An Apology For The Chiefs

From the SuperstitionPosts, err FanPosts. -Joel

This is an open letter to everyone involved in the Chiefs organisation, the players, coaches, front office and most importantly the fans,

For the past month there has been plenty of speculation as to who is to blame for the current 0-3 record the Chiefs currently have. The suggestions have ranged from Hunt to Haley to Pioli to Cassel, but the real culprit has not yet been identified. However, I feel the time has come to reveal the true source of the problem: Me.

But first, a little background...

I hail from the humble land of New Zealand, and live roughly 8000 miles from Kansas City. Back in 2005, as a way to pass the summer, I decided to purchase a video game. After careful deliberation I purchased a copy of Madden 2006 and thus an obsession began.

After playing through a season in superstar mode and running only 2 plays, one halfback counter and the other a pass to the tight-end I led the Bengals to a 5-11 season. I decided, now that I had an elementary understanding of the game, to find myself a team. For some reason I was drawn to the Chiefs, and after a little research into them and Kansas City I decided they were the team for me. Trent Green, Priest Holmes, Tony Gonzalez, a rich history (and I'll admit the colours), what more could I ask for?! After several saves and restarts I had successfully managed to demand a trade to the Chiefs for my star quarterback.

A few weeks later I discovered NFL.com and my obsession grew. The first season of my Chiefs fandom was a reasonably successful one, a 9-7 record and a wild-card playoff spot, however, we suffered and embarrassing loss to the Colts, but still I had high hopes for my adopted team.

Being in New Zealand there was limited NFL coverage and internet piracy had not yet developed to the level for which I am thankful today. The TV only showed Sunday and Monday night games and from 2007-2009 Chiefs appearances were rare. I was forced to sit glued to NFL.com, watching 3 minute snippets of games to fuel my addiction. It wasn't until Todd Haley's first season that I was consistently able to watch Chiefs games, and I loved it, despite the miserable results, a gold tinge started to run through my blood.

Now NFL merchandise is limited in New Zealand, the only jerseys available tended to be those of the Superbowl champions. It wasn't until earlier this year, when on my 21st birthday my two best friends had ordered me a custom Chiefs jersey, that I began to feel finally like a complete fan.

Now I imagine most of you are wondering what this has to do with the Chiefs' losses? I shall explain.

September 11 was an exciting day in my household, I was like a small child on the night before Christmas, I wore my jersey all Sunday and slept in it in preparation to get up at 5 am to watch my beloved Chiefs play (time difference). I settled in, final feeling like I belonged with most of the fans on this site. Alas, it was not to be, we were comprehensively embarrassed by the Buffalo Bills, the BUFFALO BILLS!? I brushed it off as a one time thing, we would bounce back, surely. Next week I followed the same routine in preparation for the Lions, after all why should I doubt myself? And we all know how that worked out.

The Chargers game was a later one, so I got up for the leisurely game time of 9 am my time, and placed on my jersey. Half time rolled around and the Chiefs had yet to gain a first down, and had accumulated what felt like 7 yards of offense. I was downtrodden, so I hopped in the shower to wash away my sorrow. When I was out I sat on my bed, wrapped just in my towel and began the second half. Suddenly the Chiefs were alive! I don't know where they had been, but they were back! I sat transfixed, there was no time to get dressed! Suddenly I felt alive inside, not the horrible sense of dread that had accompanied Mondays the previous fortnight. Fast forward to the fourth quarter, Kansas City had just stopped the Chargers on 4th down and we were going for the winning score, so exciting!

BEEEEP!

The harsh sound of my apartment buzzer brought me back from the world of football, I quickly put on some shorts and answered the door, greeted my visitor and quickly rushed back, while the Chiefs gained a first down through the air, and then... Ouch. Thanks Matt Cassel.

But why I asked myself, what had happened, and then I clicked: the shorts!

And that, Chiefs fans, is how I have been responsible for our losses. But, be thankful, I have figured out the problem, and I will fix it! I shall be up at 5 am this Monday morning, completely naked, cheering the Chiefs on, with all my energy. I am sure that this will result in a victory.

I apologise sincerely for wrecking these first 3 weeks of our beloved Chiefs' season. But I promise Chiefs fans, our problems are over!

Sincerely,

New Zealand's biggest Chiefs fan

Go Chiefs!