Hi there God, it’s me Grayt1. Now I know I haven’t spoken to you in a while…okay let’s be honest I haven’t talked to you in a llloooonnnggg time but I feel that’s all right since it has allowed you the time you must certainly need to deal with the throngs of sinful Raider fans out there. First off, I think I have been a pretty good guy all these years; I have to be doing something right to have a beautiful wife of 8 years and three wonderful kids so putting that together with the fact that I haven’t bothered you in a long time I think I may have earned one favour!?!? I am losing sleep, I can’t stop thinking and worrying about a certain event to take place tonight. That’s right, you know I am talking about the Chiefs/Chargers Monday nighter.
So my request, and I am not going to be greedy here either, I just really want the Kansas City Chiefs to win tonight. That is all. I am not looking for a 28-0 blowout. I am not asking for 6 interceptions with 2 of them being returned for touch downs. All I want is a competitive win. You know, maybe just let us win the opening coin toss and let us defer to the second half. Maybe don’t allow us to fumble our first kick off return of the game. You know, maybe try to convince Muir or Haley to utilize McCluster as a wide receiver instead of as a running back. Give him a few screen passes. Just try to keep Cassel’s head in the game and keep him fired up. May the hands of Bowe, Breaston and Baldwin be strong and true. May the thighs of Battle be thunderous and may the beard of Haley grow ever longer. I hope this is not too much to ask? I would love a 24-20 Chiefs victory. I think that would be perfect.
You know what else would be great God? Perhaps Antonio Gates could get another wicked plantars wart or a turf toe or something. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t wish him any harm (because that would in itself be a sin) but he has wronged the Chiefs time and again and it is time he feel the wrath of your vengeance for it. You know, like how you brought the thunder down on Tim Tebow yesterday for committing the ultimate sin; giving the Donkey fans hope the week before. We all know they don’t deserve to be in the AFC West race right now and I am glad you saw that as well.
So in closing dear Lord, if you can give me just this one wish I promise I will speak to you on a more regular basis. I am thinking every Sunday morning around 10:45 AM Mountain Standard Time…does that sound good? Again, thank you Lord in advance for heeding my request and granting all of us hard working, law abiding, faithful Chiefs fans a victory tonight.