Ramblings of an Idiot: Unrelated Rants

SINGAPORE - AUGUST 14: Fireworks explode at the Opening Ceremony of the 2010 Youth Olympics at The Float@Marina Bay on August 14 2010 in Singapore. (Photo by Adam Pretty/Getty Images)

Happy belated 4th of July to all the AP readers. Like a lot of you, I’m coming down off a glorious holiday weekend. Unlike a lot of you, that means I only had to work 10 hours a day for the last 3 days instead of 14. Whenever another holiday comes around that I have to go to work on while (it seems like) everyone else is having fun my thoughts turn bitter and the 80 year old man in me bubbles to the surface. Yesterday, while attempting to choke back the bile of contempt rising in my throat I came to the conclusion that the best way to rid myself of all the deep seated hatred boiling in my bloodstream would be to go off on a mindless rant to anyone that would listen: Congratulations!!! You have been chosen as someone that will listen.

One rant won’t possibly be therapeutic enough to return me to my usual rational, easy going, non judgmental self (stop laughing Upamtn and Steve, just go with it) so I intend to expel as much of the evil in my sole (no that is not misspelled. I store the evil in my feet) as I can through a series of completely unrelated rants. One or two of them may even be somewhat related to football in a small and insignificant way. I figure that with the lock out still in place we’ve talked about everything off season related ad nauseam,  and it’s time for something different. Later, in the comments I’d like you (yes, specifically YOU. It’s not a general invite. I’m talking to YOU that is reading this sentence at this exact moment) to take this chance to spew out some of your own disgust about whatever drives you crazy. However, as I’m mere seconds away from clubbing a baby seal, I get to go first.

Retired Players Trying to Stall CBA Discussions

All these guys can go suck an egg. We’re well past 100 days and have set a new record for the longest lockout in NFL history. The season is not yet safe from being shortened or canceled because we don’t have a CBA. Both sides have been diligently working together for the last 3 weeks, meeting several days per week. Things are finally moving forward, and it’s looking like we could indeed have football in 2011. BUT.... the retired players have now filed an injunction to halt all CBA discussions between players and owners.

The last thing the fans need now is one more group of people trying to use the coming football season as leverage to extort more money out of the fans, players, and owners. Put aside your thoughts of what the retired players deserve. Stow away your compassion for other people for a minute and ask yourself this: Why should the retired players (who are not longer members of the NFLPA) be able to throw a wrench in the deal between the league and the current players? Their issue is a separate issue, and besides that it’s an issue that was negotiated already by the NFLPA at the time those guys were players.

The retired players made a deal and signed a CBA while they were players. They agreed to all kinds of terms, including retirement and medical benefits. They are getting exactly what they agreed to under their CBA. They might have some ground to stand on concerning ancillary rights for footage used by NFL films, or even deserve a cut of NFL merchandise that uses their names or likeness, but those things have nothing to do with a new CBA. The league can easily separate the money for jersey sales of retired players from current ones without halting the negotiations. NFL films can sit down with retired players and discuss changes or charges for using certain footage in the future without ending CBA discussions. And the current members of the NFLPA can negotiate retirement and medical benefits for the current players without the need to have representatives of the NFLA in the room. Barring all that happening, the current NFLPA could negotiate their own retirement package and demand that  it be made retroactive to include all current NFLA members. There simply is no valid reason for the NFLA to be filing a lawsuit that attempts to block the signing of a new CBA for the 2011 season. Their issues have nothing at all to do with playing football this year.

Unsweet Tea

There is no such thing as unsweet tea. Anyone that tells you any different is an ignorant moron. Yes, that includes AP readers. TEA is dried tea leaves steeped in water. Tea with sugar added to it is ‘SWEET TEA’. It’s just that simple. There is no such thing as ‘Unsweet Tea’. Much like tea, coke is made by a specific process. If you add cherry flavoring to it you have ‘Cherry Coke'. There is no such thing as ‘Uncherry Coke', just as there is no such thing as ‘Unsweet Tea' or an Unpeed on ham and cheese sandwich.

Things are not named based upon what you DON'T add to them. The only exception is gasoline, but even that exception makes logical sense. At one time ALL gasoline had lead added to it as part of the refinement process. As car engines changed, some of them no longer required lead to be added. Still, ALL gasoline had lead added to it, but SOME of the finished gasoline went through a process to have the lead removed after the fact. That gasoline was named unleaded, because the lead had been removed.

ALL tea does NOT have sugar added to it as part of the tea making process. Therefore, tea does not start out sweet. Therefore, calling tea by the name ‘Unsweet Tea' is moronic. There is no such thing as unsweet tea and I should be legally able to slap the crap out of anyone that asks me if I want my tea sweet or unsweet. In fact, Google Docs has underlined every instance of the word unsweet in this rant as a misspelled word; because there is no such thing as unsweet tea. It's just called tea.

Recommended Buttons are there to be used

On the bottom of every single post here on AP there is an option to recommend that post. A rec is a feel good pat on the back for the writer of the post. A rec creates warm fuzzys and acknowledges the work someone puts into a post. More people should use the rec feature on this website.

Every time I see someone say "rec'd" in the comment section without actually rec'ing the post in question, I die a little bit inside. Let's be clear, I'm NOT talking about my posts. Posts by contributors that are front page added to the site can get rec's, but they do not get added to the favorite posts list on the main screen. No amount of rec'ing will ever move this post to the favorites list. This is not about me.

My point is this: When a post receives 15 or more rec's it gets moved to the favorite posts list on the main screen. Because it does not continue to slide down the page hour after hour, any discussion that happens in the comments stays up at the top of the posts list. Having a few posts in the favorites list goes a long way to assuring that a back and forth of comments and ideas continues to happen here on AP. When every post disappears after just a couple days, the discussion of those topics also dies.

There are a lot of people that know a lot more about any given topic than I know, and they are more likely to engage in conversation that enlightens us all if the main post that contains the conversation doesn't sink away into obscurity over night.

When you read a post that you appreciate and think others would enjoy reading: RECOMMEND THAT POST. I have not seen one single post in the favorite posts section of AP's main page in well over 3 weeks. Encourage your favorite posters, and keep the conversation alive. Use the Rec button.

Cashiers should be able to count

Just exactly how stupid are the kids graduating from high school these days? Was there some rule instituted that says students no longer need to be able to count? Can we PLEASE take the calculators and computers out of grade schools until the children learn the basics of addition and subtraction?

Sandwich_medium

            sandwiches available at games that your cashier won't be able to ring up

I headed into a fast food place recently to order something to eat. I wont tell you what business it was, because I’m embarrassed to say that I actually ate any of the swill that they call food. I will say that the day I went is commonly advertised as ‘Taco Sunday’.

I went up to the register and told the young lady that I would like to order 10 taco supremos. The high school aged girl behind the counter told me that there was no 10 pack of taco supremos available on the menu, and she would have to charge me for each taco individually, or add an additional $0.49 to the price of each taco in a 10 pack. A 10 pack of tacos is $10 on their menu. $10 + ($0.49 X 10) would be $14.90. This seemed reasonable to me.

Our friendly cashier then proceeded to ring up three separate orders of a 3 pack of taco supreme meals (including drinks that I didn’t want) telling me that it would be cheaper to ring it that way than to charge me the $0.49 additional for each taco. Watching her ring up the meals, I see that they cost $5.99 each. Now the last time I checked ($6 x 3) - $0.03 was $17.97. I did this math in my head in about ¼ of a second. Further, the last time I took a math class $17.97 was MORE than $14.90.

I informed said idiot of a cashier that I wanted 10 taco supremos, and that if she would just add the additional $0.49 to each one that the total would have been $14.90 + tax; but that she had charged me $17.97 + tax for only 9 taco supremos and 3 drinks that I don’t want. Her response was to tell me that, "If you don’t want the drinks I just won’t give you the cups."

She seemed to be shocked that I did not consider this a viable solution to the dilemma of paying more money for less food. I spoke out loud, doing the math for her, so that she could understand my problem with they way she had chosen to ring up my order. The look on her face when I had finished reminded me of a wide eyed beagle tilting it’s head in confusion as it’s owner went into great detail explaining the birth of the universe.  I then just asked her to void it out and ring up the 10 pack of tacos and then add the $0.49 price difference 10 times for the supremos.

She responded that it was "easier" to just ring in the meals. About that time, I was failing in my attempt to repress the rage that began to manifest in the form of me holding up my hands in front of my face and pretending to squeeze her neck until her pretty green eyes POPPED right out of her skull. "I don’t really CARE what’s easier to ring in," I explained. "I want you to ring my order in the way that charges for what I would like, and ONLY what I would like [under my breath - you imbecile]."

A manager, obviously noticing my distress as well as the lengthening que forming up behind me, stepped over to the counter to rescue me. She listened to me explain what I was trying to accomplish, and then deleted the order and rang it up in a way that would not be incredibly stupid. All the while, the previous cashier was going on and on about how the meals would be cheaper. The manager, having had enough, told her cashier to "stop talking and take the next customer in line on that other register."

Now that everything was finally rung in, I could get my bag of what would turn out to be inedible pseudo food products wrapped in wax paper that was by far more digestible than the food. The manager informed me that my total with tax would be $18.04. I reached into my pocket and fished out my money. I sifted through my money stack, and realized I didn’t have a $5 bill to tip the hairstylist (my next errand for the day) at Great Clips (which they should rename Great Cleavage, as it’s the only reason I go there to get my hair cut). I handed the manager of this fine fake Mexican food establishment $23.04 to pay for my meal.

She then handed me back my three $1 bills and 4 pennies, explaining that she didn’t need them. She punched the $20 button on the register and began to give me back $1.96. Have you ever looked directly into the eyes of 5 year old child and told them that their car door was ajar? The look on this managers face wasn’t much different when I stopped her and gave her back the $3.04 and told her I wanted a $5 bill. She argued. I argued. It wasn’t pretty. I was eventually asked not to come back.

I’ll spare you the rest of the story. Let me just say again: Cashiers should be able to count. If you have a teenager that cannot make change or do basic math in their head, do the entire world a favor and shoot them in the face with a potato gun. We have enough ignorant people using up oxygen already. They would better serve society as soil fertilizer.

Preseason football is not real NFL football

I’m an avid football fan. I record almost every game, every week. I watch my Chiefs games multiple times each to break down the defensive tape and really understand what’s going on scheme wise on the field. I LOVE football. I don’t talk to people on Sunday outside of emergencies. Samantha has been informed since the day we started dating, years ago, and reminded the day she moved in with me that...... Sunday is for football. Don’t plan anything that involves me. Don’t schedule anything you want me to attend. Don’t ask me to do chores or drive you to the mall / market. Don’t have friends over for a diner party, and don’t ever expect this to change for as long as we are a couple.


Herm_pointing_preseason_medium

I don’t watch preseason football aside from Chiefs games. I don’t even care if I miss the Chiefs preseason games all that much [*head twitches and eyes lock up.... did I just say that?]. Why? Because preseason football is not real football. Teams are playing 100% vanilla game plans. They aren’t playing a lot of the starters for fear of injuries. Clubs don’t even put any stock in winning preseason games.

 

Which brings me to this question: Why the hell am I expected to pay full ticket prices for preseason NFL football games? Real NFL coaches will tell you that they don’t really care if they win or lose the game. Preseason games are for implementing game plans and finding out which players on the bubble will make the opening day roster. No coach has ever lambasted his players for not dominating preseason games.

If the coaches, players, and even the owners don’t take those games seriously enough play their best players and go all out to win how can they expect fans to pay the same money as the clubs charge for a week 14 regular season game? Preseason football games shouldn’t even be included in season ticket prices, unless it’s as a free add on.

Clubs should give those tickets away for free to the first ‘X’ number of people to get to the stadium, and count on concessions sales to put a little money in their pockets. It’s not real football, and I refuse to pay real money for it.

 

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I haven’t even scratched the surface of my rant note topics, but alas it’s time to go back to work. Look for another Unrelated Rants post in the future to sate my hatred and disdain for the rest of the world. As always, tear this post up in the comments and add your own rants free of topic constraints.

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