We’re all approaching our fake football drafts which means it’s time to switch our minds to overanalyze mode. My old friend Yoga Nate once told me “I’ve overanalyzed every decision I’ve ever made,” yikes, what a way to go through life. This morning we’ll try to overanalyze tweets from Bob Fesco and Nick Wright to try and narrow down what’s up with our favorite Beetlejuice lookalike. This isn’t meant to be a bash and discredit the local media bit. I like Wright and to a lesser extent Fesco but that’s besides the point. Let’s just look at their words and try to cover all the bases.
"Hearing bad things about Baldwin's absence from practice yesterday. Can't confirm anything due to Radiothon, will work on it after 6pm."
And later from Fesco:
“Baldwin stuff I am hearing is not terrible. Not the best news but not terrible either…still chasing”
We’ll lump possible scenarios into the following categories; injury, personal, team rules, legal problems.
Hard to believe this is the reason for the absence, especially since Wright claims its not injury related. The bigger concern on the injury front is that it’s a health related problem versus a football related injury. Too many potential non-football related health issues to speculate about but we all can agree this would be worse case scenario.
New born kid? No that wouldn’t be a “bad thing.” Death in the family? That’s bad but not entirely horrible (unless it’s Ed Reed-esque) as death is something we all deal with. Sick kid? Car trouble? Closing on a house? None of those are really bad things and none should require him to miss practice.
Now help me if I’m wrong but I don’t remember Haley ever sending someone home for breaking team rules or for being a dick. I don’t even recall Barry Richardson being punished for shoving his coach on the sideline. This seems highly unlikely although if it was something internal we certainly wouldn’t be hearing much about it.
Could also be drug related. We haven’t heard anything about Baldwin liking da weed but we do know that 22 years olds love getting high. I can’t think of a reason for a young wide out to use HGH or juice so we’ll dismiss those for now. Also if it was a failed drug test you think we would have heard more, although there may be an appeal or retest process.
Given the other categories and info given to date, this seems the most likely. However, you’d think some Chiefs fan would be scouring the local police beat to see if his name comes up. So many legal scenarios to speculate about. DUI? The players did just have the afternoon off for a movie, perhaps Baldwin was getting crunk at the movies as so many of us do. Smackin a woman? God I hope not, we’ve been down that road before. Excessive speeding? I think we all could deal with that. Illegal dominos parlor? If that’s the case, RESPECT. Dealin some of those MJ’s that were stolen from trucks highjacked outside of KC? If our first round pick is dabbling in stolen sneakers I may have a new favorite player. As a side note, if anyone knows where to get your hands on those stolen MJ holla at Ja Boi. Sexual assualt? Again, God I hope not. Note to all pro athletes, when faced with a sexual accusation use the Kobe defense, “she wanted it,” not the defense that clown used on Troost, “I thought she was dead.” Thinking someone is dead is not grounds to go to town on them. Covert Russian spy? Pretty unlikely but treason is certainly bad.
Until we hear more, and let’s hope we do, your speculation is as good as mine. In the meantime let’s do it like Pollard couldn’t and cover all our angles.