First of all, let me get this off my chest. Joel, this post is your fault. If you hadn't posted that video of the last playoff win that the Chiefs have had, I would not have gone down this road. I even commented that I didn't want to go down this road, but preferred to stay in the now. All that talk you included about how tough that Buffalo loss was to you as a kid just made it worse. Thanks for the inspiration. :)
The loss to Buffalo in '93 was a huge disappointment and one will always wonder what might have happened if Montana hadn't gone down with injury. As my avatar would indicate, I think pretty highly of Mr. Montana. If I ever met him, I might just claim a perfect life and die on the spot. Thinking about this, of course, only lead me further down the path of darkness and into the abyss of the '95 season playoff game where the kicker who shall not be named put a lid on our chances at another SB run.
That game ripped what was left of my heart from the '93 loss completely out of my chest. I was working the day of that game and had brought a small b/w TV with me to watch the game. I was in charge of the shop that day and my Chiefs were somewhere that they seldom go. I was hanged if I was going to miss the entire game. The worst part was dealing with a fellow worker who didn't like either team. With each of those missed FG attempts he would go berserk and twist the knife handle in my back. I can still see his face today. I think he looks like Ups.
Anyway, with those memories fresh in my mind, and Steve Chiefs recent article about how hard it's been to beat Mr. Football, I got to wondering about the circumstances surrounding how the Chiefs have actually done vs. the the Indianapolis Colts. I did a little research and after a preponderance of the evidence I have come to the conclusion that the the city of Indianapolis has cursed our beloved Chiefs.
A quick look at the matchups over the years provides all you need to know about how difficult it's been for the Chiefs to beat Indy. Make no mistake here. This has less to do with the Colts than it does with Indianoplis. Before the Colts moved to Indy, the Chiefs were the owner of a 5-3 record versus the Blue and White. While that's not particularly dominating, it's not all that bad either. The city of Baltimore is in the clear.
It's Indianapolis that worries me. A 2-9 record over a span of 25 years? Something is amiss and I don't think it's the directions to the endzone. I think Indianapolis is inhabited by gypsies. The kind that understand how to create and manage a werewolf. Remember the gypsy troup in the movies that was always hanging around Lon Chaney?
Those folks always knew far too much about magic and spells and such to convince me they were as hamless as they always pretended to be in the movies. I think some of their ancestors live still in and around the Indianapolis area and one of them took exception to someting the Chiefs did back in the day. One of them concurrently cast a spell and bingo, the Chiefs were toast. While my evidence cannot be considered conclusive, it does come under the category of "that's kinda wierd isn't it?". Allow me to postulate, ruminate and bloviate my position.
This is Indianapolis. I have shown it in the dark to illustrate it's proclivities. Everyone thinks it's just another nice midwestern city. It is until you do something to provoke it's ire. I think the Chiefs did just that on November 24th, 1985. That was the first time the Chiefs played the Colts since moving to Indianapolis the previous year. It just so happened that we played them in KC and beat them by a score of 20-7.
What's weird about that? Not all that much really. Mike Pruitt had a 2 yard scoring run, Stephone Paige caught a 22 yard pass for a TD and Nick 'the kick' Lowery added two FGs for our 20 point total. Fairly pedestrian I'll agree. The colts could only manage a George Wansley 14 yard run for a score in the fourth quarter to finally get on the board and avoid embarassment. What is odd about a seemingly no account game? It is who the QB was. Todd Blackeledge.
That's right sports fans, another KC masterpiece. Here's a guy who in five years as a chief, had 24 starts going 13-11. He had to duke it out with the likes of Bill Kenney (the only starting QB in the NFL ever chosen in the 12th round of the draft--I know the draft only has 7 rounds--ok?) for playing time and then when he did get in the game he had 26 TDs and 32 INTs, averaged 112 yds/g and had a 62 rating completing 49% of his passes for 4900 yards--in five years. He is generally considered the biggest bust of a draft pick that the Chiefs have ever made and yet, he was at the helm on one of only two times that the Chiefs have been able to best the Colts since they moved to Indy. And, it happened to be the first time. Strange? Well....yeah. What's more, the Chiefs have never beaten the Colts in Indy, ever.
I think getting beaten by one of the biggest QB busts in history got that gypsy blood riled up. Somebody pulled out their little black book of spells and put the whammy on KC. I wonder if there was a full moon that night? 1985 was just one of those years for KC. The Royals (I know, I still find it hard to believe) had won the world series. Maybe somebody just figured that too much good mojo was being revealed in KC and jealousy reared it ugly head. It only takes one aggravted sorcerer to screw with somebody's next 50 years or so.
The only other time that the Chiefs have been able to beat the Indianapolis Colts was on this guy's watch.
As Jason Whitlock would say, Tr'int' Green was the author of the only other time since the move that the Chiefs have bested the Colts. INT would not describe Trent's efforts on that day during the 2004 season. No indeed. In fact, he did not turn the ball over at all. Trent went 27 of 34 for 389 yards with three TDs. Vermeil's Chiefs would not be denied that day in KC. Tony G caught 2 TDs and Johnnie Morton one as the Chiefs prevailed over our much hated foe.
The interesting part is how KC won. Mr. Football didn't lay down by a long shot. Peyton Manning went 25 of 44 for 472 yards, FIVE TDs and 1 int. The final score was Chiefs 45, Colts 35. 80 points were scored in that game. It was awesome, and cemented Trent Green in the hearts of Chiefs fans for many years to come. On that day, no matter how hard the Colts fought, it was not to be. The Chiefs took the ball downfield time after time and put it in the endzone. On that day the Chiefs would score SIX TDs and prove that they could beat the Colts.
So what's the weird part? The game was played on a day when supernatural things are commonplace.
That's right folks. This was a Halloween game and from the outcome it sure looks like the Chiefs had a little bit of otherworldly help. Peyton throws for nearly 500 yards and loses? What are the odds of that? I looked it up. Peyton has Ten 400 yard games in his career and he only lost on three occaisions. What's really odd is that of those three loses, the Chiefs are the only team that he doesn't have multiple 400 yd games against. His losses occured vs the Texans and the Chargers. Two teams that he had previously beaten on 400 yd outings making him 1-1 vs. those teams. The Chiefs are the only team that Mr. Football has thrown for 400 or more yards against and never beaten, and it occured on Halloween, 2004.
Want a little more? Ok. That one outing of 472 yards and 5 TDs was part of a record breaking season for Peyton. He threw 49 TDs setting the (then) single season season record for TD passes. He also owns the record for most games in a career with 5 or more TDs, having thrown 7. His record in those games? 6-1. The one loss was to the Chiefs in that Halloween game. The 472 yards that he threw for that day is also his single game best. Are you kidding me? Mr. Football throws for the most yards in his entire career against my Chiefs and loses? I just felt a cold draft down my neck and I don't think it was the air conditioner.
Thinking back on last season, you will remember that we had Mr. Football and his Colts retreating for the ropes, when a certain wide receiver dropped a pass. It was one of those passes that you watch hit the ground and think--how did he drop that one? It hit him right in the freakin' numbers! That's what curses will do to you. They make simple things hard, like catching passes that are so on the money that a high school senior could make the play, yet a third year veteran can't. Maybe it wasn't Bowe's fault after all. It was the curse of the RCA Dome. The Chiefs never won a game there, so maybe it has carried over to Lucas Oil Stadium.
So there it is, the real reason that our Chiefs just can't seem to beat those pesky Colts. Bad juju. You know what they say you should wear around your neck to avoid werewolf attacks? Wolfbane. I ain't buying it. All those Gypsies were wearing bling. I think that somebody should point this out to Coach Haley and maybe even send him some modern day stuff. You know, rope chains with dolla signs hangin' on'em. Just make sure they're made of silver. Everybody knows it takes a silver bullet to dismiss a werewolf, right?
The Chiefs have another chance coming up this fall to break the RCA Dome curse. On the 9th of October (assuming the season comes off as planned) the Chiefs will once again meet the Indianapolis Colts on their turf. It's time to put old feuds to bed. The Chiefs time has arrived. I can't stand to see another defeat at the hands of Mr. Football. Tell all the fans who will be at the game that day to drink all the Coors Light they can get their hands on. Haley and the Chiefs will need all the silver bullets they can get to finish this hex once and for all.
And if you see this guy at the game...
Put down the skunky beer, go get yourself a silver bullet and pray he doesn't find you!