Hi God. It’s Grayt1 Again…

Well Sir, a promise is a promise.  I promised you Lord if you helped the Chiefs win the Monday Nighter I would talk to you every week and you definitely lived up to your end of the deal…

First off, well done on Monday night.  I was speechless (I can’t say the same for MNchiefsfan though). I can honestly say I did not see you playing the whole Miracle card, that’s for sure.  That was truly a religious experience for many.  However God, I am tempted to question your motivation behind what has been dubbed by many as the ‘Halloween Miracle’.  I don’t think you did it to help the Chiefs; there I said it.  Judging by all the “J.C.’s” yelled out by Charger fans and all of the “O.M.G.’s” yelled out by Chiefs fans, I am thinking you just recruited a few more followers. Coincidence? I think not.


Oh Omniscient One, in honour of said Miracle I would like to nominate a Kansas City Chief Player to be your next Saint.  I believe in order to become a Saint one must perform a miracle and have it witnessed by many.  So I am officially nominating #96 for miraculously snagging the ball out of the pits of Hell following the ‘Phumble’ in front of literally millions of viewers.  I used to call him STUDebaker but I think St. Udebaker sounds even better.


Dare I say us APers witnessed another, smaller miracle?  We all saw Craig in Calgary use the words ‘like’, ‘impress’ and ‘quality’ while describing Matt Cassel’s play.  I was stunned, just stunned to read this…


Anyway, on to business.  Lord, I feel we have a good working relationship now and I would like to keep it going.  Again, I am not going to be greedy, I want to maintain my humility in this, my time of need.  God, I am asking you to help the Kansas City Chiefs be victorious over the Miami Dolphins this Sunday.  I have been quite stressed all week about one thing with this game.  I am worried Dear Lord that the Chiefs will fall victim to a common affliction know as Emotional Hangover.  Please Lord; help the Chiefs fight through their shortened week and their emotional high to a focused preparation for the game.  I do truly feel you taught them all to be humble during those first three games so I do not feel the success will go to their head, but I do not want them to come down from their high and play sluggish. Again, I am not asking for a blowout victory this week and I would never presume to ask for a miracle, but I would like to ask for a good game Dear Lord.  Maybe not so close this time?!?  I fear for the health of some Chief fans if they have to go through another nail-biter.  I would kindly ask Dear God for a 31-14 victory.


As for the Miami Dolphins, I do not wish harm upon any of these players as I did to Antonio Gates last week.  I know you are fond of that which is one of your greatest creations, the porpoise, so I would never ask you to hurt one.  However, I do feel they have not learned the virtue of humility.  Their coach is a wannabe judging by his goatee and their running back spends more time doing pizza commercials than practicing and building a rapport with his teammates so I feel they need another lesson in humility Dear Lord and this is a great opportunity to impose your will upon them.


I feel as though I owe you another concession this week after how well you treated me last week.  So this week I promise you this Dear Lord: The number of bottles of beer I consume on Sunday will not reach double digits.  You’ve known me for years (obviously) so you know how much of a sacrifice this will be for me.  Lord knows You know I failed to do this on Monday.  And as I promised you last week Dear Lord, I will continue to talk to you on a weekly basis if you can grant me and all of the hard working, law abiding Chiefs fans this one request.  Thank you.



This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Arrowhead Pride's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Arrowhead Pride writers or editors.

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