FanPost

7 Overrated Chiefs: A Drunken Rant

"Overrated" is a term coined by a critic. In an age where a common football fan has immediate access to anything and everything associated with their football team, avoiding the tendency to be a critic becomes futile. It is the American way to voice your opinion loud and proud be it an educated or uneducated opinion. What do you care if your opinion is uneducated? You’re American!

So can we, the common football fan, really claim that our opinions are educated when it comes to the intricacies of professional football? You’re goddamn right we can! Plus I’m drunk.

So without further ado, 7 overrated Chiefs.

7. Peyton "It’s The Madden Curse" Hillis

Maybe instead of pulling trucks, he should stretch those hamstrings. The Speed and Bleed show is on hiatus right now but the first episodes were obviously written by Aaron Sorkin. A lot of fast talk, fast walking out of the locker room after a game, and the Winklevoss fumble twins of Charles and Draughn. Hillis was considered a future fan favorite. Now we just wish Thomas Jones was here. What did we learn? Don’t sign the Cleveland Browns’ trash.

6. Jonathan "Did I Remember To Bring My Camera Jogging" Baldwin

I personally think Baldwin has not hit his ceiling due to quarterback play. But since we all drafted him too high in our fantasy leagues, he must be considered overrated due to his statistics. We eyed Baldwin in training camp like an Ethiopian at a Ruth’s Kris Steakhouse for the first time. Turns out, Cassel only has eyes for Bowe. I’m currently working on that song.

5. Ryan "Who?" Succop

Ryan Succop is probably the least known kicker to fans of other teams. Why? Obviously because he has never done anything memorable. Can you think of a time where he’s been gang hugged by the whole team on a highlight during Sportscenter? Me neither, but then again I smoke a lot of Pot. No seriously, A LOT. He’s never demonstrated "clutch". He has only demonstrated "that miss will hurt us later". The winds of dissent are flowing with Succop haters. But until I hear a call for the removal of Succop on this forum of critics, his name stays on the list. This 2009 relic should be treated like Lenny from "Of Mice and Men". Get rid of him before he hurts somebody.

4. Javier "don’t call me Jacquez Reeves" Arenas

"We should trade Tony Gonzalez so we can get……Javier Arenas" – Gandhi

Well someone said it!! This second round pick was out "training camped" by Jacquez Reeves and Shaun Draughn. It’s time to label him for what he is: An error on draft day for Pioli. There were a lot of Arenas defenders on here with claims of "he’s only a slot/nickel corner" and "they needed a punt returner". Bottom line is there is an abundance of those players with those exact skill sets in later rounds. A second round pick should have the ability to, at the very least, achieve 3rd string status at his position in college. A 2nd round CB should be a shut down corner just like our other 2nd round pick in Flowers. If Javier Arenas was injured, could Flowers slide into his place? You bet your season tickets he could! A second round CB should always be able to play any corner position. And Boom goes the Dynamite! There goes any Arenas argument with one scenario. With Flowers and Brown injured, they sure didn’t look to him. Seems odd for a 2nd round pick no matter which way you cut it.

3. Eric "The Best Right Tackle In Football" Winston

The number of mental erections surrounding this signing could fill all the auditoriums in the KC metro area. We ignored the scouting report claiming he wasn’t good in pass protection making us the new scouting reporters. Hey everybody! Winston sucks in pass protection! I can hear Barry Richardson in front of his TIVo laughing right now. No really, I can. He lives next door.

2. Eric "Never Draft A Safety That High" Berry

Antonio Gates has missed a game this year and battled plantar facitatis (eff spelling) the last three years. Any day now, his body is going to break down a la the Blues Mobile at the end of "The Blues Brothers". Yet our superstar safety gave him more separation than a restraining order. What can you do when you’re getting beat? Hold onto his jersey and hope the refs don’t see it. Must be a Tennessee Volunteer thing because they tend to frown upon that in the NFL. Berry has done nothing spectacular and has been part of a secondary that make Receivers "7-11s"as in they’re Always Open (Ha! Get it??). Sorry fans, there are no refunds for jerseys purchased after the 2010 season.

<!--[if !supportLists]-->1. <!--[endif]-->Scott "Burn All My Toys When I Die" Pioli

Bill Belichick has a master plan. He staffs incompetent people, makes them look good while they ride his coat tails of success, then sends them unto other teams around the NFL thus sabotaging other organizations and decreasing the competition. It’s Brilliant!!! So far he’s gotten revenge against Cleveland for making him coach there, and now Kansas City is his next victim. Bill Belichick should sell Sham-Wows. I’m sure people in KC would buy one as they already have. What I’m saying is that Pioli is a Sham-Wow. It is now clear that the "Patriot Way" must include Bill Belichick and a hall of fame QB. Not this guy.

I could go into further detail but this post has the intention of creating arguments, thus creating anger, thus cleansing us. Also, I’m just not that inspired to put any more effort into it, I just want to fight someone. I want this post to resemble an Irish bar at 2am where we all punch each other, then cry on each other’s shoulder, hug it out, and attempt to feel better about our team. So here it is: WHACK! Who’s face did I hit first?

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Arrowhead Pride's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Arrowhead Pride writers or editors.

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