So I lost a bet... the details of said bet are not important as it is too difficult for me to talk abo....sniff sniff.... moving on.... as punishment I am to write a glowing (and I suppose deserved) FanPost about my boy... the man, the myth, the legend. THEaveragegatsby.
The Gatsby ain't so average
Gatsby is a ladies man who's got so much game
He puts Carrot Top's game to shame
He's a powerhouse of muscle, a man to be feared
One look and he scared the hair from Orton's neck beard
When Gatsby walks into a rooms he is accompanied by chorus
He is the President of Bad Ass and his V.P. is Chuck Norris.
(Everyone knows Chuck Norris is running the showwwwwwwwww)
He's Casey at bat, "Straight away center" he'd shout
Only this ain't Casey cause Gatsby never strikes out.
(Except with the ladiesssssssssss)
There is only one thing that scares Gatsby sh**less
You wanna know what? That's none of your damn business!
(I think it's chickssssssssssssssss)
Gatsby is clutch, he always gets the win
He's the Tebow we like... the one with alot more sin.
((This is the only acceptable Tebow pic I could find.... It has nothing to do with... ya know... uh huh... oh yeah))
You can comment what you like but be careful the words that you choose
Never bet against Gatsby, it's a bet you will lose
(Damn you Russell Wilsonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!)
In the end, he's the kinda man you hope to be when you grow up
Now everyone excuse me I have to go throw up.
I will be awaiting my new signature.