A wise lady once said "Comedy = Tragedy + time."
Well, Sunday's Chiefs game definitely had its fair share of tragedy. I mean, it was a regular Bill Shakespeare production out there.
At one point or another yesterday, you most likely threw up your hands, squeezed out a smirk, and wondered aloud, "Is this really happening?"
That, or you probably had yourself an aneurysm.
So what was your tipping point?
I suppose if you're a results-oriented person, you probably lasted until the (inevitable, but backbreaking) Joe Flacco scramble on 3rd and 15. Or perhaps even until Ray Rice sealed the game by squirting through what seemed like an assured 3rd and 1 mother-stuffing.
If you're into logistics, I'm sure you were baffled by the end of the half shenanigans (becoming a tradition), which not only saw Romeo Crennel make (another) asinine decision, but also a costly delay of game penalty on the Chiefs FOLLOWING A SPIKE.
If you like to fly by the seat of your pants, it had to be the fumbled snap on the 1 yard line, or the nullified touchdown by Dwayne Bowe towards the end of the game, or maybe even the early whistle on the final drive's strip-sack-n-score.
If you believe in fate and the alignment of the moon and the stars, you probably asked your Magic 8-ball why those two passes deflected off Dwayne Bowe's hands/face directly to a patiently awaiting Ravens defender.
Or if the names Paul Hackett, Jimmy Raye, and Mike Solari remain on your hit list, then it was probably one of the 22 or so draw plays the Chiefs called on 3rd and long. Is there a less satisfying play in football then giving up like this?
Worst part of it all - The Chiefs dominated the game. However, they are a snakebitten franchise right now. Everything they touch turns to pigskin. They took that field asking themselves, "How are we going to lose today?"
Damn. There ain't nothing funny about that.
The Best And Worst With: His Dirkness
Worst time to judge a person's morality - At a football game. People don't go to a game to put their character on display. They go to watch modern day gladiators compete in the Coliseum and get drunk and be passionate and, yes, sometimes irrational. The injury to Matt Cassel was a train wreck of emotions. It was the climax to four years (if not more) of pent up frustration. But do you really think those cheers were for physical harm being done to our scorned QB? I don't. If anything, they were for a stubborn General Manager and a clueless Head Coach that, to this point, have offered zero solutions to a Haloti Ngata-sized problem. A hopeless game, season, and team had suddenly been forced into making a change that seemed like it might never happen. And with it came hope.
Best move for Eric Winston - To call out the fans. I had no problem with it. He considers himself a leader of the team, and he stepped up and defended his teammate, who he thought was treated unjustly. That's his teammate. That's his quarterback. And if nothing else, he completely diverted the attention away from his team blowing an opportunity to save their season.
Best move for Matt Cassel - Faking that injury. I mean, who could blame him? The team refused to take his training wheels off all game. He gets credited for a fumble on a muffed toss by Cyrus Gray. Ryan Lilja took the blame for the fumbled snap. Both of his INT's bounced off his best WR's hands. The crowd was chanting the name of a 27-year old QB with 10 career TD passes. The time was right to wave the white flag. Meanwhile, the Zapruder Film shows no signs of a hard hit, and the backside replay was mysteriously never shown. The concussion had to have come when his head hits the turf back and to the left. Back. And to the left.
Worst head coach in the NFL - Romeo Crennel. With my sincerest apologies going out to the Schwartz family, I firmly believe this. I have zero confidence in this man making anything resembling a coaching decision. I'm actually upset with myself that I didn't realize this during the hiring process last season. His "decision" to end the first half was infuriating. Did he actually believe the Ravens had a better chance of scoring on defense than the Chiefs did on offense? Does he consider the Ravens' Hail Mary play more efficient than the Chiefs' Hail Mary play? Wouldn't you have felt better about a three point loss had we atleast attempted a wind-aided 59 yard field goal? Why's he carry that Denny's menu around with him during games?
Worst move Romeo can make now - Go back to Cassel. He's going to lose this team if he does. Brady Quinn, Medicine Woman provided an instantaneous spark, something this team is in dire need of right now. Give him a chance. We have nothing to lose. Not to mention the fact that the "Patriot Way" should love the name Brady already. Given how Pioli sticks to his past, I can't believe he hasn't connected these dots already.
Best way for Pioli/Romeo to save their jobs - Ride Jamaal Charles like Seattle Slew. It wouldn't shock me to see God Jam's career on the decline before the Chiefs play another meaningful game. There's just no way he can handle 30+ carry games for an entire season, and that might be the only way this team wins games.
Best chance I'll ever get to make an Uncle Leo reference - To the phone in the commentator's booth that wouldn't stop ringing. WILL SOMEBODY ANSWER THAT DAMN PHONE?!?
Best play - Brandon Flowers' interception. That was impressive. He looked like a dude who was fed up with how the game was going and was determined do something about it. Or in other words, the exact opposite of Eric Berry's blitz attempt on the Ravens first drive of the game (2nd and 10 from the Baltimore 36 to be exact).
Best sign for the future - The development of the Chiefs front seven. Puff Puff Pass Rush is alive and well with Justin Houston's six sacks on the season (good for 3rd in the NFL) and Tamba Hali rounding back into form yesterday. Dontari Poe is showing flashes (surprised they didn't hit him with a roughing the passer in the end zone yesterday) and Allen Bailey is quietly playing very well (collapsing that pocket). Atleast Romeo is still a good Defensive Coordinator.
Best bet on a 2013 free agent departure - Glenn Dorsey. Defense looks fine without him. And I still don't think he's fit for the 3-4 defense. Better for both sides.
Oh wait, Peyton Hillis is still on this team?
Best day of Cyrus Gray's life - The day he got blowed up by Ray Lewis. I doubt Gray goes on to have much of a memorable NFL career, but he'll be telling his kids about the day he got boomblasted by the greatest defender in NFL history. Yeah, I said it.
Hey I actually wore my Chiefs jersey the final nine hours of a Sunday.....progress!