As I sat on my sofa watching the latest debacle by my beloved chiefs, my concentration was interrupted by my phone ringing. ''Awww, bro what's up'', the voice on the other end said. I knew instantly who it was, it was one of my best friends and fellow Chiefs enthusiast Hayoli. He is the reason that that I am on AP. He introduced me a few years ago, said that I would love it and should join. I kept putting it off and putting it off , until finally I joined in September of last year. I was in full ''suck for Luck'' mode and felt I needed to voice my opinion as loudly as possible. Unfortunately, my enthusiasm wasn't received as well as I thought/hoped. I was called a troll for about a month. ''Troll?'', I remember thinking, ''what the hell is a troll''? I finally asked old hays about it and he told me what a troll was. ''Really'', I remember saying to him, '' so if you have a different opinion on here, you are a troll?''l asked in disbelief. ''Not necessarily'', he replied.'' but you can't go on doing the things you are doing, or people won't take you seriously''. I wanted to be taken seriously , so I listened to his advice and the past year has been one of the best times in my life as a Chiefs fan. I have become an AP addict. it is my Facebook, my twitter. I don't have or care about those sites. I care about football more importantly, I care about this team. My only regret is that I didn't join the second my buddy told me about AP some three years ago
Anyway, Hayoli and I grew up together in ST. Joseph MO. I knew he and I were destined to become close friends the day we met. In our tween years , we shared a love for booze, girls and football, what more could you ask for in a friendship? We are far more settled and mature(well , kind of) in our old age now. We constantly joke around with each other and ask ourselves how we are still alive or not incarcerated for our wild and stupid behavior. I guess there is a god in heaven , because someone was looking out for us , that much is for sure. Hayoli moved to VA to continue his education. But we still stay in contact and talk or text at least twice a week
On the phone , we gave each other the usual short talk opening. You know the drill, ''what's up man'', ''what have you been up to'', ''hows life'', etc.... After the quick orderve of chatting, Hayoli finally came out with the real reason he called, the main dish so to speak. ''Dude'', he paused for a moment, ''what the f**k'' , he said with almost an exacerbated tone. ''I know'', I replied back, as I knew exactly where my friend was going . ''This team is just bad'', he said . ''Bud, this might be the worst team in the history of the NFL'', I responded with a somewhat frustrated tone. My friend paused for a moment , as if he were somewhat taken back by I had just implied. He let go a kinda half chuckle and said,'' come on, they aren't that bad, are they''? ''Nah '', I replied, ''they aren't that bad''
After our conversation ended, my mind kept returning to the statement I made about this team being the worst ever. Could it be true? Could this team be the worst team of all time? the more I thought about it, the more my curiosity spiked. How does this team rank with the worst teams in the history of the NFL?
What are the hallmarks of a terrible team?
Right off the bat, I knew that this was going to be controversial to do. Afterall, this team still has six games left to play , in which they can win more games(unlikely) , or get worse (very possible). Be that as it may, I wanted to see how they would stack up , IF the season ended against the Bengals
So what are the parameters when judging these teams. Well for starters, they have to have played in the modern era of football. No Poxatomi bricklayers on this list, sorry. No guys that left the coal mine , only to hitchhike to practice. We are talking about modern day, desegregated, AFL/NFL merged, Super bowl era teams, 1967-2012
stat of ineptitude that stands out, aka the wtf stat
You know, like turnovers, defensive and offensive futility, etc. They need to have a stat that you look at and say ''Oh my god'' as the immortal Joey Styles would say. A stat that on it's own , sums up the entire season for that team
wins and losses
This of course is a no brainer. A team can't have more than two wins and be considered one of the worst ever.Three or four or even five win teams are bad. Just not all time bad. It also has to be a non strike year, where it was played by real NFL athletes and not scab players
number and frequency of blowout losses,
Is this team losing, or are they getting destroyed on a weakly basis? Are they playing their hearts out ,only to just get outclassed in the end because they lack talent necessary to win? Or do they lack talent to even compete in the NFL? This is a very telling stat in determining the worst of the worst
Fact is, bad teams turn the ball over in droves. Not only that, their defense usually lacks the playmakers to create turnovers of their own. This is a two pronged stat that can say a lot about the offense and defense of a team
points +/- margin
Much like the turnover margin, the plus minus margin also tells us about both sides of the ball. Is a team not scoring AND giving up a ton of points? How in the red are they in the points margin is another good tool in figuring out the good from the really bad teams.
So if these are the measuring tools for coming up with the worst teams ever, how does KC fit in? Before we can start to call them the worst team ever, do they have any or all of the signature characteristics to be considered one of the worst teams ever?
How bad is KC?
KC didn't have a lead in a game until the Pittsburg game. You have to go back to 1929 , to something called the Buffalo Bisons to find a team that didn't lead in a game for longer period of time. The Chiefs also have the dubious distinction of having 31 turnovers. If the current average holds up, they are on pace for 52 total turnovers. I think it is safe to say, WTF stat, check
wins and losses
Obviously this team has six games left to play. But if the season ended now, they would have one win on the season against a Saints team that was in total disarray at the time. Wins and losses , check
frequency of blowout losses
In the ten games KC has played this year, only three have been competitive for sixty minutes. This team has lost seven games by double digits. I think that it is safe to say that blowout losses is a big , fat check.
as we all know, turnovers have defined this season. This team is minus 21 in turnover differential. They have a comfy seven turnover lead over the next closest team in the NFL , the Philadelphia Eagles. The defense is also struggling to take the ball away. They have only forced ten total turnovers. Safe to say that turnover margin is check
KC has been outscored by 132 points this season. They have only six passing TD's and six rushing TD's, for a grand total of twelve . That is last in the league. They are 32nd in offensive points and 28th in points allowed. point differential, check.
So now that we can say that this team has all the hallmarks of not only a bad team , but one of the worst ever, how do they stack up against the worst of the worst?
2001 Carolina Panthers 1-15
The 2001 panthers were an odd bunch. They had a convincing win in their home opener , on the road VS the vikings. The defense shut down the potent offense of the Vikings , holding them to only thirteen points. There thirty year old rookie QB Chris Weinke had an efficient game . Weinke completed sixty percent of his passes for 223 yards and had a ninety QBR. Not bad for a rookies first game on the road
The wheels quickly fell off from there though. The Panthers went on to lose the remainder of the their games that season. At that time, it was an NFL record for most consecutive games lost in a season. They gave up 410 points that year(28th) and were minus 157 in the points margin (31st). The ground game was anemic as well. The team had nine rushing TD's, six of those coming from Weinke , who was not looked at as a mobile QB.
could they beat the Chiefs?
Despite their inability to score points and their propensity to turn the ball over, the Panthers were actually plus one in the turnover margin. They also were a heartbreaking team. They lost nine game by a TD or less. They were a more competitive team than KC is now. I think the 01 Panthers beat the Chiefs 13-10 in an ugly, sloppy game.
The 2009 ST. Louis Rams 1-15
To use a quote by Colin Cowherd, this team was a dumpster fire. They scored the sixth fewest TD's in a season since the NFL went to a sixteen game schedule. They scored twenty or more points only twice. Their defense was equally abysmal, giving up 436 points on the season. They were outscored by an amazing 261 points on the season. They were minus thirteen in the turnover margin. They had a grand total of four rushing TD's
Could they beat the Chiefs
The Rams had six losses by eight points or less. Right now, that is better than the Chiefs. They also had fewer turnovers than Kansas City has right now. This offense is slightly better than what ST. Louis was. The running game is better without a doubt. The passing game however,I am not sure is better. When healthy, Marc Bulger is a better QB than Cassel is. The Rams defense was actually slightly better in points allowed per game, while KC is slightly better in points scored per game. What would happen if the very resistible force met the very movable object? I'll get flack for this , but hey, it's my post. I think if they played when Bulger was healthy, the Rams win this game 7-6
The 2000 San Diego Chargers 1-15
The 2000 Chargers were an absolute train wreck offensively. They had fifty turnovers and a staggering minus 28 turnover differential. They had the worst rushing attack in the history of the NFL , of teams that played at least fourteen games. They amassed only 1,062 yards on the ground for a pathetic 3.0 yards per attempt. To put that into context , nineteen individual running backs had more yards by themselves than San Diego had all year as a team. San Diego QB's didn't fair much better. As a group , they could only muster up a QBR of 61.
could the beat the Chiefs?
Despite having one of the worst turnover margins in recent memory, the Chargers were surprisingly competitive. They lost eight games by eight points or less. They also had a decent pass rush accumulating a respectable 39 sacks on the season. Ironically , the only win that season came against a Chiefs team that was much better than this one (wow, if that doesn't say how bad this current team is, I don't know what does). Despite being the 31st team on offense, the Chargers scored more points per game and gave up fewer points per game. I think the Chargers take this one 12-10
The 1980 New Orleans 1-15
Before chiefs fans were wearing bags over their heads and ''blacking out '' their stadium, the Saints made the bag over the head the en vogue style for moribund franchises. The term ''aints'' was coined by the media to describe the struggling franchise , who just a year before , compiled a 8-8 record and narrowly missed the playoffs. The Saints defense was abysmal. They gave up a whopping 30.4 points per game. They were blown out in eight of their sixteen games that year. They only averaged 5.2 yards per play the entire season. The offensive line was also a mess. Archie Manning was sacked an unbelievable 7.5% of the time he dropped back to pass
could they beat the Chiefs?
despite the horrible season by the team, Archie Manning had one of his better seasons passing. He completed 60% of his passes for 3700 yards(which was a lot back then) and 23 TD's. Offensively , they were over three points better than KC, while defensively being a little less than three points worse per game. KC also struggles with good QB's. The Saints were also more competitive score wise in more games than KC was . I can't believe what I am about to say, but I think that Saints team beats this KC team. It all comes down to frequency of blowouts. And the fact remains , the Saints were in more games than KC is right now. Saints 17-14
The 2006 Oakland Raiders 2-14
The 06 raiders were statistically one of the worst offenses ever, if you consider the overall data. They were so inept offensively that it is hard to know where to begin critiquing that team. They only scored 10.5 points per game. They were minus 23 in turnover differential. They never scored more than 22 points in a single game and only scored more than twenty points in a game four times all season. To say the passing game was anemic would be an understatement . Oakland QB's averaged only 178 yards a game passing. They had seven, yes SEVEN total passing TD's the entire year. In fact, on offense they only had twelve total TD's . The offensive line was just that, offensive. It gave up 72 sacks on the season
could they beat the Chiefs?
Finally, I feel like my Chiefs have a shot to get the duke. Despite the problems we have on offense, it was nothing like what Oakland was dealing with that year. We are five points better per game than Oakland was that season. We also have a better turnover margin than Oakland had. The problem however , is on the defensive side of the ball. The 06 Raiders were better , at least by points compared to our squad. In fact, they were four points better than we are. They were also in more games than this chiefs squad. This is where having six games left to play hurts this team when comparing them to other teams. In all reality, the 06 Raiders are the 2012 team. This game could go either way. but at the end of the day, two bad teams duel it out to a 3-3 tie.
The 1972 Philadelphia Eagles 2-11-1
This was the Eagles team that infamously won two of there last three games , only to miss out on drafting OJ Simpson with the first pick in the 1973 draft. It is a cautionary tale to fans and teams alike. That winning meaningless games at the end of the season , hurts you in the long run. And boy did the Eagles need OJ Simpson in the backfield. The Eagles scored two rushing TD's all season. They could only score twelve total TD's in fourteen games all year. They were blown out nine times, including giving up a record 62 points against Dallas. They only could score ten points A game and gave up 25.
could they beat the Chiefs?
How Philly won two games is beyond me. They truly are one of the worst teams in the history of the NFL. Despite having a better turnover differential than KC, I think KC somehow pulls this out 14-6. They were somehow less competitive than our team. BUT, it will be interesting to see how KC finishes out the season. I might change my mind on this one
The 1991 Indianapolis Colts 1-15
Wow folks, this is as bad as it gets. The colts averaged 8.9 points per game that year. That was the worst offensive output in a sixteen game schedule. They were outscored by 238 points at the end of the season. they only scored twenty or more points twice and only scored more than ten points five times the entire season. On special teams, the colts averaged only six yards per return on punts and nineteen yards per return on kickoffs. They only converted 57% of FG's that season
could they beat the Chiefs?
This very well might be the worst team ever in a sixteen game season. Even if KC loses all six of their final games, they would be hard pressed to match the ineptitude of this Colts squad. KC wins easily 20-3
The 1989 Dallas cowboys 1-15
If you would have told a Cowboys fan that his/her team would own the 90's after the 1989 season, they would have looked at you as if you were on crack. New owner Jerry Jones fired iconic coach Tom Landry in favor of Jimmie Johnson. A brash, cocky head coach of the even cockier Miami hurricanes. Johnson didn't make many friends in Dallas that year. He selected Steve Walsh in the NFL supplemental draft , despite taking Troy Aikman first overall in the regular draft. He further raised eyebrows by trading Hershal Walker mid season. The boys paid the price for being the youngest team in the NFL. They were minus 25 in the turnover differential category. They were blown out nine time and shut out three. They converted only 50% of their FG's that season. The QB's only had a 57 QBR at the end of the season
could they beat the chiefs?
Much like the 2006 Raiders, these two teams are pretty similar. This KC team is slightly better offensively than the 89 Cowboys team. likewise, on defense they are almost identical. This all depends on where the game is played. But I think if these two team played ten time, they would split the series 5-5. They play to a 10-10 tie in front of 30,000 people in Cowboys stadium
The 2008 Detroit Lions 0-16
what can you even say about this team that hasn't been said a million times before? The 08 Lions became the first and only team in the NFL to lose sixteen regular season games. The lions gave up a staggering 517 points on the year. They were outscored by 249 points. They gave up thirty or more points ten times that season. They led the NFL with ninety punts on the year. They only picked off four passes and allowed 31 TD's on the ground and 2700 yards on the season
could they beat the Chiefs
it would be hard pressed to convince people the 08 Lions could beat the Chiefs. Even though they did have a better turnover margin on the season. They were blown out eleven time that year, while KC has seven blowout losses. I think KC is better than the 08 Lions but not as much as you might think. The 08 Lions had a better offense and had fewer turnovers. Their Achilles heal was the defense. But I wouldn't be laughing at this team if I were a Chiefs fan. If you crunch the numbers, the two teams aren't separated by much in many statistical categories. Chiefs 24- 21
The 1976 Buccaneers 0-14
Every thing has a start and a finish. And if you want to back to the first truly awful , national sports team, it has to be the Tampa bay buccaneers of 76. From their cream cycle uniforms( anyone else think those uni's rock besides me?) to their terrible play week in and week out, they are on the Mount Rushmore of bad teams. This team was so bad , the NFL changed their policy on expansion teams when it comes to drafts. The team was outscored by over twenty points per game. They were shut out six times. They never scored more than twenty points. They had only 93 first downs all season. The QB's had less than a fifty QBR. They had only fourteen TD's all year. I could go on and on, but you get the point
could they beat the chiefs?
No, not a chance. This is the worst team ever in my opinion. KC 23-7
So all in all hayoli was right. As of right now, this is not the worst team ever. But the point is, they are close. The Chiefs are as bad , if not worse than those teams in many statistical categories and we still have six games left to play on the season. What if this team gets blown out four or five more times? It will be interesting to see how the rest of the season plays out , to see how bad it has gotten. As of right now, the NFL network needs to amend their top ten worst teams of all time.Because we have a new challenger to the throne