Last Friday Jerrell Powe blasted Josh Johnson into oblivion. And so, inspired, I began to immortalize this preseason glory - via text, gif, and video. First, we begin with a story. Read on, dear reader, and know the epic tale of Jerrell Powe's first preseason game.
By The Fake Joe Posnanski
Josh Johnson took off running up the middle and Jerrell Powe was on the other side of the field.
But somehow, some way, Powe knew he had to catch him or Johnson was going to score.
Powe began to pump his massive legs.
Run, Powe, run!
Johnson hit the 20-yard line. Powe lagged far behind, but knew he had to catch him, or Johnson was going to score.
Powe huffed and puffed.
Run, Powe, run!
Johnson hit the 10-yard line. Powe was losing the race but knew, deep down, only he could catch Johnson.
Powe saw Johnson slow up, avoiding a tackle. He was now three yards behind, his heart pumping so fast it might burst out of his chest.
But now, there was no one between Johnson and the end zone. Powe would catch him, or die trying.
Johnson cut back, right into the path of the beast stalking him. Powe saw his chance, and seized the moment like a great big slab of brisket.
With one desperate lunge, Powe launched his 340 pounds through the air and slammed into the small of Johnson's back, sending him flying forward. The collision separated Johnson's head from his body - no, wait, that was just his helmet. Johnson's head was buried deep into the Arrowhead turf as, for a brief second, he disappeared under Powe's massive girth.
Powe and Johnson, now melded into a single being through pure force of impact, skidded to a halt at the two-yard line. Practically the entire Bucs bench emptied onto the field, fearing that Jerrell Powe, now lying on top of Johnson, had just killed the quarterback-turned-pancake via human compression.
"OH MY GOD, JOSH, ARE YOU ALRIGHT?"
"JOSH? SAY SOMETHING, MAN!"
"JOSH, CAN I HAVE YOUR TV?"
And Josh Johnson got up looking like he had just mowed the lawn.
Three snaps later the Chiefs held on fourth and goal and the Buccaneers went into halftime completely deflated, their momentum destroyed! All because Jerrell Powe pumped his massive legs and huffed and puffed as he ran until his heart might burst, catching Johnson in a mad 20-yard dash to preseason immortality.
Because no one else was going to catch Josh Johnson.
And now....the gif....
And finally, the epic play, presented in dramatic fashion.