Where Are The Eyes Of The Football Field? [UPDATED] [SOLVED]

Two cups of coffee this morning started to roll my balls in uncomfortable ways; so I've decided to come with a simple question, no pun intended.  How do you watch football?  The game itself is very difficult to understand for many (okay just me) and merely watching the ball move 6.4 yards every play is not enough for this young two-sided spongy mind.  That abrasive side needs to start polishing.

I, myself, find apologies during game day are frequent.  People show up to watch a football game and all they get is an Arrowhead addict screaming at his TV unable to sit down with a very bad case of the smoke-n-pace.  It's embarrassing, and let me tell you I WANT TO GET BETTER.  If there's a way, call me Will.  

How am I supposed to sit and watch a (Chiefs) game in an adult manner?  I've tried the scowl and press lips together technique but that doesn't work.  That just makes me look even more pathetic.  I've tried leaving the room, but my body language must vibrate everyone's senses; alerting them of my uncontrollable hysteria.

A typical start to my game day begins with some kind of exercise.  I like to hack (sacks, not computers), I sometimes bike across the desert in search of distractions but none of this seems to cool off the rolling boil within.  I've goose-frabayed in linear positions and I've read most of "The Book Of Secrets" by Osho (okay just the first 500 pages), leaving me unenlightened for my game time antics.

Tell me about your routine.  Learn me please.  I'd like to show fellow football watching fans a professional this season.  Details are important, and I'm listening.

(note: This is not a joke punks!  I'm not a fan of self-help books.  I want proven science.)



Please allow me to continue.  I lost focus earlier and now I am going to make some sense of the title that doesn't currently make any sense.

It's incredible what a friend can do by just dropping by and saying hello.  The fiddle tunes this friend played "just soothed my soul" this afternoon.  

Where Are My Eyes On The Football Field?  That is what the title should read.  

My eyes are not on the football field.  My eyes can touch (they're dashing blue), my eyes can smell, my eyes can hear (by reading); and unfortunately my eyes can't see the field for what it is.  One very wise man (he has a U and a P in his name) once told me just a couple of hours ago that "Canada is a good country to be from.  It has a gentler slower pace - it lends perspective."  Thank you Paul Anka for that. ;)

I need to broaden my perspective; I need to think about things that may be more important than the Chiefs during those scary nervous moment-ful games.  Hell, if I had a daughter I'd put her picture up next to the big-screen 24 incher.  My son on the other hand.....

I'll try this and get back to you.

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Arrowhead Pride's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Arrowhead Pride writers or editors.

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