"The first meeting of the Suck Up to Luck Klub (S.U.L.K.) will now come to order.
All rise for President Dancingwithachiefsboner69 and recite The Pledge":
I pledge allegiance to no club of the National Football League
Unless they've won a Super Bowl in the last two years
Nor to the city, for which the Chiefs stand
One town, in two states, I'd rather be in Oakland
Nor to the fans who stand and cheer
Unless we draft Andrew Luck next year.
I thank you all for coming. After our close shave with a win last week, after we changed our underwear and paid off our bets, we all realized that if we expect the Chiefs to have any realistic chance of sucking for luck, we had to organize. For example, if we had known that voodoo666salliechief would run out of pins to stick in her Brandon Flowers doll, we could have run down to the Walmart for her. Obviously she has had great luck with many of her previous dolls. But we can't simply depend on injuries to get us an 0 and 16 record.
Yes johnniewalkertalker58? What is it?
I was thinking maybe we could run down to the QuickTrip for a few cases of Coors?
Sorry johnnie, that's gonna have to wait till later. We've got serious business to take care of. By the way, how's your wife?
I divorced her. She hasn't looked hot in 42 years.
Oh, that's too bad. Another question? undercoverraiderlover007?
Yeah. how come we ain't the Suck FOR Luck Club?
It's been copyrighted in Indy. Yes? What is it rosannerosannamontana22?
I'm having a hard time explaining to my kid how come we can't cheer for the Chiefs anymore. You know, I used to tell him all that stuff about never quittin', trying your best, pride, dignity, and all that crap. Well now that he's wearing his new Vikings cap I gave him, all the kids at school are picking fights with him.
Come on rosannerosannamontana22, does the little bench-warming brat still believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny too? Just sell his autographed jersey on eBay and do like chiefforlifeeverafter123 does, and homeschool him. By the way... I want to remind you all to hang around after the meeting. We'll be burning Matt Cassel in effigy out back and I know you won't want to miss it.
Next? Yes super27duperchieffer?
What about my tickets?
You know, my Chiefs tickets.
Huh? How many of y'all got tickets? Well shit! That many? Well, not too bad I guess...
So what are we gonna do with our tickets? We can't sell them. Whoever buys em will go cheer for the Chiefs!
Well you sure as hell can't go! We have to show Hunt those empty seats!
But what about the tailgatin' and all that? Would it be alright if we went to the game but just yelled for Stanzi?
Hell no, you can't yell for Stanzi. What if he's good? We could win games you idiot! We don't want to know anything about Stanzi. Not this year and not next year. Eyes on the prize guys. Eyes on the prize.
Well, what if we went out but just sat on our hands the whole game?
Yeah. I suppose that would be alright.
Now what is it bambamstheman12?
What are we gonna wear to the game? Can't wear our Chiefs gear, that's for sure.
Wait. I see biggestbestestchieffan99 has a suggestion.
Yeah, what say we don our Green Bay and N'Orleans shirts that we wore last February?
Sounds good. Other ideas? No? It's unanimous then.
Now I want everybody to get out there and suck for luck. That's the only way we'll ever get to the promised land.
Yes electriclight, Mr Secretary?
"Promised Land? Wasn't that where the Israelite folks kept grumbling about their piss poor coaching and everything, just when things were looking up, and God made them walk around aimlessly for 42 years?"
Would the Sergeant-at-Arms please THROW THIS BUM OUT!!!
Thank you very much. Sheesh!
Hey... did you get his notebook?