm for the franchise.

Now, of course, this would ALSO drastically decrease the price of season tickets this year. Part of the reason people are threatening to cancel their season ticket order is because they could go on a tropical vacation instead of spending 8 Sundays miserable for the same price. I know it's an out there theory, but what if Clark and Co. said, "Tickets will return to the 2012 price schedule once the Chiefs have a .500 or better record". People would go ape shit. We would at least know that our patronage/love/devotion means something to the team. I wouldn't at all be surprised if lowering prices didn't result in much of a loss in revenue. When people that don't usually go to games go to games, they buy dumb shit like foam fingers, programs, etc as a memento. It's my hope that one year of discounts would be all that is needed before we are winning team again.

5) A furry session with KC Wolf- I'll start by saying that I am not (yet) a Furry (, but it is a subculture that has always interested me. I think there would be no better way to test the waters than to get a crack at my favorite team's mascot.

Look at those legs!!



The team needs help. A lot more than four bullet points and a joke fifth can address. Personnel-wise, I still feel as though we don't need a lot of help. Strange, but true. Usually when our defense fell apart, it was after spending WAAAAAY too much time on the field.

My wishlist for talent would be (other than QB):

Keep Bowe (or replace him with two slightly inferior A- for two B+s)
A complementary CB to Flowers (maybe 2)
A complementary LB to Johnson (I would rather run a 4-3 with Hali playing more of a JPP/JJ Watt type of DE, but we would still need a LB...just an OLB instead of an ILB)

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Arrowhead Pride's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Arrowhead Pride writers or editors.

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