After literally years of toiling over posts and paradebulations we've only been able to make one lasting mark on the arrowhead pride community. Painstakingly convoluted prose with top-tier third-level joke pyramiding just doesn't have the gravitational force that is a tattoo of a dolphin smoking a bong in a recliner.
In addition to being the stupidest mascot in the NFL, it also is the only thing that truly makes you happy dear reader. As the great philosopher Sheryl Crow once taught us, well then, it can't be that bad.
Here you go you animals, and if anyone knows who stole the face plate off the radio of a 1995 red lebaron convertible, we would like it back.*
Oh we will vampire posers, we, will. [Dream of finding Dolphicornmaid, chased]
What's cool is that now we know for a certainty someone uttered some variation of this sentence:
"Yeah, but he's an actual dolphin, and I want him to have one of those breath right strips."
Doesn't a dolphin breath through... You know what? Screw it, let's do this.
But what if they're getting DOLPHIN GAY MARRIED!?!?!
Of course you exist.
The hand is what confuses us. Is that a gorilla paw?
Before photoshop people actually did this. And what's more, it was probably funnier to see the process of actually doing it. Now some dork just clicks a plastic thing. The dude who did this probably attached that hat with drywall screws whilst smoking unfiltered lucky strikes. What a badass, we bet that pipe is fully functional too.
See above, idiot.
Is formal shark "western" or "old tymey" formal?
Despite the URL we'd hang this on our wall.
"Hey kids we've harnessed the incredible power of the computer chip and made it reasonably possible for you to actually play video games on a television in your own home! Now, ..., who wants to pretend they're a dolphin?"
Jason Mraz dolphin, THIS is a dangerous liaison. To repeat, Jason Mraz dolphin.
You're having a seizure and it's an earthquake.
*Yes Jon Voight's LeBaron, congrats chucklehead.